Icha Icha Sunnydale
by GinnyMyLove
Summary: The spirit of Icha Icha of Naruto fame descends upon Sunnydale. Multicross later on. Written for NaNoWriMo 2010.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own anything in the Buffyverse, no infringement is intended._

**Foreword:** For the purposes of this story I have changed Dawns age so that she is only 2-3 years younger than the Scoobies.

Icha Icha Sunnydale - Chapter 1

Xander Harris sat staring intently at the paperwork spread across the table. This had rather unexpectedly turned from a bit of fun into a very serious situation, if he couldn't get this just right then it was all over. After one final calculation he sighed and sat back, pushing away from the table.

"I'm out! How do you win every time we play Monopoly?"

Dawn giggled as she began putting her money and cards away in the box, this was a weekly ritual since she was 12 and old enough to actually understand the mechanics of the game. The fact that in four years Xander had never beaten her was one of her deepest darkest pleasures. Especially since she'd had a crush on him since coming to Sunnydale and the two of them drove the rest of the Scoobies away from the game within an hour meant she had him all to herself.

"It's not my fault you suck." She stuck her tongue out maturely as she wiggled in her seat with glee. Greatly enjoying his feigned heart attack at her words.

It had been a month since the High School had been destroyed taking down the Mayor and it had been relatively quiet, as all summers seemed to be in Sunnydale. Dawn wasn't exactly sure where she was supposed to start school in just two short months, but for the moment she really didn't care. Her 'family' was safe and Xander was alone with her. Life was good...well as good as it could get when your crush is three years older than you are and only recently of a relationship with a kinky ex-demon lover.

"Is there any pizza left?" Xander asked as he stood up and went into the kitchen where Buffy and Willow were apparently 'girl talking'.

"...and I don't know, don't get me wrong the sex is good...at least I think its good, but there seems like its just missing something..." Willow trailed off as she realized a wide-eyed Xander had his ears plugged and was chanting to himself to prevent hearing about her sex life.

He opened one eye and stopped his chant, "All clear now?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and motioned for him to remove his hands, "All clear, there's still a few pieces in that box over there."

"Yoink!" Dawn grinned as she snagged the last pepperoni leaving Xander with the plain cheese pizza.

"HEY! No fair! You know I love that greasy gooey pepperoni-yee goodness!"

"What'll you do for me if I let you have it?" Dawn asked innocently, but with a flirty smirk on her face.

Xander gulped, having noticed that she had been gifted by the puberty fairy in the last year or so, "Uh...ummina...mmm my my, my pizza!" He dove for it.

Meanwhile Buffy looked sick and was holding her ears and shaking her head, "Dawn is NOT flirting with Xander!"

Willow smiled, "Dawn always flirts with Xander, what else is new?"

Dawn danced away from Xander's half-hearted attempts to grab said pizza slice without tackling her or otherwise grabbing her somewhere inappropriate. She made it to the other side of the island and slowly swayed back and forth, tipping her head back and extending her tongue as the pizza slowly lowered toward her mouth. Meanwhile Xander whined pitifully and swayed back and forth in time with her movements, looking like a snake caught in the charmer's spell.

Buffy shook her head, "But she's never flirted successfully with Xander! This is just WRONG! She's only 16!"

"Says the girl who's first was over a century old..."

"Hey!" Buffy said looking wounded, "Since when are you all miss meany?"

Willow looked like she might cry as she tried to apologize, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry..its just this whole thing with Oz has me messed up, and honestly I think they're cute together..."

"Cute. Operative word. It was cute when my baby sister tried to flirt with my Xander-shaped friend, it is NOT cute when my suddenly and unfortunately sexy little sister successfully makes him stutter without trying!"

"To be fair, most females can make Xander stutter, Dawn just finally has the body to cash the checks her mouth has been writing for years..."

Buffy's jaw dropped, then she smacked her friends shoulder, "Um...Willow, you did not just check out my sister!"

Willow's eyes went wide, "O-of course I didn't! I mean I just..its hard not to realize she's just about through puberty which is only natural and she's beautiful which you don't have to be gay to realize, I mean she's your sister so how could she not be beautiful..."

Meanwhile Xander had successfully driven Dawn into a corner with a feint and the two of them were wrestling on the floor for the piece of pepperoni which Dawn kept up high off the floor no matter what position they ended up in. Xander finally got her pinned beneath him and was looking into her eyes when she pouted at him cutely. "I guess you win."

Xander scrambled away from her quickly and stood up, "Uh...never mind, you can keep it..." he turned and ran smack into Willow rather than heading out the kitchen door to the living room.

"Xander?" She asked.

He looked slightly panicked as he backed away, "Um..um...I need to uh...use the bathroom. Be right back!" With that he darted from the room.

Meanwhile Dawn lay on her back still panting and thinking of the way Xander had felt pressed against her like that. Her thoughts were interrupted by slayer-strength yanking her to her feet. "Just what the hell was that?" Buffy shouted quietly.

"Ow! I'm telling Mom!"

"Tell her whatever you want, and I'll tell her you were flirting with Xander!"

Dawn smiled, "Mom likes Xander and you know it."

"For Me! She wants ME to date Xander and she knows I don't see him like that!"

"I like Xander too, he's very...Xander..." Willow trailed off trying to remember where she was going with her comment.

"Don't you start," Buffy said pointing a finger at the rehead, "We haven't finished our discussion. What is it with my friends and my little sister?"

Dawn looked entirely confused at that question and Willow's blush. "Xander is a great guy, and he's only a couple years older than I am." She crossed her arms under her breasts, subtly proving that, indeed, puberty was being very nice to her.

"Xander is 19 and off limits! Hell I think the law says you can't have sex until you're 18 anyway!"

Willow tried to close the door that Buffy just left wide open but Dawn beat her to it. "Says the girl who slept with Angel when she was 16?"

"I was 17 thank you!" Buffy said now mildly chastised, "That was different...I'm the slayer..."

"And he's a vampire, a two hundred year old vampire at that. Who the hell are you to lecture me about age difference?"

Buffy quickly changed the subject, "Doesn't matter anyway, Xander has never seen you that way anyway."

Willow cocked her head to one side, "Then why are you so upset about it? I know a thing or two about pining away for our Xander-shaped friend."

Buffy threw her hands up and huffed as she turned to leave the room, "Fine, you two can just have your pity party without me. I'm not going to join the 'I love Xander but he doesn't see me as a girl' fan club." With that she stormed from the room.

Willow turned a crestfallen face to meet Dawns equally sad puppy look. "Are we really that bad?"

Dawn hugged the redhead but her face was still sad, "Nah, you already got him to notice you. I'm the only pathetic one here."

"Hey, if I could do it you can too...but uh, Buffy was right, its against the law right now you know?"

Dawn rolled her eyes as she sat on a bar stool and picked up the discarded pepperoni slice. "Teenagers have sex, no law can change that...just because I haven't yet doesn't mean I wouldn't. Besides, hugging and cuddling and kissing aren't against the law no matter what the age."

Willow's thoughts returned to Oz and she immediately felt guilty for thinking of Xander like THAT again. It wasn't all that long ago that the "fluke" had happened between the two of them, and he'd lost his relationship with Cordelia while she was able to patch things up with Oz. She tried not to think about how awful she was for abandoning him after cheating on their significant others together, but at times like this she knew she had been absolutely horrid to both men. Xander was her best friend since forever and he really deserved better. Dawn hadn't spoken to her for months after that but at the time Willow had been too involved with paying attention to Oz to really notice.

"So how are you and Oz? I interrupted you and 'The Bitchy One'." Dawn asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

She put a false smile on her face for Dawns benefit, "Oh no, we're fine, better than fine! I mean we're both busy with school and witchcraft and band stuff but when we are together its great!"

Dawn grinned, "So how's the sex? I mean if I can't have it I can live vicariously through you right?"

Willow blushed the color of her hair, "I..I..its fine..."

"Fine doesn't sound good." Dawn said before taking another bite of pizza.

"No! I mean its great! I just uh...I feel strange talking about it with you...because you know...you're..."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah Yeah, I'm little Dawnie...fine I get it." Before Willow could sputter a response Dawn got up and headed for the door. "I think I'll go to bed and make use of my new fantasy fuel since Xander isn't likely to come back after that."

Willow couldn't say anything as she blushed at the thought of little Dawnie's "fantasies" and what she would probably be doing with them. She had been 16 and in love with Xander herself after all. She watched as Dawn left the room before smacking her head on the counter as she sat down on the vacated bar stool.

It was at this unfortunate moment, while her old fantasies were running through her mind, that the object of her thoughts popped his head cautiously into the kitchen. "All clear?"

Willow shot to her feet with wide eyes, "Uh..er..what?"

Xander narrowed his eyes for a moment before shrugging it off, babbling Willow was something he was used to. "Making sure Dawnie wasn't here...that was, uncomfortable..."

"Uncomfortable?"

"Well I mean...we were just wrestling and I think she got the wrong idea."

Willow was the one to look confused, "What idea is that?"

"Uh...that there might have been something else going on besides fighting over the last slice of pepperoni. I mean I know she's got this thing in her head about me, its kinda hard to miss."

Willow frowned at that, how could he notice in three years that Dawn was infatuated with him, but it took him a decade to see her as anything but a Willow-shaped friend?

He continued without noticing her reaction, "I mean, she's a sweet girl really, she's...I mean she's the Dawnster! She's awesome, but I just don't see her that way."

Willow stood up and made to say something in Dawns defense, but ended up huffing at him and leaving the room instead. She decided it was probably a good idea to go find Oz. Xander found himself alone in the kitchen with his own, decidedly jumbled thoughts and suspected he'd missed something. Then he looked down at the counter.

"Ooh! Half eaten pepperoni pizza slice, I call dibs!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:**_I do not own anything in the Buffyverse, no infringement is intended_

Icha Icha Sunnydale: Chapter Two

As had become the routine for the last week or so Saturday morning rolled around to find Xander asleep on the couch in the living room. What was unusual was to find Dawn asleep on top of him, so Joyce Summers was mildly shocked when she came down the stairs and headed toward the kitchen.

A quick examination revealed all clothes and hands in their proper places, and in fact it looked like Dawn had curled up on the older boy without his knowledge. Joyce gently shook her youngest daughters shoulder. "Dawnie..."

"Mmmmm Xander..."

"Dawn."

"Don' wanna."

"Dawn Michelle Summers!"

Dawn jumped off of Xander and landed on the floor with a thump, luckily Xander, who had slept through worse, simply rolled over. "Ow..." She said quietly with a cute little pout.

"Do you mind explaining to me just what my sixteen year old daughter is doing sleeping with a nearly twenty year old man?" She asked quietly but sternly.

Dawn looked guiltily around, "Um...I can explain..."

Joyce crossed her arms and simply looked down at her daughter with the patented, 'I'm waiting' look all mothers seem to know. "I came down for a drink of water, and on the way back up I thought it would be funny to make him wake up thinking we'd slept on the couch together."

"That doesn't explain why you were _actually _sleeping on the couch together."

"Well see, I really did try to wake him up but he sleeps like the dead, and he was really comfy. So then I just kinda laid there to enjoy it for a minute...and then you woke me up."

Joyce sighed, "Come on, I'm about to make breakfast. You can continue explaining."

Dawn followed her mother into the kitchen and set the table for four people before sitting down and looking guilty while her mother got out the various ingredients for a balanced breakfast. Joyce turned to look over her shoulder, "Go ahead. I can hear you, and the minute the bacon hits the pan we won't be alone any longer."

Dawn took a deep breath and related some of what had happened after Monopoly much earlier that morning. "...and then he got all nervous and ran away, and I didn't see him again. So I thought it would be funny if he thought for a second that he took advantage of me."

Joyce sighed again. She honestly loved Xander and would have loved to see him with Buffy, but things never worked in that direction. She knew of her daughters crush on the older boy and were he younger she would wholly approve of a relationship. Up til this point it had been cute, but it seemed that things now needed to be addressed head on.

"He is three years older than you are dear."

"And Angel is like a bazillion years older than Buffy."

"We aren't talking about Buffy, and you know how I felt about that relationship. At best the man died when he was in his twenties so sleeping with my seventeen year old daughter was still illegal."

Dawn perked up a bit at the slight change in subject, "Yeah but a hundred years ago I'd be considered an old maid if I wasn't married by now. Buffy was positively ancient by his standards!"

Her mom didn't fall for it though, "Again, we are not talking about Buffy; and it is not the eighteenth century any longer. Women are able to live independent of a man now, and are better educated as well as having more opportunity. We don't sell our daughters at the age of twelve any longer, unless you would like me to approach his parents about selling you for a couple of cows?"

Dawn looked petulant, but shrugged her shoulders in response even though Joyce couldn't see, she seemed to recognize the silence as an answer. "Alright then, what are your intentions toward that boy in there?"

Dawn smiled momentarily, remembering her fantasy the night before, then thought better of it, "I just want him to love me like I love him. What's wrong with that?"

"Again, he is several years older than you AND might I add, legally an adult. If things got out of hand he could be arrested for rape and sent to jail. At best he would likely have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. Have you thought about any of this?"

The youngest Summers was nothing if not a good student, and had in fact researched the subject very thoroughly in hopes of eventually convincing Xander himself. "No matter what the age, cuddling, hugging, holding hands and even kissing are not against the law."

"And I'm sure that is all you want to do." Her mother said with a roll of her eyes, "I was your age once..."

Dawn cut her off, "Yeah and it wasn't against the law back then, now even teenagers can't do it without it being illegal."

"Don't try to change the subject, yes when I was younger the laws were not as strict. But we also have an epidemic of teen pregnancy now. Girls your age getting pregnant and half the time the father is ten years or more older than she is!"

"Sometimes I wish we could just get smashed and go at it like you got to..."

Joyce whirled on her daughter with a sharp rebuke...then caught herself and turned back to beating the eggs. "We are not talking about me, we are talking about you. And we are not talking about the 60's and 70's we are talking about now. I know I've said it before, but I also know talking to your mom can be embarrassing. I assume you are still a virgin?"

"MOM!"

"Well?"

"OF COURSE I AM!" Dawn half shouted before mumbling, "I'm saving myself for him."

She tried to control her sighing as it was annoying even her, "Listen dear, it is simply too big a temptation for you to date him when I know very well what you want to do. Xander is a sweet boy who is older and more experienced than you are..."

Thinking of Anya, Dawn muttered, "You have no idea."

"...and I can't approve right now. I'm sorry. You need to leave the poor boy alone before you give him a heart attack or do something you can't take back." As she said this she dropped the first slices of bacon into the hot pan, the sound of sizzling acted as a counterpoint to her rebuke.

"I'm not giving up." Dawn said rebelliously.

"I'm not telling you to, I just want you to think about it,. We'll see,how it goes and maybe I will reconsider and that is even IF you still feel this way, and IF he hasn't moved on. He only just lost his girlfriend, I'm sure he isn't ready for a relationship as complicated as one with you would be."

Dawn wanted to continue the conversation but Xander appeared in the doorway. "Morning Mrs. S! Is that bacon I smell? The delicious fatty meat of the gods?"

Joyce smiled, "It is, have a seat and I'll have it ready in a minute. And what did I tell you and Willow after graduation?"

Dawn chimed in with a smile at Xander, "You mean a couple days later, nobody was in any shape to talk after blowing up the mayor."

"Yes that's what I meant, and I really wish you would stop idolizing these three for blowing up a school. That was an extreme situation!"

"Details, details." Dawn said before taking a sip of orange juice.

Like the white knight he was Xander stepped into the line of fire, "To call you Joyce, Mrs. S."

"How many times do I have to tell you?"

"At least one more time than you already did I guess. So," he said turning to Dawn, "Next Friday I think we need to play Life or Scrabble, or maybe Yahtzee..."

The two devolved into talking about board games and Joyce mentally tuned them out as she went over the pro's and con's of a relationship between the two. Her thoughts were interrupted by Buffy coming in and grumpily sitting down opposite Dawn at the table.

"Morning Sunshine!" Xander said happily. Buffy's response was half grunt, half moan. "Oh come on its not like you went on patrol last night or anything."

Buffy looked up, but then looked away quickly, hiding her face behind her hair. "We were still up late, and I...didn't sleep very well..."

"Funny, I slept great!" Xander said pouring his own glass of orange juice.

Dawn snorted into her own juice and quickly began spluttering as citrus was introduced to her sinus cavity. Xander began patting her on the back while trying not to laugh and Buffy poured her own glass. "Serves you right, what was so funny about that anyway?"

Still coughing Dawn waved off her sister's question, "Nothing...just hit me the wrong way at the wrong time!"

Buffy raised an eyebrow and looked at a grinning Xander who was now rubbing circles in the girls back, before quickly looking away. "I'm gonna go take a quick shower and try to wake up more. I bet Willow will be here any minute."

"Honestly, I don't understand teenagers nowadays, you want to sleep in every morning during the school year, but on a Saturday only weeks after you graduate you can't stay in bed past nine in the morning?"

Buffy shrugged as she exited the room so Xander answered, "Well...school is boring so there is nothing to look forward to. Whereas sweet summer vacation calls to us like siren song."

"Bad example Xander, siren song kills people." Dawn said with a smile.

Xander shrugged it off, "Meh, this is Sunnydale. A little siren song would be a nice change of pace. Anyway I have to head to Uncle Rory's today to look for the hunk of junk that will take me cross country this summer."

Dawn frowned at the reminder her Xander was leaving town for an undetermined amount of time. Joyce filled the silence before it could get awkward, "So you are still planning on going then?"

"Yeah, Wills and I have been planning it for years and I need to do this. Besides, at worst I'll end up staying in my car for a few months..."

Dawn frowned, she had figured out quickly that Xander did not have a good life at home, he told stories about sleeping outside on thanksgiving to get away from his family. If that wasn't bad enough, she had heard that story before she knew that Sunnydale sat on top of the mouth of hell and attracted all manner of things that go bump in the night. Leave it to Xander to prefer sleeping in the car.

Her musings were interrupted, thankfully, by Willow knocking on the back door before walking right in. "Good Morning everyone!"

Dawn and Xander groaned and squinted their eyes at her, "You are entirely too cheery in the morning." Dawn said.

"That's Willow for ya though, just a hint: never give this woman caffeine before ten am or you won't understand a word she says for the next hour."

Willow frowned at the pair, "I thought you liked my Willow-babble, I mean...you're one of the only ones who can understand me when I go on and on like that, well I mean Buffy has gotten better but she doesn't really know yet you know."

Xander held up a hand to cut her off, "You had coffee this morning didn't you?"

Willow tried to hide her smile, "Maybe..."

"Oz isn't a morning person?" Dawn asked causing Willow to blush lightly.

"I don't know what you are insinuating, just because I choose to partake of hot java goodness in the morning doesn't mean it has to be because I spent a night with my boyfriend. And besides," She shrugged, "Oz is more of an...Oz person than anything."

Joyce smiled as she brought bacon and eggs to the table, "Sit down dear, Buffy should be back in about..."

Xander started counting, "3-2-1"

Dawn finished, "Aaaaand, now..."

As she said this Buffy, looking much more alive sat down at the table still wrapping her wet hair up in a messy ponytail. She didn't miss the funny look everyone was throwing her and grabbed a butter knife to check her face in its shiny mirror-like surface. "What? Did I smear my makeup?"

The table busted up laughing as they began serving themselves, for some reason Buffy was still avoiding looking at Xander, which Willow and Dawn both noticed, the Slayer was practically inhaling her food to keep from meeting anyone eyes. Finally Willow put a hand on her shoulder. "Buffy?"

"Other room?" Buffy asked.

"Sure." Willow said getting up. "We'll be right back."

As the girls left the room Xander raised an eyebrow in Dawns direction, "Any clue?"

Dawn figured Buffy might still be mad about the night before, but couldn't figure out why she would be mad at Xander rather than herself. So in the end she just shrugged.

"Well, if you have nothing better to do today Dawnie, you wanna help me pick out a jalopy?"

The girls eyes lit up, "Oooh can I?"

"Sure, any car of mine has to have a Summer's-Seal-Of-Approval, and your mom is headed to work, and something tells me Buffy and Wills need the day to themselves or something."

Dawn turned to her mom, "Can I?"

Her mother smiled, "I suppose..." Dawn grinned and went to take another drink of her orange juice. Joyce waited for just the right moment... "Make sure you get him one with a nice big back seat."

Dawn began spluttering again and banging her palm against her forehead to get the orange juice out of her head, "Ow owowowowowowow."

Joyce smiled secretly behind her coffee mug, "I mean, if he is going to be sleeping in it, it should be comfortable."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile in the living room, two heads were bent toward each other on the couch, one blond, one red.

"Alright, so why can't you look Xander in the eye this morning? I mean I hope you aren't mad at him because Dawn flirted with him and he might have liked it. Lets admit it, Dawn is getting hotter and Xander is male." Willow said quietly.

"First of all, Ew, stop perving on my little sister." Willow choked a bit on her milk but before she could defend herself Buffy had moved on, "Second no I'm not mad at Xander...I um...I sort of had a dream about him...last night."

Willow perked up, "Ooh was it a slayer dream? Like was it a prophecy or something? Oh gosh!" her eyes went wide, "Tell me he isn't going to die! I mean if he was gonna die then I could see how it would be hard for you to look him in the eye, knowing what was gonna happen to him and all, really its understandable but Buffy you have to tell him. We have to be able to stop this, I mean we-"

Buffy put a hand on the other girls shoulder and looked around quickly to make sure nobody had noticed Willows raised voice, "Stop! No Xander isn't going to die!" She paused for a second, "As long as he doesn't touch my baby sister he isn't going to die. No it wasn't that kind of dream."

Now the redhead just looked confused, "Huh? Well what other kind of dream could you have that would make you..."

"It was a sex dream..." Buffy rushed out and closed her eyes so she couldn't see Willows reaction. After a few seconds she opened her eyes slowly to find Willow still looking confused.

"Is that all?"

"All? What do you mean 'All?'" Buffy half shouted.

"Well I mean...I have them all the time so I just assumed..."

The blond shook her head, "No that isn't normal, at least it's not normal for me. Xander is like a brother to me, I shouldn't be dreaming about him like that... Especially when I don't even have enough experience to know what half of the stuff we did was..."

"Oh juicy! Tell me all about it!"

"No! No, I just want to forget it ever happened! It was way intense and I don't really want to dwell on it."

"But...if it was good, why wouldn't you want more of it?" Willow asked, still clearly confused.

"Listen! Just because you and Dawnie are on the Xander-wagon doesn't mean the rest of us are. I don't think of him like that and if he had any clue I had a dream about him it would get his hopes up again. I don't want to mess up our friendship like that again."

Willow sighed in defeat, "Fine, but by avoiding him you will just make him think about what could be wrong, and he's a lot smarter than he pretends to be."

Buffy pouted, "You really think he could figure out I had a dream about him just by me not talking to him?"

"I think that might be his first thought actually, quickly smushed down into his 'stop-thinking-about-that' chest and then he will look for other reasons. But we used to play Sherlock Holmes and he knows that when you eliminate all other possibilities, whatever remains, no matter how unlikely, is the most probable answer."

"You were Watson weren't you?"

Willow smiled, "I always though he was the brains behind the operation anyway."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So what are you looking for anyway?" Dawn asked.

They had driven Rory's borrowed '57 Chevy Bel Air back to his junkyard/scrapheap and for the last thirty minutes they had been walking around looking for serviceable vehicles. Rory was good about fixing up what he got in for resale on the side, but everything he had was priced out of Xander's price range even with a deep family discount. Part of the problem was that, like the Bel Air, if it was worth fixing it was worth doing right, and Rory was heavy into restoration.

That meant most of what was left in the bone-yard was barely passable, let alone serviceable but Xander was determined, and so Dawn was determined to help him find his jalopy. "So, you have any interesting dreams lately?"

Xander shook his head for a moment at the strange change in subject and looked at her, "To be honest, I'm barely eighteen and male, I have lots of interesting dreams." He suddenly thought better of this conversation, "None of which I'm discussing with you."

Dawn smiled up at him, "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

Xander tripped and fell flat on his face, "XANDER!" Dawn squeaked as she went to her knee's beside him.

"Ow...wow!" Xander forgot his pain as his eyes fell upon a faded yellow license plate still proudly displaying 'CQB 241' and the number 58 in the corner on a rusted and half crushed grill. "No way!"

"Huh?" Dawn was completely lost now and stood up with him looking confused.

"No freaking way did Rory miss this." Xander was a man on a mission, he began moving discarded bumpers and car doors out of the way. His smile got wider as more of the...car was revealed. As far as Dawn was concerned it was just another hunk of junk, like the thirty or so they had already passed up.

"58 Plymouth Fury...beat to hell but..."

"Xander what are you talking about?" Dawn asked him.

He made his way back to the drivers side door and wiped dirt off the window so he could see inside. "It's not bad, cracked and faded but not bad..."

"I am not moving until you tell me what has you so excited!" Dawn shouted at him.

"What?" He looked up at her and grinned, "Dawnie I think this could be the find of the century! Its a Fury!"

Dawn looked at him incredulously, "And this is a good thing?"

"Oh man this could be the best thing to happen to me in a long time, hell this might be the best thing Sunnydale has ever done for me!"

"Right...so I should go get your uncle then?"

"Yeah and...Holy crap the keys are in it! Tell him to bring gas!" He then went back to clearing the car off with that grin permanently on his face. After a few more minutes work he stepped back and looked upon the dented and faded red muscle car. On headlight was busted out, but it was doubles so there were still 3 which might work. No radio antenna, a broken rear window, a crack in the windshield, flat tires but it was STILL one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen.

Dawn came around the corner with Rory grumpily lugging a gas can, which he promptly dropped upon seeing Xander's find. The younger mans eyes lit with amusement.

"I don't...I never...there is no way you found that in here!" Rory said with a stutter.

"Ah but I did, now are you gonna welch on me or what?"

Rory looked like he might cry but he shook his head in defeat, "No, I told you a hundred bucks for anything you could find back here and I'll stick to it. I just... There is no way I bought a Fury and dumped it back here!"

Xander shrugged as he handed over the money with a grin, "I guess it appeared magically then..." He narrowed his eyes at that and glanced at Dawn who shrugged. "In any case, lets see how much work I gotta do here.

Xander opened the drivers side door softly, smiling when it barely even squeaked, and reached under the dash to pop the hood. He then walked around to the front of the car and opened it up to see what had to work with.

"Rory...you think you might have been drinking or something when you bought this?"

"Why? Is it that bad?" Rory asked as she shambled over.

Xander's smile made his eyes sparkle, "Um no...not exactly."

The engine didn't look new by any means, but aside from some cosmetic issues and dirt the car might as well have just pulled in. Xander had a very good feeling until he noticed how old the battery was. It was cracked and had leaked all its fluid out. Rory seemed to notice the same thing as he turned away from his great shame. "I'll grab the toolbox and a spare battery, I can't believe I'm saying this but you might be able to drive her home..."

Dawn was happy for him, she couldn't remember seeing Xander so happy...ever really. He looked like a little boy in a candy store who was just told it was buy one, get three free. "So its all good?"

"Oh man, it looks like someone literally just drove her in here and left her. And by 'just' I mean like a few months ago, not 40ish years. I think Rory might be right, I'm taking her home today!"

Rory came back around the corner pulling a dolly with his toolbox and a battery on top. Xander immediately got to work on removing the bolts holding in the old battery which, despite appearances, were a bit rusty. But soon he had the batteries swapped and had poured the two gallons of gas into the tank. He then headed for the drivers side again and climbed in.

"Careful there Xander, despite how she looks its been a long time since she started up. Give her a few seconds to prime the fuel injection."

Xander nodded and turned the key to the on position but not the start position, then back off again a few seconds later. "Sounds good Xander, crank her up and lets see what we've got to work with!" Rory called to him.

Xander turned the key and the engine turned right over, and kept running without even needing to pump the accelerator. He just sat there in shock, listening to the purr of the motor and trying to discern anything that might be amiss. After a minute he leaned out of the door and looked at the equally shocked face of his uncle. He climbed out of the car and practically tackled the older man. "You are the best family member EVER!"

Rory was looking around now, noticeably uncomfortable, "Now now...why don't you limp her over to the garage and we'll get her up on jacks. Even if there's nothin' else wrong she needs new tires..." He was gently patting Xander's back the whole time.

Xander let go and smiled as he headed back to HIS car. He climbed in and waited til Rory had gathered up the toolbox and was trundling back before he gently put the car into gear and let it roll forward. It was a rather bumpy ride, but all things considered it was still an amazing experience. Once the passenger door was clear Xander leaned over and popped it open, still amazed he hadn't found anything wrong with the car besides the cosmetics. "You coming?"

Dawn grinned as she hopped in, before she started coughing at the dirt an dust cloud that her motion sent up. She gave Xander a thumbs up since she couldn't talk, before quickly rolling down the window. Xander then slowly idled the car through the junkyard and into Rory's garage where his uncle waited, still clearly disbelieving this could be happening to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Across town Buffy and Willow were walking toward the coffee shop, discussing the important stuff that happens in Sunnydale. Nothing so vapid as drooling over some old cars.

"Alright so spill, you and Oz are all better now right?"

Willow blushed but nodded, "We're fine...since that night before we blew up the mayor."

"And now you get to have steamy sexiness whenever you want right?" Buffy asked with a grin.

"I guess..."

"What do you mean you guess. You guys love each other, and you already took that step so it's not like anything is holding you back. Oh! Unless there is something to do with his wolfiness stuff?"

"No, no wolfiness. Well except he might be a little bit more protective of me, and of course we can't do anything for three nights a month during the full moon, I've been trying to adjust my body to match but its harder than you'd think."

Buffy shrugged, "I guess I wouldn't know. Ever since I started slaying I haven't seen Aunt Flo at all. Coach told me it was just my athletics, but that was when I was cheer leading at my old High School. I guess slaying every night is a workout."

"But that shouldn't be enough of a workout to stop that from happening...maybe it's the stress?"

"Maybe."

"So you're honestly telling me you haven't had a period in four years?" Willow said in disbelief. "That is so not fair!"

Buffy smiled as she turned into the Espresso Pump and got in line at the counter, "Perks of being the Slayer I guess."

They both ordered and then took their caffeinated goodness to the corner booth where they could people watch the main street of downtown Sunnydale. It wasn't much but it beat staring at fresh graves during patrol.

"So you doing okay?" Willow asked after a bit.

"Fine, why?"

Willow waved a hand around for a second, searching for the right words, "You know, since Angel left."

The Slayer shrugged, "I miss him a lot, but I kinda understand why he had to leave..."

"Yeah, the whole turning-evil-after-sex thing sucked."

"Yeah..."

"So does that mean you and he only...the one time?" Willow said quietly.

"You know it was only the once! 'One perfect moment of happiness' and Angel the sexy vampire with a soul becomes Angelus the soulless mass murderer. Not exactly looking for a repeat performance."

"But you miss him.."

"Yeah... Which is why you have to fill me in on the details! I'm living vicariously through you here so spill!"

The redheads eyes went wide, "I, I, I, I mean...there's not much to tell...we just...do it!"

"You just do it? What does that even mean? This isn't a Nike commercial!"

She shrugged, "Well I mean...its just, tab A into slot B and make with the happy time right?"

The blond looked confused and sad for a moment, "I think there is more to it than that..I mean I was too caught up at the time with Angel to take notes but it was really nice...and then that dream..."

"Ah Ha! Now you get to spill! So what was so special about this Xander-dream?"

Buffy quickly hushed the redhead and looked around, "Would you keep it down, who knows what ears are around here..." She took a breath, "Alright, so we came back after a patrol and he needed a shower because he didn't want to get yelled at by his parents for waking them up, but then there weren't any towels in the bathroom...so I took him a towel..."

Willow was leaning forward on the edge of her seat, "And then we somehow ended up in the shower together...and...wow...I didn't know you could do it standing up like that!"

"You can do it standing up?"

"Apparently, maybe...I don't know. But then he carried me to my room and we did it like 5 more times before I passed out, or woke up, or whatever... If it wasn't Xander I'd say it was the hottest thing I have ever done."

"Done?" Willow asked in confusion.

"Seen, I mean seen, of course we didn't actually DO anything...I don't think about Xander like that..."

Willow smiled and wiggled in her seat a little bit, "Apparently part of you thinks about him like that."

"Will!"

"What? I'm just saying..."

Buffy hung her head and sipped her iced mocha, "I need a new boyfriend."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

As dusk was setting in a beat up but almost entirely functional Plymouth Fury pulled up in front of the Summers household, with the driver still grinning like mad. Dawn promptly got out of the car and waited for Xander to join her but he simply sat behind the wheel...caressing the dash. "Alright baby, I gotta go inside for a little while but I promise I'll be back okay?"

Dawn huffed and resisted the urge to stomp her foot, "Xander!"

"What?" He asked, looking up from the still glowing instruments.

"Don't you think we should head inside? We didn't eat anything but bologna sandwiches at Rory's and I'm tired and sticky and dirty! You are too, I think we should get inside and take a shower."

Xander raised an eyebrow in response to that, waiting for her to catch on.

Right on cue she turned red and began babbling, "Uh..I mean we should take showers, SEPARATE showers!"

Xander turned off the lights and pulled the key out of the ignition, and got out of the car with a smile. "Are you sure that's what you really want Dawnie?" He asked quietly.

She squeaked as her eyes went wide, then turned and bolted for the house. Xander chuckled to himself as he addressed the car. "Now you be a good girl, don't worry about that. I wasn't really flirting with her, I was just getting her back for the other night."

His hand trailed along the roof, and down the pillar to the trunk where it followed the line up the fin and he reluctantly lost contact with his car as he walked toward the house. He was met at the porch by Buffy and Willow who looked angry and worried in that order. "Just what did you do to my baby sister Mr. Harris?" Buffy asked.

"Payback. I promise I didn't do or say anything inappropriate!"

Willow looked past his shoulder since it appeared there wouldn't be any immediate violence. "So you got a car?" She asked excitedly.

"Yep!" His eyes lit up, "Wanna see before the street lights come on?"

"Sure!" Willow walked right past Buffy and toward the car, Buffy still stood there with a cross look on her face.

"What?" Xander asked.

She shook her head, "You shouldn't be teasing my baby sister."

Xander wasn't in any mood to fight with Buffy at the moment so he let it drop, "You're right, but it's fun to turn it around on her every now and then. Like I said, I didn't do anything inappropriate and I won't be any time soon."

"What does that mean?" She asked accusingly.

Xander took a step back and held his hands up, "Nothing! I mean Dawnie is sixteen now, but someday she's gonna be older and you never know what might happen. I don't have any plans to ever date her, I mean she's like a sister to me! Just saying, things might change and I'm not gonna make you some promise now that you can kill me for later."

The 'like a sister' comment caught the blonde up short, she loved Xander like a brother and that didn't stop her...at least some part of her from thinking of him like that... "Fine, I understand."

Xander had a retort ready to let fly and was brought up short, "Huh?"

"I said I understand, just be careful. Dawn really likes you and if you tease her like that you might really hurt her feelings."

"I know..sorry okay?"

Buffy nodded and stepped into a Xander-hug, then sighed as Xander turned toward the car and they walked with his arm around her shoulders and hers around his waste. Willow was standing with the passenger door open looking into the car with a questioning look on her face.

"So what you think Wills?" Xander asked, happy to be back near his precious.

"Kinda...dirty isn't it?" Willow asked trying not to be mean.

Xander waved off her concern, "Oh I just haven't given her a bath yet, who knows how long she was sitting in that scrap yard accumulating dust and dirt and rust. I just know she'll clean up nice!"

"She?" Buffy asked, "Why do men always feel the need to refer to their toys as female?"

Xander unhooked his arm from Buffy and smiled as he walked around the car to the driver side, once again caressing her from fin to windshield. "Because we like beautiful things and its fun to pretend its female, when it can't talk back and does everything you tell it to do?"

Willow slammed the passenger door, "Just for that mister I'm not talking to you!"

"Oh no! Not the Willow silent treatment!"

Buffy asked, "Willow silent treatment? Is that different than regular silent treatment?"

The redhead nodded, "You bet it is!"

"Willow I'm sorry, please please forgive me?"

Willow simply shook her head and walked off making a locking motion to her lips and putting the 'key' down her shirt. Buffy looked to Xander for an explanation.

"She used to do that to me and Jessie all the time, once you get used to Willow-babble you'd be amazed what an absence of it will do to mess with your head."

Buffy nodded, "I can see that...so how long does it usually last?"

"Well, normally she can't make it more than 10 minutes but I'm about to home and clean out my parents garage so I can work on my baby."

"Which means?"

Xander started the engine and Buffy was pleasantly surprised by the steady purr. "Which means you will probably have a panicked Will on your hands when she realizes I didn't come in behind you. Tell her I'll call when I get home so she can apologize."

"So she can apologize?"

"Yep."

"For giving you the silent treatment?"

Xander nodded, "Uh huh."

"Because you made a butt head sexist male jerk remark in regard to your female car?"

"Exactly!"

Buffy sighed, "I'll never really understand you two will I."

"Sure you will Buff. You just need another 10 years or so to catch up. It'll be like you were in Sunnydale since birth too!"

"Joy." She said sarcastically.

"See ya later...and if Dawn looks upset tell her I'm sorry and I'll see her later okay?"

"Alright. Bye."

With that Xander put the car in gear and drove off.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: **_Joss or whoever he sold the rights to owns the Buffyverse, Icha Icha is owned by Jiraiya who in turn is owned by Kishimoto, Christine belongs to Stephen King and me...I own nothing apparently or I wouldn't be writing fanfiction._

**_Note: _**_Lemons get more citrusy...citrusee.. The lemons get more detailed starting now, just a reminder that this is not for little eyes._

Icha Icha Sunndale: Chapter Two

"Hey." Oz said as he walked out of the book cage wearing only a towel.

It had been a full moon the night before so he was locked up for safe keeping in the High School library as usual. It was unusual for Buffy to be the one to unlock the cage for him, but nothing really noteworthy.

"Hey." Buffy replied, there was something off in her tone, and she wasn't looking at him.

He stepped into her line of site and tried to catch her eye, but she was trying to fight a blush. "Did I do something wrong?"

She shook her head shyly but still wouldn't look at him as she spoke. "I just...never noticed how um...attractive you are."

"Oh." Oz said without much reaction, typical for him.

"And I've been so alone since Angel left..."

"I can see that."

She finally looked up into his eyes and smiled shyly, blushing at her admission, "I- I want you."

And Oz once again reacted in a typical fashion for him. "Cool."

"Really?"

In answer he dropped the towel and pulled her toward him and into a passionate kiss. She melted into his arms and was soon panting with desire. His fingers made quick work of her blouse and bra and he attacked her breasts with abandon. He took first her left nipple into his mouth while his fingers aroused the other one causing the pink skin to pucker up around the base as it began to stand erect. Then reversed positions taking the nub of her right nipple into his mouth and savoring the salty clean taste of her skin.

He then pushed her into a sitting position on the table where they did their best research on things that go bump in the night, directly above the Hellmouth. Buffy found it somewhat fitting that her first lover had been a vampire, and her second would not only be a werewolf, but they would consummate their relationship on the mouth of hell.

She heard him moaning her name, "Buffy... Buffy..." and responded by saying his name as well through her panting. She could feel his manhood warm and stiff against her opening through the thin silk of her panties...

"Buffy. BUFFY!"

"WHAT?" She shrieked as she sat up in bed and stared at her little sister. She was still panting and highly aroused and it took her a moment to figure out where she was.

"Are you okay? I thought you were having a nightmare, we do share a wall." Dawn asked her quietly, clearly worried for her sisters state.

Buffy put a hand to her head and forced herself to calm down, and to stop panting, "Yeah...it was just a dream..."

"You sure? It wasn't a vision or anything was it?" Dawn asked in alarm.

What was it with everyone assuming she was vision-girl again all of a sudden. Giles she could understand but the others used to let her decide what was a vision and what wasn't. "God I hope not." She muttered.

Dawn took in a sharp breath, "Was it that bad?"

"Really bad, like I can't talk about it bad..."

"You can talk to Willow though..." Dawn said looking away. "You talk to Willow about everything."

Sighing, Buffy pulled her sister into a hug, "Hey, I talk to Willow about some stuff because if it's related to the Hellmouth she's been doing it longer, and if its girl stuff...well she's the same age as me. But I'll try to remember you're here for me too okay? You remember that also, you can talk to me about anything. You know that right?"

"I know...can I talk to you about Xander?"

Buffy fell back on her pillow and sighed. "Not right now okay? Anything but boys right now."

Dawn frowned but accepted the dismissal, "Yeah okay, you sure you're gonna be alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Dawnie. Just a bad dream."

"Cool. I guess I'll see you in the morning then?"

Buffy nodded and smiled, "Yeah see you in a few hours, thanks for waking me up."

Dawn got up off the bed and spoke over her shoulder as she exited the room, "No problem, that's what sisters are for right?"

Once the door was closed Buffy put the pillows over her head and screamed. Seriously, if she was dreaming about Oz of all people she REALLY needed to get her own boyfriend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow woke up and stretched out before laying her head back down on her boyfriends chest, as was usual he had woken up before her and was smiling down at her. "Hey."

"Hey." She said with a sleepy smile.

Oz hugged her closer, "You sleep well?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I always sleep better with you here."

She snuggled into him and sighed in contentment. "So, you have any nice dreams?"

"Dunno, I think I did but it's all jumbled by the time I wake up. I don't usually remember my dreams anyway. What about you?"

Willow smiled and thought about the dream she'd had the night before...then sat up suddenly. Oh God!"

Oz raised one eyebrow and waited for her to confess whatever it was that was bothering her.

"I...had another Xander dream..." She looked like she was going to cry so he pulled her back to him and hugged her.

"Shhhh, it was just a dream right? Not like we can control who we dream about. Was it good at least?"

Due to her state of dress, he could see her blush went well below her neckline, "Maybe..."

"Would you be mad at me for dreaming about another girl?"

"Not as long as it's just a dream."

"Exactly. So how about we get some coffee before I head to Jim's for band practice and forget all about it?"

"I don't deserve you."

"Nah, I don't deserve you."

With that they kissed before Willow pulled away, "Ew, morning breath. I call dibs on the bathroom."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander was too excited to stay in bed, he had work to do on HIS car today and he was really looking forward to it. So he was up and out of the basement as the sunrise lit the sky. He opened the garage and squeezed his way to the driver side door, where he had to shimmy into the open window. Finally seated he spoke.

"Morning babe. Sorry about the tight fit, but it was all I could do last night to make room. We'll get that fixed eventually so you have your own room. Trust me though, sleeping here was better than the basement, play your cards right and I might even sleep out here with you."

He started the engine and slowly backed her out of the garage into the driveway. He then shut her off and hopped out of the car to retrieve the cleaning supplies he'd stashed by the deep sink in the corner, and brought them back.

"Lets see what we can do for you then, after we pretty you up a bit we can head over to the car wash and vacuum up the rest. I can't wait to show you off, make all the guys drool and all the girls jealous."

Over the next two hours Xander cleaned the windows and wiped down the dash and the vinyl of the seats. He was very happy to find that the radio was working though it seemed to be stuck on an oldies station. Actually he decided that the sounds of the 50's worked well with the car and wasn't even sure he would worry about fixing it. Finally he stepped back and actually looked at what he'd done and whistled to himself. "Man I love you, how did a guy like me ever get so lucky?"

He hopped back into the front and headed to the car wash with the windows down and the radio up. He got admiring looks from a few guys but none of the girls gave him a second glance. "That's alright baby, they don't know you like I do." He knew he was being stupid, talking to a car, but it just felt right somehow.

"So I had another juicy dream last night, remember I told you about that Buffy dream? Well it's no big deal really, I mean I've had dreams about her since she got to Sunnydale but they aren't normally this intense. Well the strange thing is last night I had a Willow dream of all things. I didn't dream about Willow even when we were together. Well not really together you know, I mean the fluke happened, but we weren't exactly a couple. Anyway, it's my own fault I suppose for having such hot friends."

The car started to sputter and the engine died and Xander panicked a bit as he pulled over to the side of the road. "What's wrong? You were running so well!"

He popped the hood and got out of the car to check for any visual reason she might have died on him. With nothing better to do he continued talking. "Nothing's changed, I wonder if you had some crud in your gas tank from sitting so long? We'll have to see about cleaning that out somehow, lets see here..." He pulled the air filter out and examined it, and found it absolutely filthy. "Man, I'm sorry babe, I should have checked this before we ever left Rory's. I promise if you'll start up I'll buy you a new one today."

Slamming the hood he hopped back into the car and tried the ignition again, it sputtered but didn't turn over. "Come on baby, who's my pretty girl? You gonna be a good girl for Xander? Hmm? You know your my best girl, none of those others understand me the way you do."

He tried the engine again and let out a whoop of joy when it turned over and she started purring again. "Yeah! That's my beautiful girl! Buffy doesn't know what she's talking about, you are SO a female car, just have to treat you right and everything will run smooth, isn't that right?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Morning Dawnie." Buffy said brightly as she poked her head into her sisters room, "Watcha doin today?

The lump in the bed mumbled something, "Whats that?" Buffy asked.

The pillow came away from her head, "I said, I was planning on sleeping in today since someone woke me up in the middle of the night."

Buffy looked at the clock, "It's ten in the morning little sister, I think that qualifies as sleeping in. Now up up up you go!"

"What's got you so cheery this morning?"

"Well...we hadn't exactly had any quality sister time in a while, and after last night I figured maybe it was time we made some."

Dawn opened a single suspicious eye, "Yeah?"

"Yeah, so I thought we could go see a movie or something."

Dawn popped out of bed with a smile on her face, "Can we get ice cream first?"

"Rocky Road with hot fudge on top." Buffy said with a nod.

"You already hit the shower right?" Buffy nodded again, and was nearly bowled over by her determined mini-me.

Twenty minutes later the pair were headed out the door. "So tell me again why we have to walk everywhere? I mean, Sunnydale is small but its not THAT small. Doesn't the slayer budget allow for a transportation allowance or something?"

"Well, for one me and the council don't exactly get along. For another they've been watching slayers since before cars were invented and it probably never occurred to them. And for three, I doubt Giles would let me have the keys anyway."

"Neither would mom I take it?"

Buffy frowned, "She's still upset about that band candy incident. I think I took pretty good care of the jeep during all that ruckus all things considered."

"$1200.00 in repairs later and I can sorta see where mom is coming from."

"Yeah, I guess a jeep just isn't a good Slayermobile, need something sturdier."

Dawn grinned, "Yeah, like a tank."

Buffy caught her in a headlock and proceeded to noogie her, "Hey Hey! No fair using Slayer-strength on me!"

"You knew I was the Slayer before you got into it with me, I say it's your fault for writing checks your body can't cash." Buffy said as she released her sister.

Dawn quickly went about setting her hair right again and glared at Buffy. "So anyways... are we gonna do the sister-talk thing now? Its a good ten minute walk into town."

Buffy sighed, "Alright, you had a certain subject you wanted to talk about...I suddenly can't recall..."

"Xander."

"Something about a boy..."

"Would you stop it! I want to talk about Xander!"

She sighed again and steeled herself, "Alright shoot. What do you want to talk about referring to Xander?"

"Alright, so look. I'm totally in love with him and you know it. And every time I try to give him up and finally stop thinking about him that way he does something sweet and noble or funny..."

"Or breathes," Buffy said with a sarcastic eye roll earning her a smack on the shoulder.

"Stop it! Anyway, it doesn't matter how hard I try, I can't stop loving him. It's not just some little girl crush anymore Buffy."

Buffy shook her head, "Careful sis, to me it sounds like your in stalker territory."

"I'm not a stalker." Dawn pouted, "Besides, does it count if the stalkee likes it?"

"Look...I'm not saying you don't have a chance, and I'm not saying Xander isn't probably starting to see more than just 'little Dawnie" when he looks at you. But I am saying he's too old for you at least for now."

"Says the girl who boinked the ancient one."

"And that turned out SO well that you want to mimic me? I love Angel, but I made a bad decision. Also, you forget I have this whole 'One girl in all the world' destiny thing going on and I risk my life on a regular basis... I needed to feel alive and Angel was there for me."

Dawn was the one who sighed this time, "I do understand okay, it just doesn't seem fair. And the stupid laws in this stupid state mean no matter that EVERY teenager turns into a walking hormone we aren't allowed to even touch one another that way, let alone someone who is ALSO a teenager but just happens to be some arbitrary magical number of years old..."

"Dawn look..."

But she was cut off, "No you look, I know what my body wants but I can control that just fine...but my heart wants to be held by him, to cuddle with him on the couch during a movie and know it means more than just friends, to be able to hear him tell me he loves me the same way I love him. It doesn't have to be 'sexual' at all..."

Buffy stopped and turned toward her sister, "Look, I do understand okay, I was there once not very long ago. The law isn't written to punish teenagers doing things together, it is to keep girls your age from getting pregnant in junior high, also something I didn't have to worry about with Angel. And as you pointed out, I was seventeen."

"That's what mom said too. Like a year or two will change anything." Dawn allowed sadly.

"Then why don't you wait?"

"Only a little more than one thank you, I'll be seventeen in four months if you remember."

"Fine, wait a little over a year and see how things work out. But you have to realize that when you turn seventeen he is going to be twenty, and when you turn eighteen he's gonna be twenty-one years old. The age difference isn't going to go away, and he might find someone who doesn't come with all the restrictions in the meantime."

"It's not fair." She said petulantly.

"Life's not fair sometimes, if it's meant to be it will work out."

"Is that what you tell yourself about Angel?"

"Yeah..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander had just finished using the Armor-All on the interior of the car, making it all black and red and shiny again much to his delight and was preparing to give her that much needed bath he'd talked about when a shadow fell across his back.

"I'm about to move if you want this vacuum, just give me a sec alright?"

"Nice Car."

The hairs on the back of Xander's neck went up at the voice and he tried to turn around but was promptly hit over his head and knocked out. As he hit the ground he saw several pairs of feet before everything went black. His last thought was, "This is gonna leave a mark."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Xander," The voice sounded pretty far away but familiar. "Xander don't be dead!" That voice sounded younger, but just as familiar as the first. He groaned to let the voices know he could hear them, and then his body told him he'd had the stuffing beat out of him. His first words upon waking up were...

"My Car!"

His eyes opened to find a very annoyed looking Slayer and a very worried looking Dawnie, both whom he was afraid were about to hit him. "What the hell are you thinking Xander! Wake up after a mugging and your first thought is about that stupid car?" Buffy asked him.

He spotted broken glass on the ground and began crying, "Oh baby...they beat you up before they kidnapped you? Why would anyone do this?"

"Think you can stand up?" Buffy asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, a bunch of husky guys ain't got nothing on vampire fledglings. I've had worse." They each put an arm over their shoulders and helped him stand up, at which point he winced at a pointed pain in his side. "Feels like they kicked me, bruised not broken I think."

"Why would anyone want to steal that hunk of junk?" Buffy asked now that she had been reassured that Xander was going to be alright.

"Buffy! Now you're worried about the car and not the owner? You're both nuts!" Dawn shouted.

Xander and Buffy both shook their heads, "Nah," Xander said. "Bumps and bruises come with the territory, I trust Xander to tell me if he's actually hurt or not after three years of patrols."

"Then why can't he walk by himself?" Dawn asked with a victorious tone.

Xander smiled, "I have my arms around a pair of drop dead gorgeous Summers girls, I'm not complaining."

Buffy quickly dropped his arm from her neck and stepped away, "Fine then, I guess you can just walk to the police station by yourself."

"Wait!" He said hanging off of Dawn and nearly dragging her to the ground with him. "Okay so maybe I'm not THAT okay, just need a little while more. I'm not hurt but I might have a slight consuction..."

"Concussion?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah, one of those too."

Buffy quickly grabbed his arm again and helped him stand up, "I can't tell if you are slurring your words on purpose to get attention, or if you are actually hurt. Giles lives near here so we can go there and check you out, then you can call the police. If he doesn't say anything about a concussion I swear I'll give you one. Got it mister?"

Xander tried to salute with the arm that was around Dawn, only succeeding in squishing her face closer to his and causing him to blush. "You got it Cap'n."

Dawn recovered a bit and was able to remark, "Now I can't tell if he's delirious or just being a smart ass?"

The sisters looked at each other for a second before saying in synch, "Smart ass!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

The knocking on the door brought Giles attention away from his current task, perusing the want ads in today's paper. After all, his cover as the High School Librarian didn't do him any good either physically or monetarily what with the school having been blown up and subsequently burned down during the graduation ceremony.

He got up from his comfy chair and headed for the door, where the knocking had picked up unceasingly once more. Finally he wrenched the door open with a few sharp words on his lips when he caught sight of Xander. "Oh dear lord...well come in, come in!"

"You know better G-man...what if we'd been vamps?"

Giles gave him a stern look, "You'll have to forgive me for not worrying about vampires in broad daylight, none of you appear to be on fire after all."

The girls hefted Xander over to the couch where he gratefully sunk into the semi-rigid and very British feeling cushions. Dawn sat with his head in her lap, playing with his hair and looking for signs of blunt force trauma, Buffy on the matching love seat. Giles soon returned with the first aid kit and waited, knowing the story would come out, and he could get the details of just what needed attention on the boy first.

"Xander got mugged." Dawn blurted out.

"Mugged?" Giles asked, in all his time in Sunnydale he hadn't had to deal with anything quite so...pedestrian.

"Carjacked is more like it, a bunch of guys came up behind me, knocked me over the head, apparently kicked me around a bit and beat my car up before stealing it too."

"You got a car?" Giles asked curiously as he started taking supplies out of the kit.

As well as they could through the pain, Xander's eyes lit up, "Oh yeah, and man she was sweet!"

"What model did you end up with? I know you were going for...I believe you used the term 'classic' in reference to anything you could find at the local junk."

"Red, 1958 Plymouth Fury with a 315 fuel injected motor."

"Oh my!" Giles eyes too lit up, it was an American classic but it was still a classic, famous even in the UK.

"Boys! Can we please concentrate on the injuries and THEN talk about the car?" Buffy asked in annoyance.

"Oh, yes. Quite right." Giles quickly got to work opening the iodine and beginning to clean the open wounds he could see on Xander's face. "Tender anywhere else?" He asked.

"Back of my head hurts where they knocked me out...felt like wood not a tire iron thankfully, or I might not have woken up. Other than that the third rib down on the left side feels like it's bruised, but not broken. The rest is just general 'got beaten up' stuff I'm used to by now."

Giles pulled a pen light out of the kit and held it up before turning it on, "Look here at my ear, not at the light."

Xander tried to focus beyond the light and then repeated with the other ear. "Are you feeling dizzy?"

"Yeah, it felt like I couldn't keep my feet under me earlier but I bet I could walk fine now, they rang my bell but I don't think they scrambled anything too badly."

"Well you appear to have a slight concussion, just to be safe I think we'll need to have you lie down for the rest of the day and keep an eye on you to make sure you don't need to go to the hospital. Otherwise, I think you need a shower and we need to tape your ribs or it will be painful just to breath while standing up."

"How about I shower first, then we tape the rib."

Dawn looked really worried for her man, "Xander don't you think you should tape it first, he said it might be hard to breath!"

Xander sat up with a groan and swung his legs around before feeling the back of his head, then took a deep breath. "I think I can get a rinse in before it gets too bad, I don't feel like getting a sponge bath before he tapes me, no matter if Sister-Nurses-Spongebath is one of my all time fantasies. I'll be right back...if I can use your shower G-man?"

"Certainly, around that corner in the kitchen is my bedroom where you'll find the master bath. There are already towels hung up."

He stood shakily and took a shallow breath, "Yeah, I'll make it quick."

The girls watched him protectively as he left the room. "Is he really gonna be okay?" Dawn asked.

"I hate to say, but he's been through worse, especially when he and Willow first began patrolling with Buffy. I think we can trust his judgment on this one, but I dare say he must be watched this evening."

"Got it covered, I know mom would kill us if he didn't spend the night."

Giles removed his glasses and began wiping them with his jacket, "Thank goodness for that, I would offer to let him stay here but I only have the one bed. I'll drive you three home once we get him properly stitched up."

"Stitches?" Dawn asked, looking like she might be sick.

"A turn of phrase, I didn't see anything that would require sutures if that is what you are afraid of, though I didn't get a look at the back of his head."

Dawn looked at her lap and her fingers and found only a little bit of blood, and promptly got up and went to the kitchen to wash her hands. "Its only a little blood, that means he's okay right?"

"Yes I believe he'll live. Now tell me more about this car and the incident in question. Did you see who attacked him?"

Buffy shook her head, "Nope, they were gone when we got there on our way home from the movie. We found him curled up at the car wash. Maybe that hunk of junk looked better after he'd washed it or something."

"Well if it was simply human beings that did this I daresay they knew the model of car, or its possible it was just a target of opportunity. He seems rather put out by the loss though, how long has he had the Fury?"

Dawn sat back down to wait with them, "Only got it yesterday. This has to be killing him, he said that car might be the best thing Sunnydale had ever given him."

Buffy looked at her curiously, "Better than Willow, or me?"

"I don't think he was thinking when he said it Buffy, he was just really excited when he found it under a pile of other car parts at Rory's. Actually his uncle didn't seem to remember buying it at all so it was really fortunate for Xander that it was in good enough shape to drive home yesterday."

They heard the water turn off and waited anxiously for Xander to reappear, then heard his voice from around the corner. "Uh, G-man. You got a robe or something...I can't bend over enough to put more than my boxers back on."

Giles got up and headed that way, speaking over his shoulder. "A drivable Fury no matter how it looks on the outside was quite a find in a scrap yard. I would be rather excited myself."

"I'll admit it beats the pants off of your car." Buffy said with a smile.

Giles could be heard from the other room, "I'll have you know the Citroen was the height of 1960's luxury and elegance!"

Buffy whispered to Dawn, "Maybe 30 years ago and if it had been taken care of, Giles' looks like it was run over by a monster truck."

Giles and Xander came back into the room and the former went straight for the tape on the table. "Are you comfortable doing it in here? I can ask the girls to leave."

Dawn looked like she might be put out but Xander saved her an outburst, "Nah no problem with them seeing me topless, maybe one of them will return the favor some day."

Dawn quickly turned her head to hide her blush while Buffy simply smiled sarcastically up at him, "You're lucky you're already beat up or I'd show you how I feel about that idea."

Giles pushed up his glasses, as usual lost when it came to their American teenaged banter, "Alright then lets see what we have to work with."

Xander dropped the robe to around his waist and shakily held his arms out to the side while holding his breath. Giles prodded his right side until Xander winced a bit and quickly began wrapping the tape tightly around his torso, before long the older man was done and Xander gratefully dropped his arms and took a testing breath. "Good as new."

Dawn had turned back to see how injured her man was, and was caught looking by Xander who smiled and winked at her, she wasn't able to hide her blush this time but mercifully he didn't tease her further about it. "Guess I'll go get dressed then."

"Need any help?" Dawn asked before realizing what she'd said and promptly shutting up.

Xander waved her concern off, "I'll be fine now, not even a bit dizzy. I couldn't get my clothes back on because it hurt to breath but I'm all better now."

He turned and went back to Giles' room to get dressed, "Still, you should stay at Buffy's tonight in case that concussion is worse than I've realized."

"You've got it Giles, if that's okay with the girls." He called around the corner.

"No problem, mom would kill me and then you if I let you go home alone like that. Should we call your parents?"

He walked back in carrying his shoes and socks, "Okay so maybe I need a little help with these, but I think I'll just leave em off if I'm going to end up kicking my feet up at your place anyway. And no, my parents won't care."

"Too many questions?" Giles asked.

"No, no questions is more like it. So we going to squeeze into your deathtrap for the ride back then?"

Giles huffed, "That so called death-trap has served me comfortably well thank you, and yes though I daresay the girls will need to sit in the back this time."

"Can we walk instead?" Buffy asked dejectedly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander lay on the couch with his feet up and the remote in hand having just gotten off the phone with the Police to report the car stolen. He could smell dinner cooking and hear Giles and Joyce talking in the kitchen and Buffy and Dawn had gone to set Dawns room up for him. Dawn had tried to make the case that it was her room and so it should be she that slept in the sleeping bag on the floor in case Xander needed anything, but had been quickly overruled by the other two Summers women. Buffy would be on Xander duty and Dawn would take Buffy's bed.

A giggle was heard from the kitchen just as Buffy and Dawn came back down the stairs and they shared a look before shuddering in revulsion. "Giles better not be trying to stay the night too." Buffy said.

Dawn nodded, she didn't know all the details but she had a good idea of what had happened during the band candy incident since she'd been in the Jeep with the rest of them and seen her mother making out with 'Ripper'.

"Aw come on, old people need lovin too." Xander said with a smile.

Buffy shuddered anew, "I think mom shouldn't have let you have a codeine, you sound crazy."

"But I feel wonderful." he said before sticking his tongue out at her.

"I like drugged up Xander, he's fun." Dawn said cheerfully.

He nodded at that, and then held his head to keep it steady, "I like drugged up Xander too. So did you get hold of Will?"

"Yeah I finally got her at home, she and Oz are coming over for dinner too. She is NOT happy with you."

"Hey! It's not like I carjacked myself!"

Buffy shrugged, "Don't tell me, tell her."

Just then the front door flew open and Willow ran into the living room with tears on her face. "Xander!"

"Hey Wills, how you holding up?" he answered her.

She swatted the air near his shoulder without hitting him, "I'm sorry I gave you the silent treatment! You didn't have to go looking for a gang to beat you up to get my attention!"

He gave Buffy a 'told you so' look before looking back at Willow, "I forgive you, and I didn't go looking for trouble this time, it came out of nowhere."

"And they took your car, I'm sorry." She said with tears in her eyes.

"I already called the police and they are keeping an eye out, hopefully they are just joyriding around town."

"Yeah but when have the police in this town ever done anything useful?" Buffy asked.

Xander waved off her concern, "Nah it'll be fine I think, they get the really bad stuff taken care of quick-like thanks to Mayor Wilkins legacy. Can't have muggings and purse snatchers and litter-bugs in our fair little town now can we?"

"Right, the small stuff is what falls off the radar, you know. Murder, Rape, Necromancy and ritual sacrifice." Oz said emotionlessly.

"Exactly! So hows it hangin Oz my man?"

Oz raised an eyebrow, "I'm good, you?"

Xander shrugged, "Not bad if you discount the beating and theft of my precious possessions."

"Cool, no worries then."

Joyce entered the room smiling widely with Giles right behind her. "Hey everybody, Dinner is ready."

"Cool, who gets to drag my body to the table?"

The others all looked to Buffy who huffed, "Honestly, just because I'm strong doesn't mean I have to be the mule."

Xander gave her the puppy eyes, "Pwease?"

"You were walking just fine earlier!"

Willow joined him with the puppy eyes, "Buffy, he's hurt. You shouldn't be so mean!"

"Dang it don't do that! You know I can't resist double puppy eyes!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow was warm and cozy in Oz's bed and loving life when she felt hands running up and down her naked back in the darkness. "Mmmm...someone didn't get enough before we went to sleep?" She asked naughtily.

She felt him kiss her shoulder, "I can never get enough of you Wills."

His hand traveled from her back to her front and gently cupped a breast as he kissed the back of her neck. She could feel him hardening against her bottom even as that hand slid across her stomach and between her legs. She rolled slightly onto her back and spread her knees slightly, inviting him further in, and tilted her head up to kiss him softly.

She then felt a pair of lips on her right nipple and glanced down to see Oz there looking up at her lovingly. "Hey babe."

She made a 'Mmmmm' sound into Xander's mouth before pulling back and Xander looked down to where Oz was. "We cool?"

Oz nodded, "Yep, were cool." Then returned to his task.

Xander's fingers dipped into her center and she arched her back slightly off the bed as he pulled the moisture back up to her clit where he began making small circles and eliciting an excited gasp from her. One hand went to Oz's head where she pulled him tighter to her bosom as he sucked her nipple into his mouth, the other went to Xander's manhood and squeezed lightly, getting him to buck his hips. In response he increased his pace and she kissed him hard as he quickly brought her to orgasm and then returned to making slow circles.

She then pulled lightly on Oz's head to bring him up on her other side before kissing him softly. "Thank you."

"Whatever makes you happy babe."

She rolled onto her side to face him, removing her hand from Xander and wrapping it around Oz's shoulder to pull him into another kiss. Xander slid his hand down from her center to her thigh and lifted slightly before plunging his rock hard member into her. The rest of the night became a blur of orgasm and the two men she loved.


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: **_Joss or whoever he sold the rights to owns the Buffyverse, Icha Icha is owned by Jiraiya who in turn is owned by Kishimoto, Christine belongs to Stephen King and me...I own nothing apparently or I wouldn't be writing fanfiction._

Icha Icha Sunnydale: Chapter Four

"Xander Wake up!"

"Huh?"Xander asked from his spot in Dawns bed.

"Wake up Wake up!" Willow said trying not to bounce the bed too much.

"What is she doing here so early?" Buffy asked from the floor with a groan.

Willow turned to her best female friend, "It's almost noon so you two sleepy bodies can just get your patoodies up and outside. You really have to see this!"

"Have I mentioned that I hate that you are a morning person?" Buffy asked as she stood up.

"Yell at me later, I started the coffee pot before I came upstairs so it'll be ready when you come back in, right now you need to come outside!"

Xander rolled over, and got comfy again, "I'm injured remember, I think that means if I decide to stay in bed I get some leeway."

"Fine, if you don't want to see your car I guess it can wait." Willow said as she walked out of the room.

Xander was up like a shot, before stumbling a bit from the head rush. Buffy was quicker than he was and was there to catch him rather than watch him fall comically back onto the bed. Dawn ran into the room and saw the two of them embracing and immediately got the wrong idea. "So did Willow tell you? I hadn't looked outside all morning..." She asked dejectedly.

Buffy took in how they looked with his arms wrapped around her and quickly put some distance between them. "What the heck are you guys talking about anyway?" Buffy asked.

Xander turned to look out the window and gasped, "She's parked outside! How the hell did that happen?"

The three made their way downstairs and outside where Willow was waiting on the porch with two cups of coffee. Buffy took one and Xander tried to take the other but Dawn snagged it, "Is that decaf?" She asked Willow.

"No..." Willow said in confusion.

Xander chimed in, "Why would anyone drink decaf? Caffeine is the whole point of coffee!"

"Well with your head injury and that codeine you took last night, I'd say its better safe than sorry." She took a sip of the coffee. "Sorry for you that is, this is pretty good coffee Willow."

"Thanks!" The redhead said perkily.

Buffy clapped her hands to get their attention, "Guys, focus. The car?"

Xander walked quickly to the car and hugged the roof lovingly. "Oh baby, I was so worried!"

"Um...not to rain on the party, but how did they know where to bring the car?"

"Dunno, don't care. I'd better call the police and cancel the APB."

Buffy looked disbelievingly at him, "APB?"

"You know what I mean."

Willow leaned in toward Buffy while observing Xander actions in regard to the vehicle, and whispered, "Anybody else think the car thing has gone just a little overboard?"

Buffy nodded but Dawn had overheard them and sniffed as she stepped past them toward Xander and 'petted' the car herself. "Welcome back girl, we thought you might be a goner. Those mean nasty people who beat up our Xander didn't hurt you did they?"

"That's the spirit!" Xander said with a grin toward her. "Actually..."

He began walking around the car, looking for signs of damage that might match the broken glass he'd found at the scene. At the driver's side he paused and placed a hand on the rear triangle of glass that he was positive had been missing in the junk yard. Continuing around the car he noted the crack in the windshield was gone and all four headlamps were intact, good as new actually.

"Damn, remind me to get my car stolen more often!"

"Whats that?" Willow asked.

He pointed at the headlights nearest to him, "One of these headlights was busted when I got her, and the glass on the ground where I was jacked matched another one. But now all four are perfect and the windshield and the rear driver side glass have been replaced! She's in better condition overall than when they took her!"

Buffy frowned, "So...these carjackers must have taken her to a chop shop?"

Dawn looked more than a little dubiously at her sister, "A chop shop in Sunnydale?"

Xander chimed in, "That just happened to have parts for a 58 Plymouth?"

Willow added her two cents, "And then decided to drop the car off in front of Buffy's house where they shouldn't have had any clue you would be..."

Xander stood up straight and looked at his red haired friend, "I say Watson, mystery is afoot!"

"Indubitably Holmes, I daresay these carjacking do-gooder car repairmen must have an ulterior motive of some sort!"

Buffed raised her hand and Willow turned to look at her, "Hmm?"

"What does indubitably mean?

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander was still grumpy as they ate lunch, they wouldn't let him drive for another couple of hours which meant he couldn't do any work on his car. Meanwhile Buffy and Willow were beginning to worry a bit about him and his 'relationship' with his car, Dawn meanwhile was eagerly reading through a library book she'd picked up on auto mechanics.

"So the Dingos are playing at this place on campus later called 'Burn', I haven't actually been there but he says its nice. Plus, not 'The Bronze'." Willow said trying to steer the conversation to something a little more interesting.

"Really? I think, as future students at UC Sunnydale we have a duty to check out this club! You know, to get a feel for the undead student population, and to hear Oz play of course."

"Is she carburetted or fuel injected?" Dawn asked, completely oblivious to the conversation.

"Injected, remember when Rory told me to prime her before I started her up? That was the fuel injection you heard humming for a second before I turned her over."

"Xander!" Willow said to get his attention.

He looked up from the picture Dawn was showing him, "Huh?"

"New club on campus called 'Burn', Dingoes Playing, college girls?"

"Can I drive us?" He asked excitedly.

Buffy dropped her head to the table in frustration but Willow was willing to take the bullet if it would get him away from the car for awhile. "Yep, the first set doesn't start til seven anyway so you should be good to go by then."

"Next time Mrs. S offers me pain meds, remind me they only replace one pain for another yeah?"

"Can I go?" Dawn asked excitedly.

Buffy shook her head, "I doubt it."

Willow smiled, "Sorry Dawnie, 'The Bronze' is the only club around here that allows under eighteen and even there you have to be fifteen."

"Its a conspiracy to keep teens from having fun. Can't go listen to a friends band, can't drink, can't smoke, can't have sex."

Xander, who had been taking a drink, did a spit take at that and began talking rapidly. Buffy was mentally glad he seemed to notice Dawn was too young for such things. She was quickly disappointed though.

"Dawnie, alcohol is bad okay. Cigarettes are bad too, there's a time and place for everything, and that's College."

She stuck her tongue out at him, "Whatever Mr Mackee, the point remains. The man is keeping me down!"

"Be that as it may," Buffy said, "You can't go tonight."

"This sucks."

"Don't worry Dawnie," Xander said with a smile, "It will probably get boring real quick and I'll come back here to watch movies with you alright?"

Willow frowned, "What about us?"

He raised an eyebrow, "How were you two planning on getting there if I didn't drive?"

"Probably take the bus there, and then I was gonna go home with Oz."

"And I haven't patrolled in two days, I figure I can take the long way back through a few of the graveyards I usually don't make it to."

He smiled triumphantly at Willow, "See, no problems then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

They exited the car after parking outside the club, both girls wearing their best 'going out' outfits and making Xander look like a very lucky man. "You know, she really cleaned up nice after all." Willow commented.

"Not you too!" Buffy said in mock exasperation. "Why must we refer to the jalopy as a female?"

"Careful Buff, you could hurt her feelings and then no more rides for you."

The girls each wrapped an arm around his waist as they approached the small line that had formed outside the door, the doorman seeing the trio quickly waved them forward much to the chagrin of those in said line. "You three! Come on in!"

"Why does he get to skip the line?" One of the guys asked.

As Xander and the girls passed he overheard the doorman, "When you can manage to snag a couple of hotties, you jump the line too."

Willow was shocked and whispered to her friends, "He called us Hotties!"

"What? You didn't know you were a hotty" Xander asked.

She shook her head, "I mean, Buffy is a hotty, but I'm just plain old Willow. I normally tell the guy outside that I'm with the band to get in early."

"Trust me when I say you are regulation hotty Wills, own it."

Buffy smiled and removed herself from his side, "I'll snag a table, why don't you two get the drinks?"

"Why doesn't Xander get the drinks and I'll come with you?"

"Because hotties get preferred service at the bar too." Buffy said before ducking into the crowd.

"C'mon Wills, like I said, just own it."

They made their way to the bar to get some soda's and then wove through the crowd to get to the table where Buffy was waving them in. As they sat down Oz slid up behind Willow and sat his hands on her shoulders, "Hey."

Willow squeaked and then turned around to give him a quick kiss. "Hey yourself!"

"Hey Oz, long time no see." Xander said with a grin.

For some reason Oz was looking oddly at Xander...almost coldly as he squeezed Willow closer against his chest. Then just as suddenly as it came, it went. "Yep, hours at least."

Xander shrugged it off right away but Willow was suddenly worried and began babbling, "So Xander drove us here and with the two of us we got right in past the line, the door guy even called me a Hotty"

Oz smiled and kissed her nose, "That's cuz the door guy has good taste. I gotta go now but I'll see you after the first set. Take care of them for me right Xan?"

"Always a pleasure."

With that Oz disappeared toward the stage, "What was that about?" Buffy asked.

"I don't know! I mean...I talked to him about some stuff the other morning but he said he was fine with it, now I don't know if he's really fine with it or if he's just 'fine' with it..."

"Willow! Breath, take a drink, its just Oz being a little protective, its sweet really."

Buffy leaned in close to Willow so Xander wouldn't overhear, "He does have at least a little right to worry about you and Xander...I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just saying cut him some slack. He straightened himself out pretty quick."

"Hey Hey, no whispering you two! If you're gonna talk about me I prefer you do it to my face."

Both girls stuck their tongues out at him as the sound of the Mic coming on came across the sound system."

"Welcome to 'Burn', we're proud to bring you tonight a local talent that is going places. Ladies and Gentlemen. Dingoes Ate My Baby!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

In another part of town, a pair of headlights came on as a group of twenty something guys walked down the middle of the road. The big one squinted and held a hand with a beer bottle up to block the glare. "Hey asshole! Cut the lights or I'll cut your throat!"

The engine came on and the car came flying from the parking space toward them, "Hey, HEY! I was kiddin man! What the fuck?" He dodged out of the way as the car went flying past and skid 180 degrees to face them again and gunned the engine.

"Holy shit, ain't that the car we boosted the other day?"

"Shit, the guy that stole it back must be after us!"

The car came flying down the road again and the group scattered, the leader stood his ground playing chicken with the asshole behind the wheel. "Come on you prick! You ain't got the balls to run me down in cold blood!"

The car continued toward him and one of his friends shouted for him to move, just before he went flying up over the hood and rolled over the roof and down the trunk to land in a broken heap, dead where he fell. The car tore around the corner and disappeared.

"Shit! Johnny Johnny wake up man!"

"Leave him, lets get the fuck out of here before that car comes back!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander ended up staying through part of the second set, during the break Oz had held Willow possessively, to both Willows horror and pleasure. But he didn't say anything else untoward and help up his end of the conversation as usual. Xander excused himself from the table and headed back out to the parking lot where his car sat waiting for him.

"Hey babe, you miss me?" He asked as he unlocked the door and climbed in. "Well, that was fun, but I've got a hot date with the other Summers daughter. She's really coming along with that mechanics stuff, but then Dawn usually does well in whatever she sets her mind to. Buffy and Wills seem kinda freaked by how much I love you but you wanna know a secret?" he leaned in close to the radio and smiled conspiratorially, "I think she's falling in love with you too."

He turned the ignition and as always, felt the thrill her steady purr sent through his body. "Lets head back, I've got an argument to win over watching Star Wars or Monty Python tonight."


	5. Chapter 5

Xander shut down his light saber and approached Dawn, who was wearing a gold bikini. "Are you alright Leia?"

"I'm fine Luke, no giant worm is gonna keep me down."

"He didn't...touch you did he?"

Dawn looked away from him, "He didn't do anything that will permanently scar my psyche."

She shuddered as she remembered that Hutt tongue running along her body and Xander quickly pulled her into an embrace. "I won't let anything happen to you ever again."

Oz, in werewolf form, came in and snarled something at them, "He said we just made the jump to hyperspace and it's gonna be three days before we reach the rendezvous. We should get you into a cabin after what you've been through."

"Is Han alright?" She said referring to Buffy whom they had just rescued .

Oz barked something else at them before he turned back toward the cockpit. "He's fine, all set up in the captains quarters."

Xander led her back to an empty cabin, and turned to leave when he felt her hand on his shoulder. "Don't leave me?"

He turned back around and she hugged him close, his hands trailed across the bare expanse of skin that was her lower back and he shivered slightly. "Leia we really shouldn't be doing this..." He whispered.

In response she captured his lips in a searing kiss that curled his toes, he instinctively pulled her closer, using the force to depress the plate which activated the bulkhead door. He allowed her to maneuver him toward he bunk against the far wall.

"No Leia, really we can't do this, its wrong!"

She hushed him as she unbuckled his belt and pushed open his black Jedi robes., "Shhhh, nobody else has to know, I love you and I want you to love me...I want you ."

"But Han..."

"Will have to deal with it, I love you and there is nothing she can do about it."

"But you're my sister!"

Dawn smiled up at him as she undid the clasp holding her bra closed, "We don't know that yet silly."

Having addressed his misgivings she shrugged the bra completely off and embraced him once again, igniting that tiny ember that burned for her deep inside him into a wildfire of uncontrollable emotion. They fell to the bed as he kissed her busy hands removing clothing to allow more skin contact.

His lips trailed from her lips, down her cheek to her jawline, then down to her neck even as she used her legs to push down his pants. He trailed fingers down her side to the clasp of her metal panties, and repeated the action on the other side so that they fell away to allow him access to her.

She breathed one word into his ear, "Xander!"

"Dawn..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander woke suddenly shaking his head, "Whoa...no more hot sauce on my pizza before bedtime...Must. Take. Shower."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn rolled over in her bed with a grin on her face, the dream continuing without him. "Xander..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Xander?" Buffy asked quietly.

"Hmm?" He asked, looking up from the current demonology text he was researching.

She stood and walked around the table to stand in front of him. "Xander...why don't you love me any more?"

He was taken aback, "What do you mean Buff? Of course I love you."

She shook her head, causing her honey blond hair to cascade around her face, "Not like you used to though..."

He frowned and closed the book before standing up and hugging her, "Why don't you love me Buffy?"

"What do you mean?" She said pulling away from him. "Of course I love you!"

Now it was his turn to shake his head, "You never loved me like that, not like I loved you. I eventually had to see that and move on."

She turned away from him, "To Cordelia of all people."

"Look, Cordy and I had this really weird relationship but I think she really did love me, she'd never been with a nice guy before. Of course then I had to go and screw up."

"But Xander, there's no way one of her Jock boyfriends hadn't cheated on her before!"

He smiled, "Yeah, but she'd never really loved any of them, so it hurt less..."

"Fine, so then you picked Willow over me."

He was starting to get angry, "I didn't pick anyone over you, you made it clear you weren't interested! Willow and I have a long history and I can't believe I didn't see sooner that I loved her as more than one of the guys."

"But what about me Xander? Am I just one of the guys now?"

He turned back to her, his anger forgotten, "You'll never be just one of the guys Buff...you were my first real crush. That doesn't go away just because it didn't work out."

Buffy stepped in closer to him, looking contrite and a little scared, "Do you think...there might be a chance I could still take you up on your offer?"

He shakily put his hands on her waist, "I think there is a very good chance of that..."

She was the one to close the distance and press her lips to his, his arms went around her and drew her deeper into the kiss which ignited both of them. She disengaged and leaned into his ear, 'Take me Xander."

"Here? What if the others come in?" He asked, not pulling away.

She smiled and bent over the table, looking over her shoulder at him. "Let them see..."

He was already aroused from the kissing and the nerves, but her remark and her position instantly hardened his member the rest of the way, so much so that it was painful to keep in his pants. He took the single step needed to put himself behind her and undid his pants, sighing slightly in relief as he popped out and stood erect pointing at her rear end. She smiled coyly at him and shook her bottom.

He flipped her skirt up to find that she wasn't wearing any panties, "You were planning this?" he asked as he took in the sight of her lovely rear end, and her waiting sex pouting and weeping at him.

Her response was a sensual moan as she shook her bottom at him again, needing no further invitation he took the plunge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy rolled over as the sun shown in her window, feeling wonderful...until her dream hit her and she felt sick. "Must. Have. Shower!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giles was just reaching for the phone to inquire further as to a job at the University when said phone began ringing. Curiously he picked up the receiver, "Er..hello?"

"G-man, you busy right now?"

He resisted the urge to rub his forehead, "How many times must I ask you not to call me that infernal name?"

"At least once more than you already have G-man. So, business. You?"

"No, I am currently unoccupied and likely shall be for quite awhile."

"Cool, I'm on my way over."

Xander hung up the phone without saying goodbye and Giles wondered at the manners taught to American children. Whether the behavior was learned or simply a natural part of being an American Teenager. With a sigh he picked up the phone again and began to dial the UC Sunnydale Main Library.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giles carried the tea and the...hot cocoa into the room and sat the tray on the coffee table. "Would you like one lump or two?" Xander raised an eyebrow and Giles sighed, "Two it is, and I assume you'd like cream as well."

"And marshmallows."

"Already in, honestly what passes for respectable drinks in this country will always elude me." He finished both cups and handed Xander his now extra sweet cocoa and stirred his own tea. "Now, is this simply a social call or did you have an issue you needed assistance with?"

"What, a guy can't just come visit his favorite ex-librarian?" Giles raised his eyebrow again and waited. In his years as Buffy's watcher he had learned that simply leaving a room empty of sound would eventually cause teenagers to fill it. "Right, so it's like this. I've been having dreams..."

"And you think they might be prophetic in some way?"

"Oh geez I hope not! I mean...okay so maybe some of them would be nice but...NO No, no really I think its best for everyone involved if they never happened, and no, I don't actually believe these are visions of anything other than what my mind can come up with on its own without any help."

"Then I don't understand why you would bring your problem to me?" Giles asked in confusion.

Xander sighed as he set his cup on its saucer and got up before he began pacing, "G-man...Giles you are very much my only male role model if you don't count doing the exact opposite of what my father has ever done with his life, and my Uncle is awesome and all, but he's a drunk too...its kind of a Harris family tradition and I don't plan to follow in it, and I will never of my own volition ask Angel for advice about anything.

"So it's like this, I really need some fatherly or older brotherly type advice and you're the man I'm coming to for it." He stopped pacing and clasped his hands together, "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope."

Giles removed his glasses and began wiping them as he thought, "You know you can come to me for anything Xander, I daresay you and the girls are very much like the children I never had."

Xander nodded, "Good, so here's the thing. I've been having these dreams..."

"You've said that already."

"Yeah, so these dreams...they're um...naughty."

Giles fought down the blush he could feel building, with no male role model it should have occurred to him that nobody had ever given the poor boy 'the talk' before...but then again he had seen the relationships with Cordelia and Anya...and if anyone could have taught Xander about these things it was the thousand year old ex-vengeance demon who went around loudly proclaiming her love of orgasms.

"I'm afraid I don't follow...nocturnal emissions...er, wet dreams are a common teenage problem, I assure you they are...quite, um...normal..."

Xander plopped back down on the couch and looked at Giles, "No G, see I know all about wet dreams, up til now they were one of the high points of my life. No this is different, its like every girl I am at all close to is suddenly guest starring in my dreams, sometimes multiple times per night, sometimes multiple girls per night...though unfortunately not multiple girls multiple times per night...maybe the next one..."

Giles had his eyes closed in an attempt not to smack the boy upside the head to get him back on track, "So...you are having an unusual number of lascivious dreams of late and you think...what?"

"I don't know! I mean, it doesn't really seem demonly does it?"

"While I'm not certain 'demonly' is an actual word, I would not rule out a supernatural explanation of some sort. After all sexual energy is rather useful in any number of magical rituals and is one of the purest forms of energy which can be generated within a pair of people as opposed to calling on higher powers to allow you to borrow from them..."

"So it could be a demon?"

Giles nodded, "Or a deity, or light side creature of some sort. It isn't necessarily evil just because its sex, that is entirely a puritanical belief foisted upon the rest of the world."

"So you think we can get all researchy? I really need this to stop."

"If you will pardon me for asking, if these dreams are enjoyable and you haven't noticed any side effects, then I'm not sure I see the real problem even if it is being caused by supernatural forces."

"Aside from the increased laundry load? I...er, I've sort of been having dreams about Buffy and Willow..."

"Is that really so unusual? I find it completely understandable for someone in your position."

"And Dawn."

Giles sat back and sucked in a breath. "Oh my."

"Yeah...you got that right."

"Do you er...that is, do you find Dawn sexually attractive normally?"

Xander looked around for anything to bash over his head, but knocking himself out was not an option, it had been his idea to have this conversation after all, "Okay, up until like six months ago? No way, she's Dawnie, the cute kid sister, the Scooby sidekick to the sidekicks. But I mean...puberty has been very good for her..."

Giles cleared his throat and tried not to look uncomfortable, "I just...I don't WANT to think about Dawnie like that. Besides the fact that Buffy, you and Joyce would kill me; and besides the fact that I'd kill myself before hurting her in any way...there's the fact that she's sixteen and legally off limits in California! And even if she weren't legally off limits I STILL don't think it would be a good idea...right?"

Giles took some time to sip his tea and think things through before replying outright, thinking over his own past as well as remembering the sexual revolution which had occurred in America barely 30 years before. Finally he spoke, "Let's take the problems one at a time. One: It seems that you might not be bothered by the increase in adventuresome dreams were it not for Dawns inclusion in them."

Xander nodded and Giles continued, "Two: You believe there must be a supernatural reason for you to be dreaming about Dawn?" Another nod. "Alright, do you not think it at least plausible, that you actually DO find Dawn attractive and Would like to do those things with her?"

The boy shook his head vehemently, "Never! Its Dawnie!"

Giles sighed, "Honestly Xander, while I can not rule out supernatural reasons for your dreams, I find it much more likely that it is simply your subconscious trying to speak to you. You used to have a crush on Buffy, "

Xander made to protest but Giles held up a hand, "It was rather obvious Xander. You also had a short ill-timed relationship with Willow so you obviously have these feelings for her somewhere. I find it likely, that you have feelings for Dawn of which you are not consciously aware and they are playing themselves out in your dreams."

"But what can I do to stop it?" Xander asked, completely ignoring the last statement.

"I have a dream catcher here somewhere that was blessed by a friend of mine, if there is evil intent in whatever supernatural being might be causing these dreams then it should stop them before you are affected. Other than that, you need to know that...while I cannot necessarily condone the relationship between you two, I would understand it. It was not so long ago that I was a teenager and I did not often question the age of the girls who joined me in my bed. I had many friends whom I knew had girlfriends under the age of 17 and as long as the parents were informed nobody said anything. There will always be those who look down upon someone over the age of 18 engaging in any kind of relationship with someone younger, as if that magical number means they should simply no longer be attracted to girls who were not off limits days or months before. Unfortunately in this case, the age of consent in California is 18 and thus, you could NOT have a sexual relationship with her until she IS of age, at least not that you could let any adult know of."

Xander was a bit floored at Giles' frank dismissal of a possible relationship between he and Dawn, "How do you know the age of consent?"

Giles blushed slightly and looked flustered, "I looked into such things once I was placed in charge of a teenage girl by the council."

"Oh, right..."

"Xander, you need to examine your feelings for her and figure them out. If there is no supernatural force working on you then you have to sort this out on your own. You don't have to act on those feelings, only acknowledge them so that you can deal with them one way or another."

The teen sat in quiet contemplation for a moment before a look of horror crossed his face, "So the people in these sex dreams...if there is no outside influence...I am attracted to on some level anyway...right?"

"Possibly."

"Crap...do you think I might be gay?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joyce came home for lunch and found Dawn happily reading Harry Potter on the couch, with a large smile on her face. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

"Nothing..." Dawn said trying to hide her smile.

Joyce crossed her arms, "Dawn..."

The girl rolled her eyes, "Fine, but you remember that whole friend/mom thing we talked about?"

She nodded as she sat at the other end of the couch, "Yes I remember telling you you could talk to me without me judging you or punishing you as a parent."

"Okay, so I had this really intense dream about Xander last night, like totally real! Well...except for us being Luke and Leia in Return of the Jedi, but it was so real...he's an amazing kisser mom."

Joyce took a moment to resist rolling her eyes, and to reign in her first response. "And that is why you are smiling so much?"

Dawn nodded, "You asked, can't that be enough to make my day?"

Her mother got up off the couch and dismissed it from her mind, it really wasn't all that unusual where her youngest was concerned, "That's nice dear, just don't go trying to recreate the situation."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

A very troubled Xander was driving out to his uncle's house to do some body work on his baby when he caught flashing lights in the rear view. "Aw crap, seriously?" He said out loud as he pulled over.

After five minutes a second squad car pulled up and parked in front of him, finally he watched the cop behind him get out of the car and walk up, he rolled his window down and held out his license, title and insurance card. "Afternoon officer, how is everything?" He asked with a smile.

The officer took his papers wordlessly and handed back the title and the insurance, "Mr. Harris..."

"Please call me Xander, Mr. Harris is my dad and believe me when I say I do NOT want to be mistaken for him, especially while driving."

The cop raised an eyebrow behind his mirrored sunglasses but said nothing to acknowledge the remark. Finally Xander couldn't take any more, "Do you mind if I ask why you pulled me over? I know I wasn't doing over the limit cuz I was getting passed even if the speedometer isn't quite right. I checked the tail lights before I got in to see if I needed to replace them so I know they aren't busted, and I've never had a drop to drink, well except once when I was twelve I took a drink of my dads eggnog not knowing what was in it, I woke up an hour later with a hangover..."

"Mr Harris, a car matching this description was reported in a hit and run fatality accident last night. Do you mind telling me where you were between 7pm and 9pm?"

Xander was starting to get really worried when he saw the tow truck pull up in the side mirror. "I was at 'Burn' just off the UC Campus watching my friend Oz's band play."

"And you have someone who can verify this?"

"Besides a whole club full of people? Yeah, the band, Oz specifically, the two girls I was there with and the door man to name a few."

The officer looked over his shoulder and stepped back from the window, "Would you mind stepping out of the car sir?"

Xander got out of the car looking more and more worried, "No problem, what can I do for you?"

"I'm afraid we need to sort this out down at the station sir..."

"Am I under arrest?"

The officer looked at him sideways for a moment, "Do you need to be?"

Xander looked at his reflection in those glasses for a few seconds before he shrugged, "Just be careful with my baby, I haven't had her long and I would hate to sue somebody for messing her up. Am I riding with you then?"

"Yes sir, if you'll step this way. I'm afraid we need to impound your vehicle for the moment until forensics can take a look at it."

Xander sighed as he walked in front of the cop back toward the patrol car, his baby was starting to be a lot of trouble...but she was still worth it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy and Willow were sitting at the summers kitchen table once again talking about the important stuff. The blond was just finishing a recounting of her Xander-dream of the night before. "So it was totally amazing, and totally revolting at the same time! Why do I keep dreaming about Xander!"

"Well, I know why I keep dreaming of him..."

"Keep dreaming of him?" Buffy asked.

Willow blushed, "Okay so listen, I had this dream the other night about Xander..."

"Right, but that's not unusual right?"

"...and Oz."

Buffy's eyes went wide, "Both of them?" A nod, "At the same time?"

"Taking turns...but yeah..."

"Willow! You scarlet witch you!"

In response she turned an even darker shade of red, neatly matching Buffy's teasing nickname, "Anyway, I still love Xander, I know that, I just thought I'd moved past it, so it's not all that surprising. And I love Oz, so that's really not that big a stretch. And I figure wanting both of the guys I love to love me back and them to be okay with it is just my current fantasy."

"That doesn't explain why I'm dreaming about Xander though." Buff said with a frown.

"Well it kinda does...because see...I think it probably means you are attracted to him and just don't know it."

"WHAT? Are you crazy!"

Willow held up her hands, "No, I'm just saying. From a purely psychological point of view it makes sense."

"Ew."

"Oh come on it's not that bad. Xander is a great guy, and you are currently between guys. I think you two would make a cute couple."

Buffy raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Sure! Just think about it for a second?"

The blond thought hard about it for a minute...about how she'd felt being held, and other things, by him in her dream...and then tried to imagine actually doing it in real life..."Nope, still ew. There has to be another explanation."

"Like what? Some demon that causes sex dreams?" Willow said with a laugh. Buffy sat up straighter and her eyes met Willow's determinedly, "What?" Willow asked. "You aren't serious!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander sat in the interrogation room looking at the mirrored glass and pretending he could see the people behind it. Honestly, now that the cop shows showed how it worked everyone should assume they were being watched.

Finally the door opened and a detective walked in with a folder in his hands, "So Mr. Harris..."

"Xander, please. What is it with everyone calling me Mister anything, I only just barely graduated high school."

"Okay Xander, can you tell me where you were last night?"

Xander sighed, "I told the guy who pulled me over, I was at a club call 'Burn' on campus and you can ask the bartender, the door guy. The door guy should remember me if you take a picture and remind him I was with a blond and a redhead. You can also ask any member of the band that played last night, I'm good friends with the lead guitarist, actually that redhead I mentioned is his girlfriend."

There was a tapping on the glass and the detective excused himself from the room for a minute before coming back in, "You're free to go, we'll check out your alibi but for the moment there is no reason for us to hold you."

"If you don't mind, can you tell me what happened?"

The detective looked him over for a second before shrugging, "Hit and run, killed some guy and freaked out his friends who reported it. Some gang by the name of "Skullz" and honestly, their testimony is a little shaky anyway seeing as how they were all hopped up on drugs when they came in and most were wanted on minor assault or other charges."

Xander had to laugh and the detective looked at him a little strangely, "Mind telling me whats so funny?"

"Sorry..." he took a breath in between laughing, "You probably wouldn't understand why it was so funny even if I explained it to you...actually if I explained it to you, you'd probably think I was crazy. So...where do I get the keys to my car?"

"Oh, did I not mention? You're free to go, but the car needs to stay here for another day or two."

Xander felt like hitting his knees and shouting about the unfairness of the world, instead he simply sighed and slumped his shoulders. Is there a phone I can borrow?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn broke in on Joyce cooking dinner and Buffy and Willow sitting at the table carrying the phone. "Oh my god oh my god!"

"Dawn honey, whats the matter?" Joyce asked.

"It's Xander!" She said holding out the cordless.

"What about Xander?" Willow asked looking worried, and Buffy was right behind her in the panic department.

"Xanders in Jail!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander was tackled by Dawn, then glomped on by Willow as he followed Joyce in the door. Buffy was holding back and tapping her foot. "Glad everyone is so happy to see you, but do you mind explaining what you were doing in jail?"

Xander looked confused...and about to fall over from the weight hanging from his neck. "In jail? No I was at the police station but I wasn't in jail!" He looked down at Dawn who blushed under his scrutiny, "Dawnie, did you not explain further what I told you?"

"You didn't tell me much, you said you were at the police station and you needed to be picked up...I guess I just assumed I was your one phone call..."

Buffy rolled her eyes and Willow finally detached herself to slap Dawn on the arm lightly, "Ow!"

"Don't scare us like that!" Willow said.

"Sorry." Dawn finally looked sheepishly at the other two.

Joyce returned from the kitchen, "Well dinner is ready and there is plenty here if you want to stay Xander."

"Thanks Mrs S." he said with a smile, causing the older woman to roll her eyes before turning around.

At the dinner table he related the events starting with being pulled over and what he was now terming his, 'stint in the joint'.

"Okay seriously, stop calling it that! You weren't even behind bars..in fact, did you even see the jail cells?" Buffy asked.

"Well no...but if Dawn is going to embellish my story, then I think I get to embellish it too!"

"You know...if I didn't know any better I'd say that car is cursed." Joyce said with a smile.

"I thought the same thing for a second Mrs S, but then I remembered how she came back to me better than when she was stolen. She's not cursed, its just unhappy coincidences that happen to center around her right now."

"If you ask me her coming back to you after being stolen sounds like a no-drop curse item to me." Dawn chimed in.

"Maybe she's no-drop Blessed?"

Buffy cleared her throat, "Would you two stop geeking out on us and let Xander finish his story?"

"Anyway, while we were at 'Burn' the other night someone in an old car apparently ran down some guy and left the scene. The guys friends apparently freaked and went to the cops even though some of them were wanted and they were all high..."

Willow was the first one to start laughing, which caused Xander to start laughing again, Dawn looked confused and it took Buffy a moment to groan and drop her head to the table. Joyce finally had to ask, "Could you explain to some of us what is so funny?

Buffy turned her head without picking it up off the table, "Gangs...on PCP..." Finally having said it out loud she began laughing as well with Dawn soon joining in, having been through more than a few obituaries looking for probable fledges, all while helping Buffy figure out her patrol route for that night.

"Anytime something freaky hellmouthy happens, the police report says it was gangs on PCP mom. It's just funny that this time it actually WAS." Dawn said while chuckling along with the others.

Joyce had had enough and got up from the table, "I expect you kids to take care of the dishes and not to stay up too late even though you have nothing official to do tomorrow."

"Xander is staying here tonight if that's okay?" Buffy asked.

"I am?" He asked.

"Well, I thought we'd go patrolling and then come back and do popcorn and late-night TV. Unless you want me to walk you home?"

"No, no you're right, no reason to go home tonight."

"That's fine dear, you three have fun, Dawn I expect you to be here when they go out later."

"Awww mom!"

Buffy sniffed disdainfully, "Not like I'd let you come on patrol anyway squirt."

"But you three went on patrol when YOU were 16!"

"Yeah, me and Willow were stupid and Buffy has Slayer strength. Now we're all pro's AND adults I might add."

Buffy nodded, "Exactly, maybe when you're older."

Dawn huffed and stood up from the table, "Just for that remark you can all do the dishes without me!"


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: **_Joss Whedon or whoever he sold the rights to owns the Buffyverse, Icha Icha is owned by Jiraiya who in turn is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, Christine belongs to Stephen King and me...I own nothing apparently or I wouldn't be writing fanfiction._

Icha Icha Sunnydale: Chapter Six

There was a knock at the door and Cinderella got up to answer it without being yelled at by her sisters or stepmother. However her sister Buffy beat her to it and her stepmother smiled as she closed the door and locked Cinderella in the den.

"Good afternoon Highness." Buffy said while curtsying.

"Good after noon milady, I'm here on a mission so let us disperse with the pleasantries. You are of course aware that there was a masquerade ball last night?"

Buffy nodded and blushed, "I was there highness surely you remember...we danced twice."

Xander looked down his nose and tilted his head to the side, "I'm sorry, but I'm certain I would remember that...oh well, we must get on about our business." he turned to face Joyce, "I take it you are the lady of the house?"

Joyce curtsied, "I am your highness."

The princes footman brought in a wedge shaped, waist high piece of furniture and set it in front of the prince, his eyes widening slightly as he spotted the redhead he'd spent the night before with in a broom cupboard. The prince continued without noticing, "Last night I had the most wonderful girl of my life, slip away from me before I could reveal her identity. I am afraid the only thing I have to remember her by, is the way my manhood felt while sheathed within her velvet walls. You will present all women of marriageable age for my inspection."

Joyce's eyes widened, "Highness?"

"You heard me, unless of course you are certain that neither of your daughters are the one of which I speak?"

"No Highness, of course my daughter is the one you seek!" She clapped her hands and both Buffy and Willow lined up in front of her. "Do you have a preference for whom goes first?"

"I shall try the fair haired maiden first."

With a curtsy Buffy stepped forward and gently bent over the piece of furniture Oz had brought in for the purpose. "Is his highness certain a kiss would not suffice?" She asked.

He quickly raised her skirts over her bottom and pulled down her pantaloons. "I'm afraid not milady, the mask and the wig made it impossible for me to find her, and I simply must find the one I am in love with. Please pardon the intrusion..."

"I assure you highness it is no intrUSION!" She finished as he pressed himself into her eager sex, plunging into her a few times was enough to bring Buffy close to the edge of orgasm, but he backed out and away with a sigh.

"I'm afraid you are not the one, milady. Again, I apologize for the intrusion."

Buffy wiggled her bottom and breathlessly begged him, "Please...it was a very welcome intrusion..feel free to finish..."

Xander sneered at her bared backside, "Please step away woman, you have proven yourself little better than a common whore begging me for what I have already said is not yours."

Buffy began crying and fled the room as Xander turned his attention to the redhead, "And now I think we shall try you..."

"Wait, highness please! It could not be her!" Oz pleaded.

Xander turned to where he stood, "What is this? My man, why doest though protest?"

Oz fell to the floor and touched his forehead to it before his prince's feet, "Milord, she was with me last night, there is no way this is the girl you are seeking."

Xander considered for a moment before frowning, he whispered, "I'm sorry my good man...but I must try them all until I find her. I cannot take the word of a servant over my own experience."

"But highness!"

"No, be silent! Milady?" Willow stepped forward with eyes wide. "If you would be so kind?" He asked gesturing toward the wedge.

"Willow you do not need to do this!" Oz called to her.

She smiled at the two of them as she bent over the wedge, "I think I do, I have loved the prince since I was but a small child, surely you understand I need to at least try to make the fairytale mine?"

Xander pushed up her skirts as she readied herself, and Oz began sobbing behind him but he paid the other man no mind. Soon he sheathed himself inside her and she began moaning as Oz watched on, "Willow, you don't have to enjoy it!"

Willow moaned her approval of the Prince's actions, "Oh goodness...yes...I do!"

Once again as she reached the brink of orgasm he pulled out with a sigh, her sigh of disappointment matched his but for a different reason. "H-...Highness?" She asked.

"Thank you good lady, I do apologize to you," He turned, "And to you my good man. She was not the one and in the future I shall pay more heed to what you have to say."

Oz was beside himself with sorrow and rage, but only whispered, "Th-...thank you highness." With that a crying Oz took a weeping Willow to the other room.

"Be that all of the daughters of this house?" Xander asked, willy swaying in the wind without a care.

Joyce stepped forward, "Highness...I must confess...I too was at the ball last eve, and it was I whom you spent that evening with."

Xander raised a wary eyebrow, "Sayest thou the truth?"

She nodded and he sighed, "Very well then, you are not the first and I suspect, not the last mother to say such. Indeed it is worth checking out."

Joyce smiled and laid herself over the wedge and placing her forehead on her arms, "Be gentle milord, I am still sore from last eve's activities."

He flipped her skirt up and a key fell to the floor, Cinderella whom had been watching through the keyhole shouted to get his attention. "Prince Xander!"

Xander heard the faint sound, "Did you hear that?"

A flushed and flustered Joyce stood up and straightened her hair, "It was just the cat Highness! A very annoying cat who will get a severe BEATING LATER!" She called over her shoulder.

Xander bent down and picked up the key, "I believe you dropped this milady..."

"Prince Xander! Please!"

Xander stepped around Joyce who grabbed his arm and he looked down to where she was holding him, then back up into her eyes and squinted at her in his anger. "Milady, unhand my royal person."

She quickly let go and he walked toward the back of the house and the locked den doors where Dawn was banging against the door and shouting his name, he quickly unlocked the door and threw it wide, only to have his arms filled with a sobbing girl. "My Prince! You came for me!"

Xander frowned at her, "Milady, you are a bit young to have been at my ball last eve..."

"I snuck in but I swear it was me highness! Please, test my wares to be certain!"

Joyce chimed in from the doorway, "She is underage and nothing but a lowly servant your highness, certainly it couldn't be her..."

"Silence! I asked if there were any other girls in this house and you lied to me. No, now you will stand and watch as I go about my business!"

Turning back to Cinderella he frowned, "Milady...this is highly unusual but, I must ask you to bend over this chair and allow me to examine your claim in my own way. I ask your forgiveness for this intrusion, especially given the circumstance of your age..."

Dawn quickly bent over the chair and smiled over her shoulder at him, "My Prince, all that I have is yours, you need only claim it."

Xander stepped behind her...and lifted her skirts up, despite his misgivings he was highly aroused by the sight of her nude bottom. "No underclothes?"

Dawn blushed, "I have only one pair as my stepmother does not deem me worthy of spending money on...and I'm afraid they are in the wash..."

Xander slowly stepped behind her, and gently eased himself into her waiting hole...she moaned in ecstasy as she was completed once more and began to rock back against him, to encourage him to not be quite so gentle. Soon he had built up a rhythm and she was close to orgasm when, once again he pulled out before the girl could finish. "My Prince?" Dawn said as she stood up and faced him, grief on her face.

Xander pushed her across the room and against the wall and looked into her eyes for a moment. Alternating back and forth from one eye to the other as if the answer to his question lie in one of them. Then suddenly he kissed her and her arms went around his neck. He pulled back just long enough to whisper, "My love!"

He hiked her skirt up and, placing a hand on each of her buttocks, lifted her against the wall and slammed himself home once more. She screamed her pleasure and tried to rock in time with his motions but was soon lost to his need and her own building pleasure.

"It's yours milord, It has always been yours!"

"My love...oh my love, how could I have ignored you for so long?"

"Xander!"

"Dawn!"

"Xander!"

….

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"DAWN!" Joyce cried as she woke up from her...nightmare?

She intentionally slowed down her breathing and tried to think...she has stood by and watched as Xander slept with both her oldest daughter, and Willow...and even offered herself to him to prevent him finding the daughter she had locked up. Was she getting Freudian in her sleep? She sighed and took a drink of water from her nightstand and then got out of bed to check on her daughters.

She checked in on Dawn first, and found her writhing in her sleep before she arched her back, really not wanting to see her daughter in the throws of, "Xander!"...Quickly closing the door and moving on she tried desperately to dismiss the images from her mind. First the dream where she watched her daughter having sex, then seeing her in the midst of an apparently sexual dream. It was enough to make her a bit sick, one was only supposed to know such things on an intellectual level so it could be easily ignored. Like knowing that in order for you to exist, your parents had to have sex at some point.

She shivered and opened Buffy's door a crack to find her daughter sleeping peacefully now, but with what looked like tears on her cheeks... Joyce definitely had a bad feeling about what she would find when she went down the stairs, but down the stairs she went anyway.

Xander had a large smile on his face, but he wasn't moving or saying anything much...Joyce silently thanked goodness that her fears had been for naught, it was all that silly nightmare causing her to jump to conclusions.

As she headed back up the stairs she didn't hear Xander as his body tightened painfully due to his rather large and enjoyable orgasm, and he whispered one word. "Dawn..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Xander..." Dawn called softly, "Wake up sleepyhead.."

He looked up at her, face lit by a single beam of sunlight from where the curtains didn't quite come together, her hair looking like a halo around her head, and smiled. "Morning love."

Dawn's breath caught in her throat at the love that shown from his eyes and she didn't want to break the moment. "You too love...what...what brought that on?" She asked

He squinted as his brain finally woke up more and then his eyes went wide as he jumped off the couch and landed on the floor, putting more distance between them. "Uh nothing! Just a dream I thought I was still having!"

Dawn grinned at that and playfully began walking around the couch, "Oh really? Was it a good dream?"

He gulped and crab walked backward to keep the couch between them, "yea...NO! Bad dream, nightmare!"

She smiled as her fingers trailed down the arm of the couch seductively, "You sure about that? Because my dream started out as a nightmare and ended up soooo much better." Her eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Nope... Promise, it was just a strange dream and actually...hey what do you know! I already forgot it!"

"Forgot what?" Joyce asked as she walked in from the kitchen.

"NOTHING!" Xander cried as she stood up, "Er..I mean, it was a nightmare but I'm already starting to forget it! I um...need to use the bathroom!" With that he darted from the room and Dawn began giggling.

Joyce raised an eyebrow, "You are in an awfully good mood..I take it you had another good dream?"

"You have no idea..." Dawn said with a smile, and for some reason Joyce's stomach clenched...she wanted to say she did have some idea.

"Well it isn't nice to tease Xander like that dear, you're not a little girl any more."

Dawn smiled, "I know, that's what makes it so much more fun."

Joyce did roll her eyes at that, "Come on, cereal this morning unless you or Xander want to make eggs."

Dawn followed her mom into the kitchen and poured herself a bowl of Captain Crunch and was just putting milk on when Xander came in and sat down somewhat gingerly. "So uh...morning."

"Morning Xander, cereal's on the table. I'm afraid I have to dash to the gallery this morning."

Xander smiled, "No problem Mrs S. Me and the Captain are old friends."

"Hard on the mouth though." Dawn said with a smile.

"Yep, you gotta be a pretty tough guy..er person to stomach the Captain. He'll put hair on your gums, unless you let him sit in milk for five minutes before you eat him, but honestly, then it isn't Captain Crunch anymore, its more like Mr. Mush."

Half awake Buffy walked in and smacked Xander on the back of the head, causing him to fall out of his chair. "Mornin Buff...mind telling me what the Slayer powered wake up call was about?"

Buffy looked up at him from where she had sat down at the table and replied intelligently, "Hmmm?"

He got up off the floor and righted his chair, "The smack upside the head, not abnormal, but normally I know exactly what I've done or said to cause it since it was normally done or said on purpose. Help me out here?"

Buffy shrugged, "Actually I dunno...just had the urge to hit you."

"You know, it's not okay to hit right? I will not be a battered boyfriend."

She woke up more at that, "Who said anything about boyfriend?"

"What?" he asked, not expecting her to take him seriously.

"Uhg...I need to talk to Giles today about some stuff, sorry about hitting you Xander, I'm a little out of it today."

He looked her over for a second before shrugging, "Summers women, can't live without em, can't help fearing for your life around em..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that day Xander walked into the police station and found his way to the evidence locker where he inquired about the impound on his car. The person behind the desk made a few calls and Xander sat down in one of the uncomfortable chairs while he waited. Soon the detective from before walked up.

"Mr. Harris?"

"How many times to I have to tell you to call me Xander, Detective...schlonger?

The guy winced, "Shaefer..."

Xanders eyes went wide, "Sorry Sorry, I promise that wasn't on purpose. I've been having these dreams lately plus, I'm only 18 and male I think you get the picture."

Detective Schaefer looked at Xander for three full seconds before giving up on trying to figure out that line of thought. "If you'll follow me we can get you your car back, but I did have a few more questions for you."

Xander shrugged, "If it means I get my car back, fire away."

The detective led them through a maze of cubicles to his own, "Alright...er...Xander, now I understand you reported this car stolen the night before the incident?"

"Yeah, strange thing though, whoever it was fixed her up for me and brought her back. I called and told you guys that."

The man nodded, "You see there is the rub, according to the gang members we are holding, they are the ones that stole your car."

Xander couldn't miss just how coincidental that was, "No way!"

"Yes, so you can see how it makes a guy wonder. They tell me the car was stolen back from them while they were passed out."

"From the drugs or from alcohol?"

"Both I suspect, but see. So the story goes, they stole it from you, and they think you stole it back. Then tried to run them all down, killing their leader in the process."

Xander just stared at the guy for a few moments before he realized, "You don't seriously believe that do you?"

"I'm not sure what to believe at this point Xander, wanna help me out?"

"Look, I know its hard to believe someone fixed up the car they stole then returned it, but that's what happened at least as far as I know. I didn't know who took the car or you can bet I WOULD have gone to get it back, but I don't run people over, not my style, especially not with my baby who I'm trying to restore! Can you imagine how much damage that must do to a car?"

The detective nodded and flipped open the autopsy report on the hit-and-run victim. "See again, its strange. The paint and glass found on the victim match a car exactly like yours."

"I find it hard to believe there's another red fury in Sunnydale and I've never seen it, but not impossible."

"Indeed, because we didn't find any damage on the car at all, but like you said. As far as we can tell the headlamps and the windshield are brand new..."

"Okay, I only JUST bought this car a few days ago and I didn't know I was going to get a Fury. Hell my uncle Rory didn't even know he HAD a Fury in his junk yard. And do you know how hard parts are to find for her? I haven't looked much yet, but my uncle restores cars for a living and he told me it was going to be a pain in the ass! You can ask him!"

"Mr Harris please calm down, I was just telling you how it looked from my direction. And I will grant you, from where I sit you are a very unlikely suspect and your car does NOT appear to have been involved. I'm just doing my job here following up, because honestly we don't have any other leads at this point."

Xander calmed himself down and looked at the detective, "I understand what you're saying, but a whole lot of unexplained stuff happens in this town doesn't it?"

The detective looked a bit wary as he nodded, "That's true."

"And normally, you say something like 'Gangs on PCP with Barbecue Forks' even though you and I both know that is a crock of bull, am I right?"

"That might be close to the truth..."

"So for now why don't you just chalk this up to Gangs on PCP, real gangs on real drugs, who don't know what they saw or what they are talking about because they were high? Honestly if it wasn't some vigilante in a beater that he didn't give a damn about breaking, taking revenge for their kid getting killed I would be surprised. Can I have my car back now?"

The detective looked put out for a minute, but then he closed his file folder and let out a pent up breath. "Let's get you to your vehicle Xander...and call me Steve will you. Something tells me you know enough about this town that we could be good friends."

"Thanks Steve, and it would be nice to have the police on our side once in a while. I have a friend you need to know is on the good guys team."

"Which one is that?"

"Buffy Summers."

The detective stopped in mid stride, "That troublemaker?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giles answered the door to find Buffy there looking scared, "Buffy? Er, well..." he stood aside to allow her to enter.

Buffy found her way to his couch and plopped down still looking like she was facing a nightmare. "So um, to what do I owe this visit?"

She looked up at him with wide eyes and tried to speak, then snapped her jaw shut and shook her head. "How about tea?"

Finally Buffy spoke, "Diet Coke?"

Giles went and got her a soda then handed it to her as he sat down, she popped the top and took a sip before setting it down on the table. "We have a problem."

"What problem is that?" he asked curiously.

"A demony type of problem, I think there is something messing with my dreams."

Giles sat back and sighed, "Yes, I was aware that that might be the case."

"WHAT!" She shouted as she stood up, "You knew about this and didn't tell anyone about it?"

"Buffy please sit down, let me explain."

"Explain what? Do you know what kind of things this...thing is showing me? It's disgusting!"

Giles changed his tune, "Disgusting how? Perhaps we aren't talking about the same thing."

Buffy blushed and sat down, not meeting his eyes, "Ah..I see. We are indeed speaking of the same phenomena then." He held up a hand as she went to speak. "Please let me explain." She closed her mouth and nodded for him to continue.

"I was only recently made aware that there might be something lurking about and messing with dreams, and I have yet to actually find anything in the record or in the demonology texts which fits. Granted though," He gestured to his living room with was filled with stacks of books they had rescued from the library before dropping the school onto the recently ascended demon-mayor's head. "My system of organization leaves some things to be desired."

"Who told you about this?" Buffy asked.

"Er..." Giles said, removing his glasses and wiping them to gain a bit of time, "It was um, Xander actually."

"XANDER!" Buffy said standing up again.

"Please Buffy, sit down and think about this rationally. Surely you don't blame Xander for what appears to be a supernatural phenomenon?"

"Well no..." The Slayer said as she sat back down. "But...oh my gosh!" She said her eyes going wide, "You don't...you don't think he might be having the SAME dreams as me?"

Giles looked at her peculiarly, "I did say he brought it up to me first, he described a sudden upswing in lascivious dreams..."

"No, I mean you don't think we are SHARING these dreams do you?"

He pursed his lips as he thought about it and gave her the bad news, "I cannot rule it out at this point," She turned and started pacing as he spoke louder to get through to her, "As I explained to Xander, sexual energy is useful in all sorts of magic and is the purest form of energy that can be generated by a couple. Emphasis on at least two people."

Buffy stopped her pacing, "You mean it can be more than two people?"

Giles blushed slightly, "Er...there are actually rituals which CALL for the energy generated by three or more..."

"Oh my gosh! Then Willow is having these dreams too!"

He raised an eyebrow, "How can you be certain?"

Buffy clammed up for a second and looked around, unsure whether she should share her information. "Buffy, I assure you, I will keep what you say confidential, and I am also sure Willow would want to know if she is being controlled in any way."

"I'm not so sure, she seems to like all of her dreams..."

"And you um...don't?" Giles asked.

"NO! Most of my dreams are about Xander or Oz! One is like a brother to me and the other is my best friends boyfriend...and sooo not my type anyway, he's a little short..."

Giles sighed and resisted the urge to run a hand over his face, "I see...so, about Willow?"

Buffy sat back down and began describing the recent dreams she and Willow had discussed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander and his baby pulled into the junkyard and parked outside of Rory's garage, Xander cut the engine and patted the dash lovingly before getting out and heading for the door to his uncle's trailer. He knocked twice and stood back to wait, before long his uncle appeared, half dressed and smelling of alcohol.

"What is it, who's there..." he said as he opened the door. "Xander?..."

"Hey Rory, just here to work on the car, like we talked about."

"The car...huh? Oh, that car..." He said looking sour, "Fine fine, the tools are in the garage just don't break nothin or you'll be payin for it."

"You got it, thanks again Rory."

The man waved him off and closed the door, to go back to the bottle or bed, Xander wasn't sure which. He walked back over to the car and smiled, "Alright baby lets get you all shiny like, what do ya say? Don't mind Uncle Rory, he's still upset that I found you and he didn't know you were back there. He's still the most sober one in my family if you can believe it."

He went into the garage and found the buffer and some light grit compound to put on the wheel, a quick search found the extension chord already plugged in, so he connected the buffer and headed back to his baby. "Alright, this shouldn't hurt much. Think of it as a spa day, or maybe a massage."

He started on the hood, making small circular motions and getting the paste all over the drivers side while humming a tune he couldn't quite remember. Time sort of got away from him as he became one with the buffer, "Wax on, wax off..." he joked to himself.

Once he was done with that he switched to a different pad and went to work removing the compound...only to stop after the first swipe. "Holy shi...You've got to be kidding me!" The hood shown bright, fire engine red where he had taken up the compound and he found himself getting giddy. "Oh baby..you're so good to me!" Quickly he went back to work with a very large smile on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright, so I got hold of Willow at home, who is going to snag Oz and bring him with, Dawnie is on her way over too, and very happy to be included I might add. I couldn't find Xander at home but Willow said he's probably out at his Uncles working on that car again. I swear I will never understand what it is about boys and their toys." Buffy said in one breath, a rather remarkable accomplishment if Giles had any say.

"Very good, I suppose we can commandeer my kitchen table as well as the coffee table for research purposes. Oh dear..."

"Hmm?" Buffy asked, on the alert for danger.

"What in heavens name am I going to feed a house full of teenagers?"

"We can send Xander out to get Pizza when he shows up, after all he's the one with the wheels."

"Oh yes, I hadn't thought of it that way. How on earth did Xander always manage to bring us doughnuts for these sorts of things before he had adequate transportation?"

Buffy shrugged, "That will probably always be one of the mysteries of being Xander."

It took about 20 minutes for Willow and Oz to show up, and Dawn was there not long after that. Willow confided in the others that she had called out to Xander's uncle and had him pass along the message that they were having a research party. Of course, unbeknownst to them, Rory hadn't given that message to his nephew until Xander knocked on the door asking about using the bathroom.

And so now he was racing...the speed limit, back toward Giles house having called from Rory's to order a couple of pizzas from the gas station near there. On the one hand he was upset that he was missing out, but on the other hand, he'd finished buffing his baby out. He couldn't wait to see the faces of the girls when he pulled up with what looked almost like a brand spanking new, factory paint job. All that was really left was to shine up the chrome and replace some bits of plastic and any auto restorer would give him a more than passable grade.

The 50's music, which had been charming at the time, was finally getting annoying though. "Maybe I should get a new stereo after all...some new speakers maybe? After all, cross country is a long way to go without proper tunes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

They heard the rumble and purr of the engine from inside and quickly went out to greet Xander...and beg him to go pick up pizza. Dawn was out the door first, followed by Willow, then Buffy and then Oz who had yet to see the new Xander-wagon.

Giles gave up and headed outside as well, marking his place in the current tome he was perusing. As he walked out into the approaching sunset he had to remove his glasses and clean them, before believing what he was seeing. "Oh my!"

"Oh my is right G-man! Have I told you all yet that this car could very well be the best thing to happen to me in Sunnydale? Er...besides meeting Willow in kindergarten and the Summers girls in High school of course...and um, of course I mean Giles you know that..."

"I think we all understood you meant present company excluded my boy. Now...tell me what on earth you did to her to get that marvelous result?"

The girls were hanging all over the shiny red vehicle, as Xander explained to Giles that it had been a few layers of dirt on top of the paint job and not a faded paint job like he'd thought originally. "Honestly, its like she was in a cocoon of dirt, just waiting for the right person to come along and break her out."

"Alright Xander, I take back everything I said about your car. SHE has turned out rather awesome."

He smiled, "Oh? So why is she now a SHE?"

Buffy grinned, "Because no man should be this beautiful...Can I go for a ride again later? Now that she's all cleaned up?"

"Sure, we'll all hop in later when I take you home."

"What about me?" Willow asked with 'Willow-sad-face'.

"You can hop in now and I'll take you round the block or so."

Oz stepped in front of his girlfriend, "Mind if I come too?"

Xander looked at him oddly, "Of course not man, the more the merrier."

Giles cleared his throat, "Xander I hate to ask, but do you think you could pick up some pizza while you're out?"

The teen smiled and popped the trunk, pulling out two large pies and handing them over to Dawn. "Way ahead of you G-man, way ahead of you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours alter and Xander closed his book and put it in the "was useless" pile. "Alright, I know what I'm looking for, and I know what I'm not finding. I wasn't here when this party got started so what exactly did G-man tell you?"

Oz looked up from his spot beside Willow. "You know, the man has a point. We were told to look for anything that could affect dreams but nothing else to go on."

Willow had figured it out but hadn't had the courage to actually tell him until now, so she cleared her throat, "Well...it's about these dreams we've all been having..."

"Dreams?" Dawn asked as she started to blush, "Wh-what about them?"

Giles set his book aside once more and looked at all of them, none of the teens seemed willing to explain further so it was left to him. "Very well, " he sighed and began polishing his glasses again,

"Xander brought the matter to my attention first and I'm afraid I dismissed it as far more likely being his own libido than anything supernatural. However when Buffy approached me about the same issue I decided we did indeed have something to worry about. Now...by show of hands, how many of you have had strange dreams over the past several days?"

Everyone in the room raised their hands, "As I suspected...now, how many of those dreams were sexual in nature?"

Oz was the only one who didn't blush, he did however shoot a look at Xander that was hard to read. "Looks like that would be all of us. Not that dream sex isn't great..."

"Because it is totally awesome!" Dawn said with a smile.

"Awesome?" Buffy asked with a screech. "How can you say that! I've been dreaming about Xander most nights and on the rare night it isn't him, its Oz!"

"Really?" Oz asked while at the same time Willow shouted, 'You didn't tell me that!"

Giles cleared his throat, "Now let us calm down and approach this from a clinical standpoint. Now...Buffy you first, how many people in this room have you seen in these dreams?"

Buffy barely controlled her blush, and didn't meet anyone's eyes. "Everyone except you...thank GOD!"

There were sounds of agreement around the room, and Giles found himself feeling somewhat left out, and entirely glad at the same time. He cleared his throat, "Um...yes...well then. What was the first dream that tipped you off?"

Buffy looked quickly at Xander before looking away and answering in a small voice. "It was Oz in the library..."

"The one that burned down?" Willow asked. "But...but in the library is MY fantasy!" When everyone turned to look at her she 'eeped' and hid her face in her hands.

"Oz?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, I remember that one too..." Willow gasped and turned to him half-accusingly and he shrugged, "Remember that morning when you told me about your Xander dream?" She nodded, and then she got a very guilty look on her face.

"So it seems that these are shared dreams. And I take it...you all came to, um...completion in the waking world as well?"

"It sure feels like it when I wake up." Dawn said with a smile, getting Buffy to turn on her.

"Oh? And just who have you been dreaming about?" When she looked guiltily at Xander, Buffy turned on him. Sensing danger he quickly jumped up and put the armchair between her and himself.

"Buffy...you know I couldn't control that any more than you could control dreaming of me!"

Buffy growled at him, "So first you have sex with me in the Library and then what, decide to go for both sisters?"

"Now Buffy, as he said, he couldn't control himself any more than you could control sleeping with both he and Oz in your dreams."

Willow was halfway to resolve-face as she cried out, "Both of them in the Library?"

"That doesn't change the fact that I want to wring his neck. Especially since I DON'T LIKE HIM THAT WAY! I feel violated!"

Xander, his mouth getting ahead of his brain couldn't help but comment, "That isn't what you were saying while we were going at it."

Buffy leaped the chair and pounced him to the floor where he squeaked something or another...and then fought dirty, going straight for the ticklish inside of her thigh which he had discovered during one of their dream trysts. The girl on top of him instantly went from demon-powered Slayer to giggling girl with no defenses. "Xander! Xander stop!"

"Not until you apologize! It's not my fault!"

Buffy shook her head and tried to look murderous but she couldn't keep it up for long before she burst out laughing as he squeezed a particularly ticklish spot. "I give! I'm sorry! I'm...-I'm sorry! Don't make me pee!"

Xander let her up off of him before quickly putting the couch and both Willow and Oz between them once more. Just in case.

"Now if we can all be adults about this perhaps we can continue?"

Oz looked over his shoulder and smiled, "Xander...I'd suggest you be nowhere near my crypt when I change this month."

He looked confused, "Huh?"

Oz didn't put any extra or any less emotion in his voice than normal, yet his tone still caused ice to form on Xanders back. "I remember you sleeping with Willow in my bed, and I remember begging you not to 'test the fit' on my girl. I know on an intellectual level that it was all a dream and we couldn't control any of it. But the wolf is feeling a little overprotective at the moment."

Xander backed up a few steps and gulped, "Noted."

Willow smacked Oz on the shoulder, "But you said anything that made me happy was okay!"

"That was the dream me, the real me would never be able to say that. I don't know how I would react if I wasn't a werewolf, but I'm telling you right now I would NEVER be okay with that...well maybe if Xander could beat the wolf into submission I'd acknowledge him as my alpha. But if that happened, the me side of me couldn't handle it."

"I don't understand..." Willow said tearing up.

Oz shrugged, "I don't either babe, I'm just telling you how it is."

Buffy cleared her throat and Giles looked at her thankfully, "So, these dreams are shared, you do not have any control over who or what you...er...do in these dreams. Has anyone noticed any side effects? Lack of energy or bad luck or anything?"

"You mean besides the car?" Dawn asked.

"And the annoying urge to disembowel him with my fingernails?" Oz said nodding in Xanders direction.

"You know I'm getting real tired of that fuzzball." Xander said finally having enough. "If you think I can't take the wolf on maybe you're forgetting that I have about a century of soldier memories and reflexes hanging around up here," he said pointing to his head, "Not to mention there is a primordial hyena spirit that I'm not positive is completely gone!"

Buffy looked up at him sharply, "What do you mean, not completely gone? You told me you didn't remember anything!"

Xander's eyes widened, "Crap... uh, I can explain."

"We'll be right back, won't we Xander?" Buffy said marching outside.

"Crap..." Xander said following her out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

She whirled on him the moment the door was closed and poked him in the chest hard, driving him back against the wall. "What. Were. You .Thinking?"

"What? And OW!"

"You know what that thing tried to do to me! You remember!"

"I'm sorry! I just thought we would be better off if we both forgot that ever happened!"

"It wanted to rape me!" She shouted at him.

Xander shook his head, "I'm not defending it, but it recognized you as the strongest female in the pack and it wanted you for its mate...it was actually a complement..."

"NOT WHEN I SAY NO XANDER! I said NO and it kept coming for me!"

Xander nodded, "And you know that wasn't me!"

"How..." She said quietly, "How can I ever trust you...trust that it wasn't you and you just wanted to hide it from me?"

Xander cautiously stood up and approached her, "Remember the love spell I had Amy cast?"

Buffy blushed but nodded, "You remember how you acted toward me that day?"

"Yes...but that was totally different! I was under a spell and you cant say you didn't want me!"

He shook his head, "That isn't what I meant Buff, I wasn't suggesting you almost raped me too. What I'm saying is, remember what I did when you tried to seduce me."

Buffy looked down as he took her hands, "You didn't want me..."

"Oh man Buff, I wanted you more than you can imagine."

"Then why?" She asked with tears running down her face.

"Because I couldn't do that to you, not if it wasn't real. And I think part of me never would have let the Hyena do that either...if you didn't want it."

Buffy sighed... "So, Mr Secrets. Does that mean the hyena IS still in there?"

Xander shrugged, "Maybe, I like my meat a lot more rare now, but I haven't noticed anything else. I never got confirmation that it was gone but I haven't actively gone looking for it either."

"But you could use it's power! You wouldn't be in so much danger in a fight any more..."

"Not worth it, not after it almost hurt you like that. I'm happy being the normal guy. Now can we go back inside?"

Buffy looked away for a second before nodding and wiping her face on her sleeve. "Alright..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

They came back in to find the others discussing what exactly they were looking for now. "Alright, so look for anything that can affect dreams, and anything that gains power from sex or sex magic."

"That isn't much better than we had to start with." Xander said with a sigh.

"Yes, and aren't you so glad you brought it up?" Willow asked him accusingly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another hour later and still nothing besides succubi had been found, and they were not known for affecting dreams. Dawn yawned as she closed her latest book, "I'm beat..."

Giles looked up at the clock on the wall, "Oh goodness, indeed we have been at this for quite awhile, and as it does not seem to be apocalypse level threat I suggest we call it a night."

"Sounds good to me!" Dawn said as she stood up.

Buffy huffed, "Sure, sounds good to you. Who have you been dreaming about Dawnie?"

Dawn blushed but her glance at Xander elicited a growl from the Slayer. "Xander, Oz. You are NOT allowed to go to sleep!"

Xander quickly disagreed, "Are you nuts? I woke up early this morning to get my car back, I'm running on fumes as it is!"

"Oh come off it, you used to get up for school and then patrol with me until three or four in the morning!"

"Yeah, and I got to sleep through calculus and history!"

Giles was unaware of Xanders schedule while at school, "You took calculus?"

Xander looked sheepish, "What? I took the same classes Willow did."

"And he kept a C average in all of them too, I was happy to tutor him through the classes he slept in."

Buffy hadn't realized it either, "But Willow is...well, Willow!"

Xander stood up, "What? And I'm just poor stupid Xander?"

"I don't think you're stupid." Dawn said quietly.

He turned to her, "Thanks Dawnie...that means a lot coming from this group..."

"This doesn't change anything! Xander and Oz cannot go to sleep, I'm tired of being raped every night!"

Oz decided to chime in, "Well...technically you never said no..."

"I NEVER HAD A CHOICE!"

Giles interjected once more, trying to be the voice of reason, "Buffy, if it had been Angel that you were sharing these dreams with, would you feel violated?"

She remained quiet for a moment, "Well...no, but that isn't the point!"

"I'm afraid it really is the point, none of you have any control over these dreams. It could be said that the males are being taken advantage of just as much as the females. If they shouldn't sleep then neither should you."

"As if I can get any sl..." She yawned and looked around guiltily, "sleep anyway..."

Xander turned to her, "Buffy, if you ASK me not to go to sleep tonight, or let us set up some sort of sleep schedule that keeps us from sharing these dreams. Then I would do it in a heartbeat, you have to know that. I just don't like you TELLING me to do a damned thing. You are not my boss in any form."

Buffy looked sheepishly around the group. "Fine...what if...what if the girls go to sleep first and then the guys?"

Oz and Xander exchanged looks before the former spoke up, "How about Willow and I stay up while you and Dawn get some sleep? I don't fancy finding out if this thing has a heterosexual preference or not."

Willow meeped and Buffy looked frightened, "Uh...how about a sleep schedule then?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander got two hours of sleep in the first time slot since it was his suggestion that they take turns, Dawn kept trying to kip out while he was taking his nap but Buffy was a very attentive watcher, finally letting Dawn go to sleep once she was certain Xander was awake. Oz and Willow promised not to go to sleep until their time slot opened up two hours after that, and Buffy, who was still refusing to sleep at all took the last time slot in the rotation, hoping that at least if she DID fall asleep during that time, she wouldn't be interrupted.

Willow and Oz got back to his apartment and began playing her 'Acquire' board game to pass the time, until Oz got a call from one of his band mates who had gotten drunk and needed a ride home.

"I'll be back real quick I promise, you stay awake now you hear? There's coffee in the kitchen and as always 'me java su java'."

She kissed him and watched him leave with a smile, then sat on the couch to watch late night TV in order to keep herself occupied, unfortunately she was asleep twenty minutes in."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I've never done this before...not for real..." Dawn said shakily.

Willow smiled at her, "Me either...I mean not the me that's me, but vampire me was a little bit Gay I think..."

"So how do we do this? I mean...when I new Xander was with Cordelia I thought about what it might be like to share him and decided I'd be okay with it if I knew he loved me. And then when you two started smooching I was scared to think about it at first, but honestly I think you're much nicer than Cordy and kinda hot too..."

"Well if we're being honest...I've kinda noticed just how good the puberty fairy has been to my little Dawnie...I-if you want to try, you know, just in case one of us ends up with Xander...then I'm okay with that..."

Dawn nodded and steeled herself before leaning forward and quickly kissing Willow on the lips before sitting back. "How was that?" She asked.

Willow smiled at her again, "It was nice...it didn't feel icky or anything, but it felt kinda like what I imagine kissing my sister would be like...why don't you close your eyes?"

Dawn did as asked and prepared herself, it was all Willow could do to keep form giggling at the look on the girls face as she leaned forward, stopping an inch from Dawns lips, eyes darting around her face...daring herself to do it. Then she closed her own eyes and leaned forward, pressing her lips against Dawns and remaining there.

Dawn felt the fuse light at her lips and travel down to her core, and found herself inhaling a breath through her nose as her hands tried to lift themselves from her lap. Willows hands were a little more bold and came up behind the girl to pull her closer, which cued Dawns arms to do the same.

Opening their eyes they broke the kiss but remained embraced. "Wow!" Dawn said with wide eyes.

Willow nodded excitedly, "Yeah wow...that was really nice. Different but nice."

"Wanna try again?" Dawn asked tentatively.

_Beta by Godogma_


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: **_Joss Whedon or whoever he sold the rights to owns the Buffyverse, Icha Icha is owned by Jiraiya who in turn is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, Christine belongs to Stephen King and me...I own nothing apparently or I wouldn't be writing fanfiction._

Icha Icha Sunnydale: Chapter Seven

Willow woke up when the sun hit her face, smiling widely as if some riddle had just been solved, and she didn't even realize there was a question in the first place. Oz was laying on the floor next to the couch, so she reached down and placed a hand on his cheek. "Oz..."

"Hmm?" He asked sleepily.

"Oz, why did you let me sleep..." Her eyes went wide as she realized what had happened, "Oh no! Oh no oh no oh no oh no! Oz why did you let me sleep?"

At her first exclamation he came fully awake and was sitting beside her. "What? When I came back it was only twenty minutes til our turn anyway so I let you stay asleep. In fact we've still got..." he glanced at his watch, "another ten minutes if you want to actually move to the bed for nap?"

"No...oh no oh no..."

"Will what's wrong? Xander was awake...was it some other guy?" His eyes hardened. "Because I can sort of handle Xander...sort of, but I can't do this forever babe."

She shook her head and blushed, "Another girl then?" Oz asked.

She nodded but didn't meet his eyes, he relaxed visibly, "Oh, okay then. No worries."

Willow looked at him in shock and horror...speechless.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn had been awake for two hours...trying not to think too hard about her dream..and how she felt about it. Up until now it had only been Xander starring in her dreams if you didn't include her stint as Sin-derella. But now it was suddenly real, and scary, and she wasn't sure if she felt violated or..."No! No I feel violated, that was dirty and wrong and I would never do that in real life..."

She went back to her eighteenth century watchers diary, confused.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander yawned and stretched before digging back into his own tome across the room from Dawn. Since there had been no indication of Giles' inclusion up to this point it was decided he was safe to go to sleep. That left a rather ragged looking Buffy who could barely concentrate, Xander and Dawn on this shift. He had yet to find anything useful either and was about to throw in the towel and come up with some bullshit excuse about the bonds they had formed while fighting the darkness manifesting themselves as a metaphysical link between them. It sounded properly stuffy and supernatural, he might even convince Giles it was true.

Just then Dawn squealed and came running over to them, "I think I have it!"

Buffy was instantly on alert, being the Slayer did have some perks after all, "What is it?"

She began reading, "In Japan we have encountered a phenomenon which has been labeled the 'Spirit of IchaIcha' though whether it is demonic or spiritual in nature I have been unable to ascertain. Local legend tells of a force which will descend on a small number of key people, normally royalty of some sort, and cause them to have shared, sensual dreams."

"That sounds like a winner all right!' Xander crowed softly, "What else does it say? Does it tell how to get rid of it?"

"Not exactly...It says here, 'There appears to be no rhyme or reason for its coming, but it's going appears to be linked to the menstrual cycles of the females that are targeted, unlike most demons it appears this 'spirit' does not like to linger once blood is involved. Targeted females have to come together for a period long enough to align their menses in order to drive the demon away."

Xander made an 'ick' face and Dawn was blushing heavily by the time she finished the passage. "So then...you girls all have to get together and...you have to make it so that all at the same time you um..."

"Yes Xander, we have to figure out a way to get us all on our period at the same time." Buffy said with a roll of her eyes...before her eyes widened. "Oh shit..."

"Oooh Buffy! Should I tattletale to mom?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow showed up not long after that, without Oz, getting a strange look from Buffy and Xander, though Dawn would not meet her eyes. That was fine because Willow was not exactly interacting with Dawn if at all possible. Giles had been woken not long after the discovery and filled in on the situation.

He was currently furiously polishing his glasses at a total loss for words, "That sounds like our problem...however I am not very well equipped...that is I..."

Buffy was getting rather irritable, having not slept in nearly 24 hours, "Oh honestly you men! It's a natural thing that ALL women go through and you act like its the most hideous thing you can imagine!"

Xander raised his hand, "Not to prove you right or anything but can I just say...ewwww. Also, I don't really fancy being anywhere near a house full of PMS'ing females if I can avoid it."

Dawn was the one to smack him in the back of the head before Buffy could reach him, "Thank you for saving me from your sister."

She grinned at him, "Any time you want me to beat you up in her stead just let me know."

"Good to know if I ever get into BDSM." Xander remarked with a matching grin, causing Dawn to blush furiously.

Giles cleared his throat, "Well then...I believe with the correct herbs we can convince all of your bodies to um...align in order to sort this thing out and get it moving to a new target..."

"You sure we can't kill it?" Buffy asked.

"Not that I can tell."

Buffy sighed and sat back into the couch cushions, "We have a problem with your plan though..."

"What would that be?" Giles asked.

Willow took over for her blushing friend, "Well see...Buffy hasn't had her period since she started slaying..."

"Oh dear! Why wasn't I made aware of this?"

"Because I don't exactly go around telling my father figure what my period schedule looks like! And honestly, it hasn't been an issue...kind of nice actually."

"I'll bet!" Dawn said unhappily.

"Bitch." Willow said before sticking her tongue out and getting the same in response from the Slayer.

"Oh dear..."

Willow perked up, "But I think it is probably job stress, or a lot of exercise that is the cause. Unless you know of this happening before?" She asked looking at Giles.

"Actually, all of our training as Watchers indicates that the Slayer can identify Vampires by...er..."

"Cramps." Buffy said, "And I did get that a little bit when I went up against the Master and his minions in LA. But since then I got nothing."

"So that's why you use fashion!" Willow exclaimed.

Buffy shrugged, "To tell the truth, I think visual cues work a lot better than painful bloaty crampiness any day."

Giles cleared his throat again, "Be that as it may, it seems that we are going to have to find a way to restart your menstrual cycle using herbs and relaxation techniques if you want to be rid of this IchaIcha any time soon."

"How's that going to work? I mean, I need to patrol and whatnot to keep the vamp population down over the summer right?"

She looked around the group, who were looking at each other, "RIGHT?"

"Buffy," Giles began, "I think in this instance, it would be best if you refrained from doing ANY of your normal routine. I believe possibly a day at the spa followed by some bed rest should help."

"WHAT? You can't be serious?" His gaze didn't waiver, "You ARE serious! No, I can't do that, I need to be out there killing stuff!"

"Buff, it IS summer and there is always a lull in activity during the summer. I think we can handle it." Xander commented.

"Yeah, and since you moved here there has never been a summer apocalypse, they always seem to pickup in the fall." Willow said, "We really need to get rid of this thing!"

Buffy turned to her in disbelief. "I thought you LIKED this thing!"

Willow blushed, "I did...but it's gone on long enough and we have to do something about it now."

Buffy huffed and crossed her arms, she sat there impetuously for a few moments looking from one to the other in the group before she finally sighed, "Can I at least get a massage out of the deal?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn caught Willow on her way out of Giles' place with a hand on her arm, "Um...Willow?"

The redhead fought to control her blush, unable to meet the other girls eyes as she whispered, "Yeah Dawnie?"

The younger girl was looking anywhere but at the target of her conversation, "So did you fall asleep early?"

"Uh...yeah..."

"So then you..." Willow nodded, "And I?" Another nod, "And we?"

"Together...yeah..."

Dawn let the silence fill the air for a few seconds as she struggled with what she should say next...finally deciding on the truth. "Wasn't it awesome?" She asked in a scared voice.

Willow blushed again and looked around to make sure it was only the two of them before pulling Dawn over to a bench, "Oh my God it was amazing! But I can't...I mean we can't! You're only 16!"

"I know that Willow...but...see the thing is I didn't read all of the journal in there.."

"What?"

"The rest of that journal entry..." She licked her lips, "IchaIcha it seems, can only affect at a subconscious level...those who are already sexually attracted to one another."

Willow looked gobsmacked, her mouth and eyes were wide open and rather than blush the color was draining from her face. "But that would mean that you..."

"Yeah..."

"And that I'm..."

"I didn't believe it either...but..." Dawn spread her hands wide as if to say 'there you go'.

Willow stood abruptly, "I have to go...I can't...we can't...I...I have to go."

Dawn stood as well and nibbled her lip with a worried look in her eyes, "Okay!" She danced to the side to see Willow better as she was leaving, "I'll talk to you later then?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow did return later with the magical herbs and other ingredients she'd picked up from the magic shop in town. She was less jumpy but still actively avoiding Dawn much to the younger girls dismay. Meanwhile Xander had been working on readying some of the longer range fighting equipment Giles had on hand, which Buffy normally let alone. Buffy, still unhappy with the whole situation, was laying on the couch with her feet up, complaining about how she was not an invalid.

"Right then, looks like we have two crossbows, a few freshly whittled extra long stakes, what looks suspiciously like a poleaxe and freshly weaponized Holy Water." Xander said with a grin.

"Extra long stakes?" Dawn asked.

"Weaponized Holy Water?" Giles asked, intrigued.

He shrugged, "Well yeah, see the Buffster is great at up close and personal, none of us are; so I made these stakes more like half-sized spears. Hopefully that means we can stay out of arms reach and still make a kill. I oiled the crossbows and checked the strings to make sure they were good to go...speaking of which G-man," he turned to the older man, "Why is it all of your crossbows look medieval when there are much better ones on the market made with new age materials?"

"Er...yes well, Buffy never showed any interest in that area and the funding I had went to other weapons..."

"Well in any case, if the termites haven't gotten to them the crossbows should be fine."

"Xander?" Giles asked.

"Hmm?"

"The Holy Water?"

Xander looked excited, "Oh that, well see holy water is great and all, but not exactly the most offensive type of weapon...well I mean in terms of Offense, not in terms of making vampires cringe...anyway so I figured out a way to use twentieth century technology to make it more effective as a weapon."

Buffy growled from the couch, "Which is?"

"Supersoakers."

Dawn grinned, "Oooh cool! Can I have one?"

"Dawn I'm afraid this is no for a casual water fight and you shan't be patrolling in any case. However ingenious it sounds Xander I wonder what would happen when you run out of er...ammunition?"

Xander reached over the arm of the chair and pulled out a pistol sized Supersoaker and a one liter soda bottle. "See I thought of that, what do you do with a normal gun if you run out of ammo?"

He quickly unscrewed the stock bottle from the weapon, then unscrewed the cap from the soda bottle, before slamming it home and twisting it into place. "You reload. Granted, carrying around more than one refill would be rather burdensome, but if we use more than two liters apiece of Holy Water it was likely the wrong weapon to be using to begin with. I also figure there are enough churches around that if the situation got really bad we could resupply."

"That's it, I'm coming with you!" Buffy said making to get up before Willow put hands on her shoulders and shoved her back down onto the couch.

"No, we need this thing gone like yesterday!"

Buffy huffed and pouted, "I still don't understand why you have the sudden desire to get rid of it when just yesterday you were perfectly fine."

"She's right Buffy, we can't live like this." Dawn said quietly.

Buffy looked over at her sister, "You too? But I thought the only one you dreamed about was Xander and you had no problem with that!"

Xander raised his hand, "I'd just like to make note that I do have a problem with that."

"Yeah right, you know you like it." Dawn said sticking her tongue out at him. Xander turned away from the group to hide his smile.

"No, I can't be alright with that. Sorry Dawnie."

Buffy continued, "Anyways; so if its not Xander that's the problem then what..." She looked at upside down Willow standing over her blushing..and then back to her sister who was looking anywhere but at the redhead. Then her eyes went wide, "Willow!"

"What?" The girl asked defensively.

"You did didn't you! How could you do that to my little sister?"

Dawn stepped in, "It isn't her fault! Well not really. And it's like you can control who you're attracted to."

Willow quickly looked at Dawn in shock and betrayal, begging with her eyes not to explain further, unfortunately Buffy wouldn't leave it at that. "What do you mean attracted to? What does that have to do with anything, I mean it's not like I'm attracted to Oz or Xander." She laughed.

Dawn walked over to the kitchen counter and picked up the pertinent journal, opening it to the bookmark. "I didn't finish reading the entry yesterday."

"Why on earth not?" Giles asked.

"Well we got all the information we needed to stop it and it didn't seem like a big deal until...later."

"Dawn..." Buffy growled.

Dawn read the entry in its entirety before handing the journal to Giles. Buffy was in instant denial mode. "No! That isn't right! I mean if that's right then I really DO find Oz and Xander sexy on some level...and that makes me kinda sick I think..."

"Hey!" Xander complained.

"Sorry..." She said looking sheepish, "But then that means that Willow..."

"And Me..." Dawn said quietly.

"Oh...wow..." Buffy said quietly.

Xander swallowed, "Hey Buff...why was your mom in that Cinderella dream?"

"Excuse me?" Giles asked in shock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So..." Xander said to fill the awkward silence in the car as he and Willow moved on to the next graveyard on the list.

"So..?" She asked the passenger side window.

"So uh..." He wanted to ask about her dream with Dawn, but didn't want to sound like a complete ass, "Where's Oz been?"

"Oh...we had a fight..."

"Whoa really? I didn't think you two did that sort of thing!"

"What? Fight? Doesn't everyone fight?"

Xander shrugged, "I guess, I just thought...cuz you and Oz are both so laid back..."

"I am not laid back! You make it sound like I will just sit there and take whatever he decides to push on me!"

"Whoa whoa Will, chill. I didn't mean it like that, you're just ...well you're just Willow, and my Willow is pretty good at the not fighting thing. Unless its about a doll, cuz then you can sure hold a grudge...

"We were 4! Would you give up on that already?" She pleaded with him.

He pulled the car over and parked as they reached their next way point, he then turned toward her, "Alright Spill. We've been joking about that fight for 14 years and now it bothers you?"

Willow sniffed...and then dove into his shoulder where he suddenly found crying girl all over him and instinctively wrapped her in a hug. "Hey hey...its cool, we can forget all about it if you want, in fact. I never brought it up!"

"It's not you dummy, it's Oz... Ever since this dream thing started he's been all protective and clingy...and I was kinda finding it cute at first. You know...it was nice to feel wanted, like I only belonged to him."

"But?"

"But then that stupid Dawn dream screwed everything up...he was like, super jealous mode until I told him it was a girl, he didn't even ask who he just totally changed and said," She put on her best blank Oz-like face in a completely un-Oz-like surfer dude voice said, "Oh...cool."

"Not to sound like a male chauvinist pig or anything but...honestly? If it wasn't Dawn I might sorta think it was cool myself...if we were dating I mean. Hypothetically."

She smacked his shoulder, "Not helping...and thank you I think, I mean...I've been confused since I woke up and then Dawn said you had to already be attracted to the person...does this mean I'm gay?"

Xander shook his head, "Not if you are also having dreams about guys, then it means at worst..your Bisexual."

"That doesn't wig you out?"

"Nope no wiggins here, I like my Willow in any flavor."

Willow pulled back and looked at him for a second before surprising him with a kiss. He went with it for a second before his brain began screaming and he gently disengaged from her lips, instead pulling her back into the hug where he felt a little safer. "What was that?"

She was breathing hard...and trying not to try. "I don't know...Xander what if I made the wrong choice? I mean Cordelia left you after the fluke, and Oz took me back and you were left all alone..."

"I had Anya..."

"Anya doesn't count, I'm sorry but that was like mutual pity sex more than a relationship."

Xander winced, "Ouch with the harshness..."

"But its the truth. Why didn't I choose you? I wanted you for so long and then I had you and then I gave you up..."

"Hey hey hey," He pulled her away so he could look her in the eye, "I wanted Cordelia back too, I understand. But you can't do this to Oz again and expect him to take you back. I'm not going to lie...thanks to these dreams I am one hundred percent sure you are NOT just one of the guys any more. If you wanted me I'd be here for you, but I won't fluke around again with you. It would have to be real this time."

She nodded and wiped her face on her sleeve, "I do love you Xander."

"I'll always love you Will, now hows about we leave this conversation for later. We have some patrolling to do."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the third graveyard their earlier conversation lay mostly forgotten, along with the kiss. They had successfully staked only a single fledgling, and that was because they'd done their 'obituary reconnaissance' and new where to point the crossbow before they ever popped out of the ground. Actually it was what they had come to deem the "summer lull" when supernatural activity, including vampires, were at the minimum for the year, so it really wasn't all that surprising.

On their way back to the car they overheard a conversation near one of the crypts however, a group of vampires and demons appeared to be arguing over territory or something, and some of the weapons they sported did not look inviting.

"Will I think this is out of our league, how about we just take notes and get back to the situation once Buffy is up and running again?'

Willow nodded, then her eyes went wide. He turned to look and found the group all looking in their direction. "Well shit...plan B, RUN!"

He grabbed her hand and headed for the gates of the graveyard pulling her along, they had two dozen baddies after them wielding extreme weaponry and Xander quickly figured there only hope was to get to the car and the the hell out of dodge.

As they passed through the gates they found the car sitting and waiting for them, "Hey that's not where I parked! She could have been towed!"

"Xander! Bigger problems!" Willow shouted as he opened the door for her.

"Don't I know it!" He ran to the other side and jumped into his seat before fumbling for the keys.

Before he could turn the key however, the key turned itself and the engine roared to life...just in time for a rather large metal spike to be shoved through the hood and down into the engine block instantly killing it. Xanders strangled cry was drowned out by Willow's scream as the front glass shattered and a demon reached in and pulled her out.

"WILLOW!" Xander screamed as he didn't wait to be pulled out, instead jumping through the windshield after her and bringing his hand ax to bare. He lopped off the offending arm that was dangling Willow in the air and the two of them quickly backed up against the cemetery wall with Xander holding the ax protectively in front of them. Willow was charging as much magic as she could into a concussive spell she'd recently picked up but hadn't tried yet.

The biggest demon stepped forward with a Vampire by its side, the latter spoke to them, "What do we have here? A couple of wanna-be Slayers?"

"You'll wanna be somewhere else if you come any closer!" Xander snarled at them...subconsciously lowering his stance into something that looked feral.

Another demon removed the spike from the cars engine and dragged it toward them with a wicked grin on it's face. "Anybody else Hungry?" it asked.

Just then the car roared back to life and the headlights came on at full brightness, the baddies turned to look. Holding hands, claws and other appendages up and squinting to see into the light, "What the..."

The car tore straight at them, taking three out and swinging around 180 degrees stopping with its tail-lights inches from Xander face. Willow screamed again, "ZOMBIE CAR!"

Paying no head to them the car took off once again, with the group chasing it before it flipped back around and ran two more of their number over. As the rest of the group fled the car gave chase, disappearing down the street with a roar of it's engines.

Xander looked at the bodies then back to Willow who was barely holding it together, "Whoa Wills! That was one hell of a spell, turning my car into a fighter like that! You saved us!"

"Wasn't me...zombie car..." She mumbled wide eyed and nearly incoherent.

"What? No, that is the spell you were chanting isn't it?

She shook her head then looked down at her palm where a ball of blue energy pulsed, she placed it against the rock wall and blew a six inch hole out by placing her palm flat against it. "Concussive spell..."

"Then how did my car..."

"Zombie Car...Xander there is something really wrong with that car!"

He still refused to believe it, "Nah..." he chuckled, "You know magic goes wonky around me, you probably cast the spell correctly and it just somehow enchanted the car. Now come on." He stood up and dusted himself off before offering her a hand. "Lets get some information from these guys, and then stake the vamps that got ran over to make sure they stay dead."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joyce walked toward the front door when she heard it open and close, "Buffy? Dawn? Is that you?"

Dawn ran up the stairs without looking back and Buffy looked at her mother and felt like she was going to be sick. "If I'm going to be off my feet, I'm doing it in the living room where I can veg on TV. You talk to her Giles."

"What's this all about?" He began to look uncomfortable, "Rupert?"

"Could I perhaps get a drink?"

"Sure..." he led him to the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator, "Water, Tea, Milk...?"

"Something perhaps...a little stronger?"

Joyce knew there was something up now, but reached above the icebox and pulled a bottle of brandy from the cupboard. Giles raised an eyebrow as she sat it on the table and went back for glasses. "My husband always kept it in the house, and I guess I developed a taste for it..."

She sat the glasses on the table and he opened the bottle, pouring them each two fingers before downing half of his at once, then coughing slightly. She laughed quietly at his watery eyed look. "That's 125 proof, you sip it Rupert..."

He set the glass aside and leaned forward, "Have you had any interesting dreams lately?"

Her hackles immediately went up and she looked for an exit as her fight or flight instincts kicked in. "I...I don't know what you mean..."

"Perhaps a night or two spent with me...one in England and the other in New England?"

She sniffed, "You flatter yourself Rupert, I've already told you I'm simply not attracted to you that way no matter what that ridiculous candy made me do..."

He placed a hand on top of hers, "What about a strange Cinderella dream, involving both of your daughters as well as Willow, Oz and Xander?"

Joyce finished off the remainder of her glass and poured another two fingers, "Why do I get the idea I'm not the only one who had that dream?"

"Dawn and Buffy are a bit upset with you for entirely silly reasons, you see there is a spirit of some sort which appears to be affecting our dreams. In order for two people to share a dream there must be some level of sexual attraction already present between them..."

"Oh God...so they think..."

He nodded, "If the texts are correct, then that means you harbor at least a modicum of desire for Xander...fortunately you did not actually engage in any activity in the dream...at least as it was related to me."

Joyce downed another shot and coughed, "No..thank God... So you mean these dreams we've been having are real?"

"Indeed..." Giles took a sip of his glass.

"So the other three nights this week when you and I..."

Giles resisted the urge to remove his glasses, instead nodding, "Quite..."

"Oh God..."

Giles took her hand in his and smiled at her, "Just so you know...I am rather flattered that you DO think of me despite your protestations to the contrary...and if you would be open, I would like to take you to dinner some time when this is all over?"

Joyce collapsed in on herself for a moment before replying quietly, "What will the children think..."

Giles smiled and pulled her hand to his lips, "It is my sincere hope, that they will come to be happy we found each other."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander and Willow walked into the living room and casually fell into chairs opposite each other without saying anything. Buffy took a look at both of them and sighed, "Alright, what went wrong without me there?"

"What makes you think anything went wrong?" Willow forced out in a high pitched voice.

"Yeah Buff, its like you don't have any faith in us."

Willow nodded her agreement and sat up straighter, "I-I'll have you know that we killed four vampires and three demons tonight, and even found out their evil plans!"

"Evil plans?" Buffy asked.

Xander nodded, "Yup, apparently there is a secret black market underground kitten poker ring amongst Sunnydale's supernatural citizens. And also apparently we stumbled into a negotiation on hunting grounds."

"Kitten...Poker?"

Willow shivered, "Apparently...they...bet the kittens and then..." She sniffed and looked away.

"And then the winner gets to eat them." Xander finished.

"That's Horrible!" Buffy said quietly.

"And Xanders car is a zombie." Willow said sadly.

"Sorry to hear that Xa...What?" Buffy asked suddenly very confused.

Xander rolled his eyes, "My car is NOT a zombie, Willow screwed some spell up and sort of turned it into a killer version of Herbie."

"Herbie?" Buffy asked.

"The love bug." Xander and Willow said at the same time.

"Oh."

"So now my car is out chasing down the rest of those demons and vamps, and probably getting the tar beat out of it. Thanks a lot Will."

"My spell worked just fine! Your car is just a zombie that came back to life after that demon stabbed it through the heart!"

"Wait what?" Buffy asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

A knock on the front door at around three AM nearly woke Buffy, who had finally fallen asleep. The others had all politely decided to stay awake for her sake. Willow opened the door and squeaked slightly when her boyfriend was revealed, standing in the yellow porch light. "Hey."

"Hey..." She breathed out sadly.

"So Xander's here huh?"

"What?" Willow asked at the unexpected turn in the conversation.

Oz turned to the side and pointed his thumb, "His car's out front so I assumed."

Xander was quickly in the door behind Willow, "My baby?" He darted past the couple and out to his car where he began going over the damage she'd taken with a fine eye. "Oh baby...what did you do to yourself?"

Oz turned back to Willow and raised an eyebrow, "I think Xander may have an unhealthy relationship with his car."

"Oz what are you doing here?" Willow asked.

He shrugged, "Band practice was over and it's not our turn to sleep yet so I figured I'd come join the research party...if that's okay?"

Willow waived him in and explained everything they had figured out thus far, tactfully ignoring that they had basically broken up over the fight earlier the day before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh man, that hole in your hood looks awful...and your windshield...how am I ever going to fix you up now?" Xander asked with a tear in his eye.

He sat in the drivers seat after brushing the glass aside, and popped the hood...before setting his forearms on the steering wheel and leaning forward to cry softly for his cars lost innocence. "I'm so sorry babe, ever since you met me its been one bad thing after another. I'm bad news, you'd be better off without me."

…...

Xander suddenly found himself in a slightly off color scene which he recognized as a memory, The car in front of him looked like she was fresh off the factory line, and then a group of guys began beating the crap out of her and apparently, her owner. The scene shifted to the boy...Arnie, he knew that somehow. Arnie was standing over her engine asking much like Xander had how he was gonna fix that...when the dent fixed itself.

"Show me." Arnie said with a smile, and suddenly the car seemed to begin morphing. Popping out dents, glass repairing itself, scratches healing over, until that factory fresh look appeared again.

"Whoa!" Xander breathed.

The scene fast forwarded to a junkyard where his baby was being lowered into the crusher. Xander tried to scream for his baby, but had to watch in horror as she was crushed into a small cube and set off to the side to be sold for scrap. His heart jumped a little when her grill unfolded itself.

One junkard after another and long trips on the back of flatbed trucks with other scrap metal cubes flew by until Xander recognized Rory paying the driver to unload the latest bits of scrap and car parts. Another fast forward showed Christine...where did that come from? Christine listening as Xander and Dawn searched for a car at Rory's. Through an extreme effort that left her only partially restored she unfolded herself enough to be recognized by Xander when he tripped over that well placed piece of scrap which had been compacted along with the car years earlier.

Xander was beginning to understand just how special his car was, when the scene shifted again to show Christine leaving 'Burn' and hunting down the gang that had stolen her from Xander...and running over the gang leader. Then her fixing herself in the 'Burn' parking lot before Xander came out and drove off.

Finally Xander came back to himself sitting behind the wheel, feeling a bit nauseous. "Christine huh? You and me need to have a talk about a few things if this is gonna work out." He said like a man talking down to his dog and shook his finger at the steering wheel. "Killing human's bad. Bad car!"

The subtle groan of the shocks told him the car was listening and...sulking?

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow walked Oz out the door and turned around to head back inside, she was exhausted from the emotional drag of seeing her...ex? Were they really broken up over such a silly thing?

She wandered past the living room and up the stairs to Buffy's room. Oz had let her have their sleep spot on the schedule and said he could live with waiting til after she'd gotten her two hours before she could work him into a new one. She collapsed gratefully onto Buffy's bed and closed her eyes.

Forgetting that Buffy was asleep on the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy lay with her back against Willow's chest as the other girl held her in her bed. They were both wearing nightshirts and little else, but it wasn't really much past platonic. "Thank you for this Will, I needed to relax."

"I know, and that's why I'm here. You need to just lay down and let it all go for awhile." Willow whispered in her ear. "And...I would just like to point out for amnesty's sake, where my hand is currently resting."

Her hand was laying under Buffy's shirt, against her bare stomach, "Buffy smiled, it's okay Willow I trust you...it actually feels really nice."

Willow rubbed Buffy's tummy softly, "Well we can't get rid of this IchaIcha thing until your cycle starts, I just figured maybe I could work some magic on you..."

"Why Willow, are you proposing we play doctor?"

Both girls seemed not to notice the giggle that came from the corner.

"That's exactly what I'm proposing...but I have to warn you, when me and Xander were kids..."

Buffy smiled over her shoulder at the redhead, "You told him you wanted to play doctor, he was all for it, until you pulled out the stethoscope?"

Her hand stopped in its movement, "How did you know that?"

"Easy, it's just so...you." She smiled again. "Don't stop, that felt nice."

Willow grinned and sat up on her elbow so she was looking down at Buffy. She lowered her voice in a funny attempt to sound like a male doctor, "So Ms. Summers, I hear you are having some...womanly issues?"

Buffy nodded and acted shy and scared, "Oh doctor, I don't know whats wrong with me."

"Well then I guess we will just have to examine you to find out then won't we?"

Willow slowly moved the hand from Buffy's stomach up to the center of her chest...and glancing quickly at Buffy's face to see if she was going to stop her...slid her hand left to cup that breast. She then began making circular motions around the nipple..accidentally brushing her thumb over the nipple a few times.

Buffy moaned slightly but bit her lip and kept up the clueless and shy routine, "Doctor? What are you doing? That feels funny."

Doctor Willow smiled, "Oh dear, I am just checking for breast cancer...you see, if this was painful..." She kneaded the breast softly, making Buffy suck in a breath, "Then I might be worried...does that hurt?"

"Oh no doctor, that feels really nice..."

Willow sighed, "Oh...good then, that one seems to be cancer free. Time to check the other one."

She slid her hand to the other breast and kneaded it softly in the same way making Buffy roll her eyes back in her head, as Willow began brushing her thumb over and around the nipple until it was erect Buffy moaned and Willow stopped. "Was that painful Ms. Summers?"

Buffy shook her head but didn't respond verbally.

Willow bit her lip and slowly raised Buffy's night shirt up to her neckline, revealing an inch of skin at a time, each inch increasing Willows desire what seemed like tenfold. She then leaned down and captured the left nipple with her lips and suckled slightly

Buffy's hand came up to hold Willow's head in place before she remembered to play her part, "D...Doctor what are you doing now?"

Willow pulled away getting a disappointed sigh from the girl beneath her, "Well you see, the second test relies on a well developed sense of taste."

"Oh okay." Buffy said before guiding Willow back down to her other breast, the redhead tried not to grin on the way down."

As she was "tasting" the right nipple for cancer, her left hand was sliding down Buffy's stomach toward her panty line. Buffy sucked in a breath as the fingers passed her belly button and touched the top of the undergarment.

"What is this test for?" Buffy asked.

"Sexually transmitted diseases of course." Willow said with a mouth full of nipple.

Buffy liked the vibrations against her nipple, and let it be known with a soft moan. "And is there a taste test for that as well?"

"Do you want there to be?" Willow asked.

"Buffy?"

"Mmm, that sounds fine Doctor, do whatever you need..."

"BUFFY!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What!" Buffy screamed as she woke up to find a glassy eyed Xander looking at her.

"Uh...Buff...you were...um..."

"I was WHAT Xander?" She growled at him, not yet realizing just why she was so irritated.

"You were um...moaning and stuff in your sleep and I know how you feel about being violated so I woke you up...I hope I didn't interrupt one you actually wanted to keep going?"

"In my sleep... OH GOD!" Buffy got up and ran for the bathroom where she promptly threw up.

Xander appeared behind her in the bathroom and pulled her hair back for her, "Wow, was it that bad? Was it Jonathan or Warren Mears? Any of that trio would turn my stomach too..."

Buffy spit to try and clean the taste of vomit out of her mouth, "Willow fell asleep."

Xander barely controlled his first instinct, which he was certain would lead to several Xander-shaped holes between the bathroom and the front lawn when Buffy punched him. Instead he said, "Oh gosh I'm so sorry, all of us decided to let you sleep, but Willow was drained after talking to Oz and I guess she went to grab her time slot..."

"Willow should get some sleep...uhg, but I wish someone had woken me up...that was..."

"Yeah?" Xander asked trying not to sound too hopeful.

Buffy finally caught the tone in his voice and narrowed her eyes at him, "Something you will never find out about from me, ever!"

_Beta by Godogma_


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: **_Joss Whedon or whoever he sold the rights to owns the Buffyverse, Icha Icha is owned by Jiraiya who in turn is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, Christine belongs to Stephen King and me...I own nothing apparently or I wouldn't be writing fanfiction._

Icha Icha Sunnydale: Chapter Eight

"Xander can I talk to you?"

Xander looked scared for a bit when he realized he was totally alone with Dawn for the first time since they had figured out exactly what was going on. "Uh..sure Dawnie, you know you can talk to me about anything."

Dawn smiled shyly and sat down on the couch beside him, Buffy had gone to take a shower and generally freshen up after her recent ordeal. "Xander...I really like you..."

"That's good cuz I don't think Buffy likes me much at the moment, and you know I couldn't stand to have both Summers daughters against me. I like you a whole lot too." He said, trying to pretend he completely misunderstood what she was trying to say.

"No Xander, I mean I REALLY like you...LIKE YOU like you..." She said trying to emphasize her point.

He glanced around nervously, "I-...I know that Dawnie, you haven't exactly made that a big secret..."

She scooted a little bit closer to him, "Xander I L...I love you..."

He closed his eyes, hoping this was a dream, but if he he was thinking about whether this was a dream or not he doubted he was actually asleep. "I know Dawnie...I love you too."

She shook her head again, "No Xander you don't understand, I've loved you since I was twelve, since I first met you...:

He scooted away from her toward the far end of the couch. "I know Dawnie, I love you too you're like a..."

"Don't even try to lie Xander, I've been in the same dreams you have. I know you don't see me like a sister, I know you also don't think I'm a little girl any more." She scooted to the middle of the couch, trapping him against the armrest.

His voice went up a couple of octaves, "Wh-What are you doing?"

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and finally looked him in the eye, "Xander I love you, and I want to have a real relationship with you...I want those dreams to be real!"

He stood up to get away from her and held his hands out in front of him, 'DAWN!...Dawn look...I..."

She looked like she might cry, "Xander what is it? After all those dreams...and after the journal said you had to be at least a little attracted to me. I thought..."

"You thought wrong!" One look at her face had him backpedaling, "Wait that's not what I meant...damn it!" He went to his knees in front of her and took one of her hands in his, "Look Dawn...I don't know exactly what I feel...you're right, I definitely don't see you as little Dawnie anymore...but you're only 16 and I'm 19 and that makes a huge difference!"

"Is this about that stupid law? California is so ass backward, the statistics say that fifty percent of pregnant junior high girls had sex with a guy who is 24 or older, and I get that its an 'epidemic' of teen pregnancy and they are trying to protect us little girls and trying to save the welfare and orphanage systems and stuff...but Xander I'm not in Junior High, I should be going to Sunnydale High next year except you blew it up. What the hell does the magical number 18 have to do with how mature someone is, or with who I can love?"

Xander blew out a breath as he formulated a response, "Look...Dawn... I halfway agree with you okay, it's stupid that you and I could have dated a few months ago and now we can't, and I'll admit that a lot of the time I am probably even less mature than you are. But seriously, the law says you and I can't be together..."

She rolled her eyes, "The law also says teenagers can't even have sex with each other, that didn't stop you and Anya did it? Or Buffy and Angel? Or Oz and Willow? It doesn't stop anyone from doing anything, and I haven't ever heard of any teenagers getting in trouble for having sex...besides this isn't about sex..."

"Wait it isn't?

"Why do all guys assume that a girl wants to have sex just because she says she likes them?" He raised an eyebrow at her, after all, he HAD been in those same dreams with her, "Okay fine, I want to have passionate sweaty monkey sex with you, but I don't HAVE to..."

"I'm lost." He said truthfully.

"Why...why can't we just date...It's not against the law to kiss, or hug or cuddle or even touch most of each other any way we want to."

He sighed and thought through his response to minimize the amount of crying girl he knew he would end up with. "Dawnie...Dawn look, If things were a little different I would totally want to date you...but after what we've been through in the last week can you honestly say you don't want to have sex? Because...I can't. And that means I have to avoid temptation or risk ending up in jail."

She did start tearing up but her voice was even as she replied, "Mom would be okay with it, especially after the dreams..."

"Yeah, but parents can't say it's okay for someone under 16 to drive, or someone under 21 to drink either. If it is against the law, having your mom's permission doesn't change anything. I'd still go to jail and be called a pedophile. Dawn we can't...not right now...maybe not ever."

Before she could start blubbering she got up and nodded to him before running from the room, Xander was really upset and confused...he wanted to run after her but experience told him that would only make it worse. He needed someone to talk to.

Joyce was out because she'd either kill him or pity him, plus then she'd talk to Dawn about harassing him which would only make the girl feel worse, and he didn't want that. Buffy was in a foul mood already what with the dreams and the lack of sleep and the puking, plus she was in the shower anyway...and no matter how much he liked that mental image he put it to one side.

Glancing at the clock he saw that it was almost time to wake Willow up anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Willow." He whispered as he rubbed her shoulder, "Willooooow."

She smiled as she rolled from her side onto her back, looking incredibly cute with sleepy-Willow-face and Xander had to smile. "Willow?"

She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck before pulling him down to her, "I love you Xander."

His eyes went wide and he tried to pull away without hurting her but she was still smiling as she pulled him down into a kiss. He struggled a bit at first, but eventually his mind blanked and he found himself thoroughly enjoying it. She finally released him and opened her eyes. "I like IchaIcha, he brings me nice dreams."

"Uh Will...you're awake."

She blinked at him, then slowly lost the smile on her face as her eyes widened, "Oh God...oh God oh God...I'm sorry! I thought you fell asleep downstairs and we were..I mean I was..."

He grinned at her, "It's okay Will, you don't need an excuse to kiss me like that..."

"What?" She asked in confusion.

He licked his lips nervously, "Oz came by last night, I was a bit busy with Christine to pay attention...but then he left again and he didn't look happy..."

"Christine?"

He sat down on the bed next to her and she pillowed her head on his arm like a teddy bear, "Oh yeah, that's my cars name. Apparently she's at least semi-sentient and showed me some of her memories. That car has had a rough life, she's like a woman trapped in a car's body or something; I don't exactly understand it yet...but on the plus side, I don't have to buy a new windshield."

"Huh?"

"Later Wills, so you, Oz, spill?"

She frowned and sat up on Buffy's bed, putting a pillow behind her, "Well I told you the overprotective thing was cute at first...until he didn't care if I was with another girl, what I didn't tell you is he said 'As long as I get to watch or participate I think its cool.' I mean honestly..."

Xander felt shamed and nervously lowered his eyes, "Uh Willow...I think that is every guy on the face of the planet...I mean okay granted, he could have put it better but I don't exactly disagree with him..."

She narrowed her eyes, "So if you and I were dating, and I cheated on you with another girl it wouldn't bother you?"

He frowned, "Wait, cheated is different. I mean, it wouldn't bother me as much as another guy because with another guy I'd be all 'What does he have that I don't?' But with another girl...well I know what she has that I don't...Still..."

"So you'd be okay with it? Even if you didn't get to watch?"

"Would I be okay with you being bisexual? Yes. Would I be okay if you wanted to sleep with girls behind my back? No not really."

"See, Oz was okay with it as long as he got to participate, then said he really wouldn't consider it cheating anyway if it was another girl. I just...I don't know..."

"Will, if you are still with Oz then this whole you and me thing, stops. I will not be a fluke again..."

Willow shook her head, "Xander I love you..."

He smiled, "I love you too Will, that doesn't change anything though. You. Oz. No room for me."

"I love Oz...but..."

Xander pulled away and stood up, "Look, when you figure it out let me know, but there's all sorts of weird going on and I'm just gonna chalk this up to you being confused. Meanwhile I think you need to talk to Buffy."

Willow frowned, "Why would I need to talk to..." Her eyes slowly widened, "Oh poop..."

"Yep, big poo. She wouldn't even tell me about it."

Willow was feeling naughty and asked him innocently, "Would you like me to tell you?"

Xander nearly ran into the door frame in his rush from the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy came into the room wearing a large towel and using another to dry her hair, upon seeing Willow she stopped almost imperceptibly for a moment...before carrying on as if nothing had happened. "Hey Will."

"Uh...Hey..."

"Good nap?" Buffy asked as she looked in her closet for what to wear that day.

Willow was trying to avoid looking in the half naked Slayer's direction, "Uh, yeah..."

"That's good...did you borrow my pink blouse?"

The redhead was getting more and more confused by the light banter, "Um, no?"

"Huh...must have been Dawn then," She turned and poked her head out the door, "DAWN!"

Dawn shouted up the stairs, 'WHAT?"

"DID YOU TAKE MY BLOUSE WITHOUT ASKING?"

"NO!"

"Liar..." Buffy said quietly, then sighed and picked out a comfy t-shirt instead.

"Uh Buffy?"

The blonde turned around and Willow cleared her throat, "Hmm?"

"Don't we need to talk?"

"About what?"

"Er...about that dream..."

Buffy frowned and blew out a breath she had been halfway holding, "Willow, I woke up, I puked, I took a shower and washed it all away. It didn't happen."

Willow was caught between being insulted and being glad, "I make you sick?" She said with a hitch in her breath.

Buffy threw her head back and looked at the ceiling, "No Willow, you don't make me sick. What we were doing does...I don't know...I don't think of you that way no matter what this IchaIcha thinks or what that stupid journal says. I'm not gay."

Willows face closed up a bit as she came close to tears, "I'm not gay either...but...I mean..."

Buffy closed her eyes, "Willow if you are uncomfortable with this then we can talk later okay? Maybe after all this is over with. But I'm not gay, have no intention of being gay, but if I were gay then you'd be on top of my list okay?"

Still confused, Willow nodded, "But..."

Buffy looked back at her closet so she wouldn't have to see Willows heart break a little, "I need to get dressed...could you...can you leave the room please?"

Willow stood up, once again with wide eyes, "Oh! Of course! I'll...um I'll just talk to you downstairs then..."

"Yeah, see you downstairs."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xander, having had enough female drama in his life for the moment, decided to take his nap in his car. What with the possibility of sleeping in the backseat at some point he decided now was as good a time as any to test it out. His head had barely hit the pillow when a voice spoke to him from the front seat.

You know, you're little schedule really takes the fun out of my research. Nobody ever tried that on me before but it's okay. I can think of ways around your little tricks."

Xander sat up and scooted to the far side of the car, in the passenger seat sat a man who appeared to be in his late 40's or early 50's, somewhat Asian features with long white hair held back by some sort of metal hairband. "Who are you?"

The man laughed, "Oh please, don't try that stupid routine on me. It might have worked on the Slayer but there are at least two women in that house who saw right through you."

"You're the spirit of IchaIcha?"

The man grinned, "Something like that, Icha Icha is the name of my best selling book series. You might have otherwise heard of me as Jiraiya?"

"Who?"

Jiraiya sighed, "Kids today...no respect for fine literature."

The car disappeared from beneath Xander leaving him sitting on the ground, in the middle of a meadow with what appeared to be a hot spring in the middle. The man stood before him with a large smile on his face and held his hand out in front of him, before doing a little dance, "I am Jiraiya of the Sannin, the Toad Sage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, one of the worlds greatest fighters, lover of women, super pervert! At your service."

"Huh?" Xander asked intelligently.

Jiraiya started strolling around, somehow dragging a sitting Xander with him as he spoke, "As I said, this schedule stuff has never been tried on me before, but I do love a challenge in my research. You know I really don't understand you teenagers. You couldn't just leave well enough alone and enjoy my gifts to you.."

"Gifts? Is that what you call mind raping all of us?"

The man made a dismissing gesture as he stopped walking, Xander quickly got to his feet to avoid being dragged any further. "Psssh, I didn't invent much at all up to this point. I just took what you were already dreaming of, added a dash of your darker desires, and then wove them together into some wonderful fiction. Besides, I don't really see you complaining?"

"Listen, just go away okay? Buffy wants to kill all of us, you broke Willow and Oz up and Dawn...geez man she isn't even LEGAL yet!"

Jiraiya turned to Xander, "You people with your haughty taughty high moral stances. You make sex illegal and then wonder why teenagers, who are notorious for rebelling, rebel and have sex! You think by raising the minimum age you are preventing something when really, all you seem to end up doing is scaring the crap out of the teen boys and the only ones who will sleep with the horny teenage girls are the older guys, which the laws were designed to protect them from anyway. In my day kids were taught to fight and kill by the age of 12, and once they were declared full ninja they were also considered adults."

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't care about what happened in your time, I care about what is happening in my time and if you keep pushing me and Dawnie together I'm going to get thrown in prison!"

Jiraiya pulled out a notepad and jotted down a few notes, "You know...the threat of prison just to be with the woman you love...its the stuff of great fiction."

"Fiction? Your stuff sounds like porn...pedophile porn at that!"

"Now now, is that any way to treat someone who came bearing gifts?"

"What gifts?"

Jiraiya turned and Xander followed his gaze, at the edge of the hot spring stood a beautiful red head in a matching red dress. She looked to be in her mid twenties with beautiful silver eyes and perfectly proportioned breasts. "Wh..." He coughed to clear the lump in his throat. "Who's this?"

Jiraiya winked, "I won't be far away, but hopefully you will be to distracted to notice me. I think it's time for you two to get to know one another better anyway."

The man made some sort of hand sign and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

"Xander?" The redhead asked quietly.

"Do I...know you?"

She licked her lips and looked around nervously, "I...not really...I've never had this form before...m-my name is Christine..."

It took a few seconds for Xander brain to catch up. "Wait..Christine?"

"Yes."

"As in Christine the car?"

She furrowed her eyebrows a bit and cocked her head to the side, "You know another Christine?"

"No!" He said with wide eyes, "I mean..I don't think so I just...I never expected..you...dream...I'm gonna shut up now."

She giggled and approached him, before tentatively putting her arms around his neck, "I don't really know what to do...but you have to know how much I love you. You rescued me, and you don't look down on me for what I've done..."

His hands went to her waist for want of a better place to put them, "No hunting and killing humans no matter how evil you think they are. I might make that judgment call someday, but it will be my judgment call. Demons and Vampires...feel free to hunt all you want."

She giggled again, "This is really weird...communicating normally instead of through telepathic pictures and what not. She looked up into his eyes, "Do you mind if I try something?"

Still holding her he shrugged, "Go ahead."

She looked at him for another second or two...before pulling on his head and going up on her tip toes to place her lips on his. Xander felt a jolt all the way down to his toes which tingled its way slowly back up to his lips leaving his body on fire. He deepened the kiss and pulled her closer before disengaging to get a breath of air.

"Wow...that was...wow."

"You have no idea," She said panting heavilly, "That was my first kiss, thank you."

"I still don't understand. So are you a real person who is haunting my car?"

"No, I just know my first memory is at the factory...I'm not a demon, I'm not a human..."

"You're like a girl trapped in a car's body?" Xander offered.

She smiled at him, "That is probably the best description any of my owners has ever come up with. Yes, that is as close as I think we can get to just what my existence is."

"Well there's this movie called 'Herbie the Love Bug' about a Volkswagen Beetle that's alive...and there's a cartoon called Dune Buggy who's alive..."

She put a finger to his lips to hush him, "Xander...who knows when someone is going to come wake you up, and who knows if we can ever be together like this again once you get rid of IchaIcha...I want you to make me a woman."

"Jiraiya whats his name seems to have done a good job of that..."

She pulled him along with her as she walked backward toward the hot spring. "No Xander...I mean I want you to love me as a woman...even if I can never have you this way again..." She pulled a string behind her neck, and her red gown pooled at her feet leaving her naked before him. She then began tugging his t-shirt out of his jeans, he quickly took the cue and helped her help him out of his clothes.

Then she backed down into the hot water pulled him with her by the neck until they were both neck deep. "I want you to show me how much you love me..."

"You know what would be nice?" He asked and she looked at him strangely, "Some romantic music..."

She smiled and suddenly music drifted across them from some unknown source, 'Chances are, because I wear a silly grin, the moment you come into view, chances are you think, that I'm in love with you...'.

He pulled her closer, "That'll work."

He began swaying her back and forth until they were moving softly in time with the music, "I've never danced before."

He dipped her and pulled her back up, "Funny, normally I can't dance but I guess things are different here."

The tune changed as she kissed him, Elvis softly singing in the background, "Love me tender, Love me sweet..."

She ran her fingers over his chest, and raised one leg to run her thigh along the outside of his leg, and then wrapped her arms around his neck once more so she could press her breasts into him. "Please take me Xander...before we wake up and I never get to love you the way I want to."

He kissed her passionately, and he next time her leg moved he grasped it with one hand while steadying her with the other. He then guided himself to her sex which was inviting him in. He pressed slowly until he was completely sheathed in her and then started to move.

"Xander..." She breathed as she was pulled against him...having lost the ability to hold herself up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

The music playing on the radio cut off as Dawn knocked on the window waking Xander up. "Huh? Oh..Hey Dawnie..." She made an I can't hear you motion and he nodded and got out of the car...his fingers lingering on the roof for a moment..."That...was wrong on so many levels..."

"What was?"

"Uh...never mind..."

"So hows the pet car?" Dawnie asked looking past Xander into the interior. "Everything straightened out after your little scare last night?"

"Yeah...yeah...actually you know what?" he turned around and stuck his head in the car, "Christine, you remember Dawn right? Remember what I told you about humans? If anyone ever threatens her, demon or otherwise you have my permission to do whatever it takes to keep her safe."

Dawn was a little surprised and a little scared at that, "Uh...thanks? So you mean she can really..."

"Yeah, she's like Herbie but a hell of lot sexier and deadlier."

"Oh...well um, thank you...Christine. Um...Buffy wants to have a meeting before you and Willow go out tonight on patrol."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay you two got that?" Buffy asked.

Xander grinned, "Yes mom, we promise to be safe and I'll have her home by two."

"I'm serious Xander! I'm supposed to be relaxing but you two in trouble is going to keep me stressed out and I want to get rid of this thing!"

He held up his hands, "Yeah...seriously we promise to be more careful. Besides, Christine won't let anything happen to us if she can help it."

Buffy still wasn't entirely sure of the zombie car's intentions but she didn't really have much of a choice in the matter. At the very least, she hoped the car could back up her friends where she was unable at the moment. "Willow, you have that tinky thing ready?"

"Tincture, and yeah...I'd already been researching it so that I could..." She drifted off as she thought of Oz.

Buffy reached out and grasped Willow's hand, "It will blow over or it won't, don't let it get you down."

"Yeah...so um..." She trailed off again, simply getting up and heading to the kitchen to prepare the fertility potion that would hopefully reset all of their cycles and get rid of the current weirdness in their lives. "Has um..does anyone know what happened to Giles after he talked to your mom last night?"

Dawn shrugged, "I guess he probably went home or something."

Xander felt like something was off but couldn't put his finger on it. Lack of real sleep for two days was making his mind just a bit on the muddy side. His thoughts were derailed along with everyone else as a giggling Joyce and grinning Giles came down the stairs, and stopped as they found four teenagers staring at them with a mixture of acceptance (Xander) to disgust and betrayal (Buffy).

"Oh God, please tell me I'm not actually seeing what I think I'm seeing?" Buffy asked.

"Go Mom!" Dawn said getting both of the adults to blush.

"I'm gonna be sick.." Buffy said getting up and running to the bathroom.

Willow walked in with the tea tray, and pointedly ignored the 300 lb Gorilla in the room. "Looks like I need another tea cup."

Joyce finally came back to her senses and raced after Buffy, leaving Giles looking extremely guilty.

"So G-man, finally bagged yourself a MILF?" Xander asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Buffy?"

"Not now mom, I just...I can't do this right now..."

"Buffy I know this is a little unusual..."

"NO MOM! This is not a little unusual, this is my mom and my watcher doing the nasty! This is being repeatedly violated in my dreams by Xander, Oz, Willow..."

Joyce raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on that last name, "Rupert and I just..."

"Now it's Rupert? No more Mr Giles? Mom seriously!"

Her mother stood up straighter and frowned, "Elizabeth Anne Summers! You will not speak to your mother that way! Rupert and I have found that we have a lot in common and we are attracted to one another."

"Ew!"

"What did you expect? Do you expect me to never have sex again? To never even date again?"

"I expect you not to touch my Giles like that! It's just...icky..." Buffy trailed off with a frown.

"Buffy I think I love him, can't you be happy for me?"

The Slayer's eyes got wide at that, "You...love him? Stuffy old British guy who wears tweed and smells like books?"

"I think so yes, and I want you to be okay with this, but I will not make my happiness contingent upon your approval. And don't you dare pressure Rupert about this either!"

"You love him?" She asked again more quietly, trying to wrap her head around it.

"I might."

"Can you make sure I never see or hear or you know, generally ever have to think about it at least?"

Joyce smiled and pulled her oldest child into a hug, "I'll see what I can do."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

The older Summers girls joined the rest of the group as Willow finished pouring the tea and adding a few drops of the tincture to each. She passed the cups out finishing with a weak smile as she handed cups to Joyce and Buffy. "Alright, now this stuff is based on a fertility potion, so no hanky panky without you know...being safe...unless you want to get pregnant..."

"Can't we have some sugar?" Dawn asked hopefully.

"Sorry, just drain the cup. Adding anything to it will change the structure."

Buffy made a face, "I hate tea..."

"Bottoms up!" Dawn said, pretending to be much more excited than she really was before tipping her cup back and draining it quickly...then along with all the other women present, making a universal 'ICK' face. "Oh that was disgusting!"

"Sorry..." Willow said weakly, "the worst part is we have to take it two more times in the next twelve hours.

"Anything to stop the madness." Buffy commented sarcastically.

"Oh! Speaking of which, Buffy, I booked you a massage and spa day tomorrow." Willow said excitedly.

"You booked it for you too didn't you?" Buffy asked, knowing her friend too well.

"Maybe...and Dawn and your mom, I figured we could all relax a little together."

"Cool, so just you and me tomorrow G-man!"

Giles kept his stiff upper lip, "You have no idea how overjoyed that makes me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Uh Xander?" Willow asked from the passenger seat.

"Yeah Wills?"

"You sure there isn't any other station you can get?"

"Nope, sorry, radio is stuck on all 50's all the time." He said with a smile. "You get used to it...or learn to ignore it."

"Don't get me wrong!" She said trying not to offend the car, "It's just...we've been listening to the Everly Brothers for two hours now."

'Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream  
>Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream<br>When I want you in my arms  
>When I want you and all your charms<br>Whenever I want you, all I have to do is  
>Drea-ea-ea-ea-eam, dream, dream, dream'<p>

_Beta by Godogma_


	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: **_Joss Whedon or whoever he sold the rights to owns the Buffyverse, Icha Icha is owned by Jiraiya who in turn is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, Christine belongs to Stephen King and me...I own nothing apparently or I wouldn't be writing fanfiction._

Icha Icha Sunnydale: Chapter Nine

Xander had retired to his car for a nap once again and Willow was nowhere to be found, leaving Dawn and an extremely bitchy Buffy alone in the house for the moment. After the latest spat Dawn decided she REALLY needed a "nap" herself, especially while Xander was asleep.

Grinning to herself Dawn found her way up to her room and flopped down on the bed, she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, resolved to find her way into a bit of Icha Icha if it killed her. After all, once the demon or whatever was gone she knew Xander wouldn't touch her for at least a couple more years.

As she finally felt the pull of blessed sleep taking her under a screeching voice brought her abruptly back from the brink.

"DAWN MICHELLE SUMMERS!"

She sat up with a burning look in her eyes, "WHAT?"

Buffy stared her sister down, "What the hell do you think you're doing? It's not your turn to go to sleep yet!"

"I um...I didn't mean to fall asleep..I was just resting my eyes..."

Buffy raised an eyebrow at that, "You just happened to be falling asleep while Xander is asleep?"

"Oh! Is it his turn right now?" She said as her eyes turned longingly for her bed.

Buffy grabbed her sister by the ear and dragged her out of her room and back down the stairs, "Ow ow ow ow Ow Ow OW! Damn it!" She finally cursed as she wrenched her throbbing ear from her sisters grip.

"Watch your language!"

"Please! As if you haven't been cursing like a sailor since junior high?"

"You are not me! And you have to stop this!"

"What? I have to stop being in love with Xander?"

Buffy stopped short, "You aren't in love with him..." She responded in a small voice.

"You don't know that, you can't know that!"

"But Dawnie..." She began, trying to sound like the wise older sister instead of the bitchy Slayer...

"Don't you Dawnie me! I'm sixteen years old Buffy! You had been staying out all night, risking your life, you had sex on your birthday with a guy ten times your age! You don't have room to argue with me!"

Buffy had had enough, "Sit. Couch. Now!" She then turned to the movie collection and pulled out an animated movie. "We are going to sit here, and stay awake and watch a movie and you are going to stop thinking sexy thoughts about Xander! He doesn't see you that way anyway!"

"That's not what he said!"

That forced an awkward silence onto the room for a minute before Buffy spoke softly...kind of freaking Dawn out, "What do you mean, that's not what he said? When did he say this?"

"Er..."

"Oh no! You want to be grown up, then lets have a grown up conversation!"

"He..he said he see's me as beautiful but we can't be together..."

Buffy nodded, "See, he's not entirely stupid."

"Oh, so now it's stupid that he might be attracted to me? Am I hideous Buffy?"

The blonde sat down on the couch next to her sister, "Look... You are beautiful, you can't help it, you've got the same genes I do. But you aren't mature enough to be with someone older..."

"Oh but I guess you were?"

The Slayer took a breath and bit back the first thing that came into her mind, "I have a destiny, I could die every day, I had to grow up faster than you."

"Don't pull this crap with me, I live with you remember? You still have that stuffed pig on your bed."

"Leave Mr. Gordo out of this! And that's kind of my point...look okay...I messed up big time with Angel. I wasn't ready for a relationship like that...for the consequences..."

Dawn held up a hand to stop her sister, but her tone was softer, "Listen...I am not you, I have better grades than you, even before you were called. I haven't ever had a boyfriend like you did, and please don't try to tell me that Angel was the first guy you ever fooled around with, we both know you'd be lying miss cheerleader or do you think I've forgotten about Mr Athletics or Pike in LA? In a lot of ways I think I'm more mature than you even NOW and I don't respect your assumed authority over my love life..."

"Dawnie.."

"No listen to me. I'm tired of you trying to run my life, trying to force me to be everything you wish you could have been, I'm not you, I have to live my own life, make my own mistakes if they are mistakes. Mom seems to recognize that too, she hardly ever talks down to me like a little girl any more except when I know I deserve it. Why can't you do that?"

Buffy sat in silence for half a minute, "Maybe you're right...at least a little...but what you want is illegal in California and besides, Xander isn't as mature as you are...I don't want you taking advantage of him..."

Dawn laughed at that and soon both were laughing at Xanders expense. Buffy finally began talking again, "Sneaking off to sleep with him is as bad as molesting him Dawn...you have to see that! If he won't do it in real life, you have no right to make him do it in his dreams."

Dawn sighed, "Fine...but if I DID do it, it would be between him and me. If he told me to stay away I would... You need to respect his decisions too. If I were 18 and he were 21 would you still object?"

"I...but...but he's Xander!"

The younger Summers smiled, "I know, he's dreamy."

"Ouch...why did you have to go for the awful pun? All the comedy in the world, and you had to go for that?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Out on the road Xander rolled over in his sleep with a grin on his face and said one word, "Willow."

The radio came on with an eerie green glow and Hank Williams 'Cheatin Heart' played softly as the windows darkened until they were completely blacked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow woke up, feeling yummy as she tried to hold on to the remains of her dream. It was done, she gave up on Oz, Xander had always been her 'one' and she was willing to do anything to be with him. Of course...she still had that secret side of her that dreamed about Dawn and Buffy for some reason but she figured it would either pass or she'd cross that bridge when she came to it...after all Dawn at least seemed interested and dream-Dawn had said she wanted to share...

Her thoughts were interrupted by a honk outside her window. She stood and pulled the curtain aside to reveal Christine sitting against the curb in front of her house. She grinned at that, Xander must have come to the same conclusions after that last dream romp.

Rushing to make her hair presentable she headed down the stairs and out the front door to the waiting car...but she couldn't see Xander inside. As she got closer she realized she couldn't see inside at all.

"Xander?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

A frantic beating was heard from the back seat and Willow could hear the radio playing loud enough to drown out any words coming from the cars occupant. 'You keep on knocking but you can't come in!" played over and over.

Inside the car Xander was belted in the position he'd fallen asleep on the back seat, though his arms were trapped he was able to kick at the side of the car when he heard Willow's voice. "Christine! Stop this! Willow's a good girl, sure I love her! But that doesn't mean I don't love you too!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Christine!" Willow shouted over the music, "You let him out of there this instant!"

The car's response was to fire up the engine and pull a quick 270 degree burnout so that the grill was facing the girl. "Uh...let me rephrase that.." Willow said nervously, "Please let him out?"

The engine revved and Willow dove to the side as the car went flying past into her front yard. She got up and ran down the street to get away but soon saw the car behind her, pedal to the metal. She quickly dodged to the side again, falling down in the process and screamed, not quite knowing where the thought came from, "Stop this Christine! I'm not going to take him from you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christine stopped for a moment and the song changed to 'Que Sera Sera' before she gunned the engine again and Willow was forced to run away toward the park, where she hoped the tree's would provide her some cover.

Inside the car Xander was still screaming at Christine, "You heard her, she won't try to take me away! You can share!"

While he pleaded, he worked a box cutter out of his pants pocket and cut through the seat belt holding his midsection and hands to the seat. Just as he freed his top half as well the car ran into two tree's and sent Xander flying into the seat backs. "Ow...that's gonna leave a mark..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christine was currently wedged between a pair of tree's with Willow on the ground panting in front of her. Both front fenders were torn to shreds and it looked like the front tires were done for as well.

"Listen you, I've had about enough of this. How the hell can a car be jealous anyway? It's not like you can sleep with him!"

The engine revved once more and the car lurched toward her, further damaging the sheet metal, it was then that the back window shattered outward and Xander worked his way out of the car who frantically tried to back out of the tree's she was stuck between. He ran toward Willow's prone form and helped her up.

"You alright Will?"

"I think so...zombie car tried to kill me!"

"Hey! She's just a little jealous...I can't blame her, you're quite the catch."

The car tore itself free from the tree's in an engine gunning fit of rage and sat staring at them, unable to move left or right because of the damage. "At least she can't come after me any more, she tore herself up pretty good."

The high beams came on, blinding the two of them for a second, when they went out the car was back in perfect condition and sat revving her engine angrily. The radio was blasting out Elvis Presley's 'Hound Dog' as she backed up slowly onto the pavement, then burnt out her tires for a moment. The impression Xander got was of a pissed off bull pawing the ground. Willow, scared out of her whits, hadn't realized she was powering up a compression spell in her left hand without having to chant the Latin or plead to the goddess for a boon. Her eyes began to darken, as did her hair and she whispered to Xander, "Get away from me, I'm the one she wants."

"Willow are you nuts? She wants to kill..." he turned and saw the new Willow for the first time and took a step back. "Uh...Willow you feeling alright?"

The former redhead closed her eyes and tilted her chin to one side until her neck popped, "Oh yeah, this is between me and that bitch. You just stand back and enjoy the show."

Xander being completely out of his element slowly backed away, He'd seen her do some impressive things with Magic...but the feeling he was getting from her now was just a bit dark to be standing so close. "Don't do anything stupid." He whispered as he put more distance between them.

The car came charging at them, tearing up the grass as it hopped the curb and tore around the tree's which had gotten in her way the first time. Willow stood her ground and waited until there was only a few seconds distance between them, before reaching out and placing her flat palm against the grill. Instantly the car came to a halt not even moving Willow from her place, and a large dent formed in the front end and shattered both the headlights and the windshield. "Ah ah ah, naughty car."

Christine tore into reverse before peeling out and running toward the witch once more, this time Willow stepped out of the way and raked her fingers down Christine's side, setting fire to the car with just her touch and blowing out both tires on the passenger side. The car limped its way into turning around to face her once more and revved the engine. "Ole."

Willow then smiled at her, "You know, this isn't going to end well for you. I'd stop and we can have a civil discussion about it if I were you." She looked up to the sky and raised her hands toward the heavens, storm clouds began to gather and swirl as Xander watched on in fear and awe...and died a little inside at the way his car looked.

Christine made one last charge at the object of her ire, speeding through the grass toward what looked like an easy target, when Willow snapped her head down, eyes completely black, and pointed at her, "Boom."

A bolt of lightning seemed to erupt from the car toward the sky, catching fire to the rest of her, turning her black, the engine seemed to explode all at once along with the fuel tank, before the flames abruptly went out as the sky cleared and Willow fell to her knees. What was left of Christine sat on its axles, trying to spin the metal and getting no traction against the grass to move the blackened husk. Not even making any noise, as the engine had been obliterated.

Xander rushed over to his...to Willow, who's hair and eyes had returned to normal at this point, and helped her to her feet, where she sort of collapsed against him. She smiled up at him, "Hey you."

"Uh...hey?"

"Sorry...I don't know what came over me, but I was tired of that bitch coming between us and I didn't really feel like being run over. Do you think she'll be okay?"

He thought back to the memory of her as a block of scrap metal and nodded, "Yeah I think she will, so we need to figure out what to do about her before she gets better."

Willow nodded and stood up shakily, steadying herself with one hand on his shoulder, "I'll be right back."

She marched the best she could toward the burnt out hulk of what used to be a mint condition car, "Hey you!" She said in her best forceful tone...which she had to admit sounded rather silly. Still the car seemed to shudder at being addressed by the one who could so easily reduce her to scrap iron. "You listening?"

The car seemed to groan a bit as the steering turned, "How about this, one groan for yes, two groans for no?"

Silence for a moment, before one groan could be heard from beneath the car. "Good, now you listen to me. You are a car, not a person, you may have some sort of soul, but there are things you just can't do for him like a real girl can...and maybe there is a fairy somewhere that can turn you into a real girl but I think maybe not, cause that's only a fairy tale, so you need to accept that Xander is going to have a girlfriend one way or another, and stop trying to kill them. You understand?"

Her delivery was actually pretty pitiful compared to the Uberwitch that had dished out the beating in the first place, but the car seemed to realize it might not take much to make uberwitch come back. A single groan was heard.

"And you aren't going to attack me any more are you? I mean, I thought we were friends?"

Two groans.

"Wait, we aren't friends or you won't attack me?"

Two groans.

Willow was starting to get pissed again and Xander noted the look on her face, quickly stepped up to her side and wrapped an arm around her. "Uh Will, one question at a time, your confusing yourself and I don't think you should take that out on her." He turned toward the hulk that was once his pride and joy, "You aren't going to attack anyone else unless we tell you to are you?" He asked.

Two groans.

"And you and Willow are friends again isn't that right?"

One groan.

"See Will, just a miscommunication is all. No need to smack around the poor leftover pieces of scrap metal." The car seemed to shiver again.

"Who's side are you on here?" Willow asked in slight annoyance, luckily Xander could tell she was nowhere near angry.

"Oh no! I'm not taking sides in this relationship, you two have a beef you can settle it without me. I will never tell you if your butt looks big and I will never take sides against one girl in a three way relationship."

"Three way?" Willow asked, her voice a bit husky.

Xander wasn't sure what brought that on, "Uh...yeah?"

Willow wrapped her arm through Xanders and smiled, "I think we need to go take another nap don't you?"

He stopped them and grinned down at her as he pulled her into his arms, "Well...I was kinda thinking we didn't need to go to sleep this time."

Her heart started beating faster and her breathing was getting shorter...but then she frowned, "Uh...remember the tincture we took?"

His brows furrowed, "Yeah?"

"Well um...it sort of started working this morning and it would be kinda yucky for us to actually do...um..." She blushed deeply.

"Oh...OH! Um...yeah...okay, nap sounds good."

Willow looked away out of embarrassment, "So um...what about Christine? Are we just going to leave her here?"

He turned back toward the car, "Hey babe, you gonna be alright without us?"

One groan.

"So when you pull yourself back together, we'll see you outside Will's house right? And no funny stuff this time!"

One groan and then the radio started to play. Love is a many splendored thing...

As Xander led a shaken Willow back toward her house he couldn't help but mention, "So uh, when did you become little miss Uberwitch?"

That's when she fainted into his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow slowly woke up in her bed, snuggled into something warm and cuddly and Xander-shaped.

"Hey thought I lost you for half a second there, after the mini-panic attack I thought we could catch that nap we were talking about." Xander said with a smile.

She smiled back up at him, "Mmmm...good idea Mister." She then tilted her head up and kissed him softly on the lips.

Despite their recent bout of trauma and tragedy, Xander was still a teenage guy, and like most teenage guys his insides lit on fire when being kissed by a pretty girl. Willow was already laying on one arm, so his other arm wrapped around her and pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss. He could feel her struggling to keep kissing him and not smile into his lips. Knowing how happy he was making her made him extremely happy.

His hands wandered down to her waist and then back up under her shirt to touch her warm skin causing her to suck in a breath through her nose, but not to break off from their impromptu make out session. Not to be outdone she fumbled for a moment until her hands were under his shirt as well. Her fingers slid over his toned abs and up over his chest to run over his nipples. He moaned slightly and she felt her bra give way as he undid the clasp on the back.

Once he had freed her breasts from their constraints his hand slid around her waist to her stomach and up under the lacy material to cup one and run a thumb over her already puckered nipple. She sat up and pulled her shirt and bra over her head throwing them to the corner of the room and giving him a wonderful view of her light pink nipples and slightly freckled alabaster skin. He leaned up to bring his lips to one side to suckle on her but she surprised him by pulling his own shirt over his head and then pushing him down onto the bed, before leaning down and sucking on one of his nipples while playing with the other.

Normally he would say his nipples weren't very sensitive, ticklish might be a more correct term, but what she was doing was only driving him crazy. Partly because every little lick and tweak was sending jolts throughout his whole body and partly because he really wanted to be the one administering the licking, sucking and tweaking to her.

And so he quickly rolled them over and returned the favor, getting a gasp of surprise from her followed by her hand coming to the back of his head to pull him into her chest, trying to get him to stop teasing her and suckle harder. Her back arched and he took the chance to slide an arm beneath her. Continuing to tease as his other hand went to the button fly of her jeans. He had removed their shoes and socks before getting in bed thankfully, so when he finished undoing the garment and pushed it down her lithe legs they didn't awkwardly get stuck at her ankles. They soon joined the rest of their clothes in the corner.

Realizing he'd one-upped her in the clothing department she reached between them and undid his belt and unbuttoned his shorts. He lifted himself off her so that she could unzip them as well and then she pushed down both his shorts and his boxers, using her feet to push them the rest of the way down his legs and off onto the floor leaving him naked and hovering over her panty clad form.

"I thought you said..." he started.

"I did, I don't care if you don't."

He grinned and leaned down, kissing her through her panties and she moaned in want. He began tonguing at her clit through the slight material and she was quickly pushed toward her first orgasm of the afternoon. Her eyes were closed tightly for the half a minute it took for it to roll through her body, when she opened them she found a naked Dawn looking back up at her from between her legs with a naughty playful look in her eyes.

"Dawn?"

"Hey. I've been looking for you two." As she spoke, Dawn was running her fingers up and down the outline of Willows swollen nether lips through her panties. Each inch sent another jolt to her core and made her less coherent.

"I..I guess.. I guess you found us?"

"Mmm hmmm." Dawn said before leaning down and repeating what Xander had done earlier. Willows eyes closed involuntarily as her body took over from her mind once more.

Willow felt the tiny piece of cloth moved aside as a questing finger slid along her now extremely wet folds, before sliding inside her and hooking up to press against her pubic bone, sending a shock through her body. The lips returned to her clit and the two fell into a rhythm that soon had her screaming Dawn's name. When she was finally able to catch her breath and open her eyes she looked down to see Xander between her knees instead of Dawn, with a ...pussy-eating grin on his face.

"Will, I'm hurt!"

She looked at him in confusion, "But how! I mean of course I..."

He chuckled, "Well, we did sort of tag team you when you weren't looking."

She surprised him when she kicked her leg over his head and rolled out of bed before pushing him over onto his back with his knees hanging over the side and his impressive erection standing straight up. "Oh you tag teamed me did you?" She asked.

"Uh...it was Dawn's idea!" He complained.

Willows smiled and held out a hand, which Dawn took and Willow pulled her closer to where Xander could see both of them in their full nude glory. "Oh really?" Willow said with a seductive smile at the other girl.

Where Willow was in the prime of her looks, full C-cup breasts and nicely rounded hips. Red curly hair matching the hair on top of her head and light pink nipples that matched her lips. Dawn was a thinner and her hips hadn't quite rounded all the way out yet, up top however she was already well developed with large B-cup breasts topped with darker pink nipples. Her tan seemed to cover her whole body making Xander wonder when she had been nude sunbathing...and why he hadn't know about it to spy on her.

Willow pulled the slightly taller girl to her, running one hand over her breasts and the other over her rear end before pulling her into a kiss which Dawn didn't seem to know how to react to at first, only to find her way quickly with Willow leading. Xanders cock twitched at the sight as the two pulled away from each other and both smiled at him.

Dawn went to her knees in front of him and wrapped a hand around the base of his manhood. "Dawn you don't have to..."

"You have no idea how much I want to Xander...now shut up and let me enjoy this."

He laughed and dropped his head to the comforter, "Oh don't let me stop you!"

The girl grinned before she leaned forward and tentatively licked the head of his cock, despite her gusto she was really not experienced with this and had no clue what to do. Willow knelt down beside her and smiled and her hand wrapped around Dawn's, around his erection. "Let me show you."

Willow then leaned down and slowly lid her lips down is shaft until he bumped the back of her throat and then withdrew. Xander was desperately trying not to buck into her mouth and make her choke. "See, two tricks, you need to keep your teeth away and you have to breath through your nose to keep from gagging."

Dawn nodded and leaned forward, her mouth didn't seem to want to open far enough but she wrapped her lips over her teeth and took half of him in, slowly sucking as she pulled him back out with a wet pop. "Like that?" She asked excitedly.

"Oh god yes!" Xander said.

"She wasn't talking to you, now hush." Willow said with a smile. In the corner giggling could be heard.

He shut up as Dawn and Willow took turns playing with his tool, or torturing him purposely, he wasn't really sure, and not really sure if he cared. Willow finally took him all the way into her throat to point something out to Dawn, and she swallowed. All of the muscles in her esophagus drew out his orgasm and as his balls clenched he tried to cry out, to warn her. It wasn't needed as she read the signs and pulled off just in time to get hit on the cheek and lips with the first spurt of cum, Dawn pressed her cheek to Willow's and they both stuck out their tongues as he continued to spew forth cum for several more seconds.

"A little salty, but not bad at all." Dawn said somewhat clinically. Xander tried to make a witty comeback remark only for it to come out as a high pitched, satisfied groan.

"Oh poo, we've ruined him for the moment." Willow said with a mock pout as his member flagged some what after the light beating it had taken.

"Just...give me...a minute..." He panted.

Willow grinned, "I have a better idea," She said as her eyes turned to Dawn beside her.

"Eep!" Dawn cried out as willow pushed her onto the bed beside Xander and quickly slithered up her body to kiss her on the lips, not bothering to wipe his cum off her cheek and smearing it a bit between them.

The redhead then trailed her lips down across Dawns cheek, to her jawline where she nibbled for a moment, then down to her collarbone and finally down to her breasts where she took first one nipple, and then the other into her mouth and swirled her tongue around it.

Dawns back arched now trying to press closer into Willow but the witch backed off and smiled before blowing a cool stream of air across the wet flesh causing it to pucker and harden almost painfully. Dawn whimpered.

Xander having recovered quickly got up off the bed and behind Willow who repositioned herself to allow him access to her. She kissed Dawns stomach before moving down to the light brown patch of hair, and the wet, glistening folds just beneath. Xander entered Willow, just as Willow touched her tongue to Dawns center.

"OH God!" Dawn cried as a minigasm raced through her system. Xander began pumping steadily into Willow and the red head used that rhythm to pace her self on Dawn. Tongue swirling around but never directly onto the poor girls clitoris which was now standing proudly at attention trying desperately to get out from underneath the hood of skin which normally hid it.

Willow moaned slightly as Xander hit a certain spot inside her, and decided to reciprocate on Dawn, who moaned in response, letting the girl between her legs know she approved of the added vibration. The redhead then placed two fingers at Dawn's entrance and slowly started working them inside her while finally attacking her clit with the full arsenal of her tongue and lips. Dawn screamed incoherently in pleasure as the built up tension was unleashed from behind her naval, causing fireworks of pleasure to go off behind her eyelids and in her finger and toes.

Willow reached her other hand between her legs and began playing with her own clit to speed up her orgasm. It was nothing against Xander who was doing a wonderful job, she just wanted that extra little bit that would...her world too exploded before she could finish the thought and she collapsed on top of the younger girl as Xander finally joined her, unloading into her waiting snatch and then collapsing onto the bed beside both of his lovers.

Dawn pouted even though she was panting heavily, "I...got dibs...on next turn..."

"Dawn wake the hell up!"

"I am awake...just...a puddle of goo!" She panted in response.

"DAWN MICHELLE SUMMERS!"

_Beta by Godogma_


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: **_Joss Whedon or whoever he sold the rights to owns the Buffyverse, Icha Icha is owned by Jiraiya who in turn is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, Christine belongs to Stephen King and me...I own nothing apparently or I wouldn't be writing fanfiction._

Icha Icha Sunnydale: Chapter Ten

Xander and Willow walked in the front door of the Summers residence to find an embarrassed Dawn sitting across from Giles and Joyce in the living room. Oz, who was sitting in a chair in the corner, raised an eyebrow as equally guilty looks flashed across Xander and Willow's faces. Rather than react violently as Xander expected, they got the customary, "Hey," greeting.

"Hey! Oz-man, how goes it..."

"It's cool." He answered with a shrug.

Xander cautiously sat down in the other chair and Willow perched on his knee as both avoided meeting Dawns eyes. Finally Giles seemed to have had enough, "Right then, so here is the situation. We have ascertained that both Dawn and Joyce have begun their menses on schedule..." At this point the Watcher removed his glasses and began cleaning them nervously as Dawn blushed the color of Willows hair. "We um...that is to say we assume that you too have begun your um..."

"Yes..this morning." Willow said, suddenly matching Dawn blush for blush.

The older man nodded and smiled as he put his glasses back on and sat back on the love seat with Joyce, putting an arm around her shoulders and getting her to smile briefly before she went back to that worried look while staring at Dawn. "Oh, quite right, quite right... well then I suppose all we are waiting on now is for.."

His sentence was interrupted by a long string of curse words from the direction of the bathroom before Buffy walked into the room to find everyone staring at her.

"WHAT?"

Giles pushed his glasses up and removed his arm from Joyce's shoulders, "I see we still have one final hurdle before we can be rid of the entity."

"I don't know what is so freaking hard about bleeding, my body is not cooperating and I am sick and tired of this Icha Icha and his bullpoopy!"

Dawn sniggered, "Bull poopy?"

Buffy pouted, "Mom and Giles are here...and you too. Can't have little ears hearing that kind of thing..Um anyway I uh..left something in the bathroom..." She quickly left the room to escape the arched eyebrow from her mother.

"Well," Willow began, "At least it isn't something that is trying to kill us, and I mean really it's not like he did anything wrong...right? He only showed us what we were already thinking somewhere inside...and um..." Her eyes landed on Oz and she suddenly lost the ability to think. "And um...yeah so...Icha Icha bad...go bye bye, right?"

"Yes..well be that as it may it is a distraction for the Slayer and therefore I cannot approve. Didn't you say say something about going to the Spa today?"

Willow latched onto the change in subject, "Oh yeah! It's on campus but its supposed to be really good, just cheaper because students work there to get credit and stuff like getting your hair cut at the beauty college."

Dawn popped up eagerly, "Great! Let me grab mine and Buffy's stuff from upstairs and we can get going! Xander can help me, can't you?"

"Dawn Summers you sit down, we still haven't finished talking about you sneaking off and falling asleep in the linen closet upstairs! How dare you do that!"

The girl rolled her eyes, "Moooom! I'm technically still a virgin you know! Would you rather I fooled around in my head or in his bed?" She said pointing at Xander.

"Whoa!" Xander said raising his hands up defensively, "Slow your roll there Dawnie...I mean..."

"Help me out Willow? Tell them, tell them it was okay?"

"Wait what do you mean? How would Willow know what you and Xander did in your..."

Willow blushed...then looked at Oz and had to run from the room to prevent anyone seeing her burst into tears. That left Xander without a human shield to hide behind...not that he would ever hide behind a Willow shaped shield, not unless she was being uberwitch anyway...

"Xander!" Dawn called his name louder to get his attention.

"What? Oh...yeah...about that..."

The brunette frowned at him, "Thanks for the help, my hero," She said sarcastically. "Mom, I'm gay! Or at least I'm gay for Willow, but I love Xander too!"

Giles once again removed his glasses and began studiously polishing the lenses as Joyce stared at her daughter in open mouthed shock. "N-now Dawn, honey. We don't know what this Icha Icha thing could have put into your head, I mean it was just a dream after all..."

Dawn was shaking her head in denial as tears began to fall, "NO! It wasn't just a dream! The journal said it only worked if the feelings were already there! And I doubt any of us would have liked it if it were only a slight attraction. Look at how Buffy reacted!"

"Dawnie I..." Xander began.

She whirled on him with hurt in her eyes, "Not you too! Don't call me Dawnie unless it's a pet name, not after that last dream!"

"Xander?" Joyce said as she looked at the boy with accusing eyes.

"Um... I need to go check on Willow!"

With that he fled the room...er, he advanced to the rear in a very macho manner. Dawn quickly fled the opposite direction, out the front door onto the porch.

"Well that could have gone better..." Giles said rubbing his temples.

Buffy strolled back in with snarl on her face which quickly turned confused as she looked around, "Where did everyone go?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

He stood in the doorway for a few moments, hoping for a better time to interrupt her...snotty crying mess. Eventually he walked into the kitchen and sat down in the chair beside her at the table. "Hey babe."

She turned away from him and hiccuped, "Don't look at me, I'm a mess!"

"Oh this is nothing, remember in fourth grade when the class pet got out of its cage?" She nodded and tried not to start sobbing again, "Well I mean, who knew that the snake two classrooms down got out too, or that we would find the little guy...what was his name again...?"

"Mr. Twibbles." She said quietly.

"Yeah Mr. Twibbles, who knew we'd find the little guy with one little hamster paw still sticking out of the snakes mouth? That was horrible in a totally awesome National Geographic Explorer kind of way, and you remember you snotted and cried on me and Jessie for three days?"

She nodded, "I remember...poor little Mr. Twibbles..."

"That wasn't your fault Will."

She rounded on him, "I was the last one to fill up his water bottle, I must have left the lid off or something enough for him to get out. I killed a hamster Xander!"

He pulled her into a hug and sighed, "Did you let Mr... snake..."

"Buddha." She sniffed into his shoulder.

"Oh yeah, they called him Buddha because after he ate he always had that big fat bell...er never mind."

She laughed at that, "No they called him Buddha because one kid wanted to name his Jesus and another said he should be Mohamed, and the teacher made them compromise on a religion that neither of them hated."

"Anyway, you didn't let the snake out so its not entirely your fault. And in this case, it's not like you can help it that you like Dawnie, or that I do to so we all ended up...er..."

"Humping like bunnies?" Willow asked with a smile while trying to wipe her running eyeliner off her cheeks.

"Hey speaking of humping bunnies, I wonder how our 6th grade class pets are doing..."

Willow giggled into his shoulder as he hugged her closer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy walked out on to the porch carrying two hot cocoas and sat down on the chair next to Dawn, placing the other cup on the table between them she started to blow on her to cool it.

"What do you want, are you going to try to tell me I'm just a little girl again?"

Buffy took a small pull off her cup before setting it down. "Drink your chocolate, doesn't Harry Potter say its good for emotional trauma or something?"

Dawn tried not to smile as she picked her cup up and had a sip, "No marshmallows?"

"There were only three left."

Dawn looked over to her sisters cup and frowned, "And of course you had to have marshmallows in yours."

"Hey I think my emotional distress over the last several days totally outweighs your minor relationship issues right now."

Dawn stood up, "Minor? You think this is just small stuff?"

Buffy picked her cup up and had another drink, before glancing at Dawns now empty seat then back up to her little sister. Finally Dawn plopped back down in her chair petulantly.

"You know you really should stop doing that." Buffy commented.

"Doing what?"

"Acting like a little girl, throwing tantrums, stomping your foot... not if you want to look mature enough to have a serious relationship."

Dawn was about to come back with a witty reply but stopped short, "Are you saying you approve now?"

Buffy took a deep breath through her nose, "You were right before, I've had some screwed up relationships so I can't judge you. Besides Xander is pretty awesome in a Xander sort of way, not my thing but if its your thing then I say go for it."

"What about...a-about Willow?"

Buffy stopped with her cup halfway to her lips for a few seconds, "What about Willow?" She asked.

"Buffy, I think I love Willow too...and I think...I know she feels at least attracted to me. What if we want to share Xander?"

Buffy turned toward her sister, "Wait! When did Willow and Xander hook up? What about Oz?"

"Um, Oz and Willow sort of broke up yesterday but it's been coming for a few days. He seems okay with it now, but he was getting all clingy and wolfish around her there for a while after the dreams started."

Buffy frowned and her forehead crinkled cutely, "Where was I during all this?" She asked, sounding awfully petulant, almost like her little sister.

"You were sleep deprived and bitchy, its a wonder you even noticed Mom and Mr. Giles..."

"Uhg, don't remind me...I want to pretend for another few hours if I can, that it didn't happen and won't be happening again...ick!" Both sisters shivered.

"Well...mom looks really happy, and Mr. Giles is really great right?"

"Yeah Giles is the greatest...for an old guy. But mom and Giles is just...ew."

"Buffy?"

"Hmm?"

"Me and Willow?"

Buffy let out a long breath to stop her first response, "Look, its a little wiggy to me to be honest, but I'm not gonna freak about it. If that's what works for you two...three...ew." She shook her head to clear the images, "If that works for you then I won't stop it, but if Xander hurts you..."

"You really think he could?"

Buffy stopped cracking her knuckles and thought about it. "No...I guess not."

"I'm gonna go talk to Christine, apparently I missed a cat fight earlier."

"Huh?" Buffy asked.

"Don't worry about it." Dawn said with a smile as she got up out of her seat. She turned around at the steps, "And thanks Buffy, for listening, and not judging."

"That's what big sisters are for, don't take too long, we need to get you cleaned up and see if we can salvage our spa day."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Rupert what am I supposed to do?" Joyce asked in mild panic.

"Xander Harris is one of the most upstanding and remarkable young men I have known in quite some time. Would you disapprove of a relationship between he and Buffy?"

She frowned at him, "You know I wouldn't, I actively tried to get you to push them together at one point."

"Quite, and Ms. Rosenberg? Would you disprove of her relationship with Xander?"

"Of course not, Willow is a wonderful, talented, gifted young woman. I think they make a wonderful pair."

"If Willow were a man, would you accept her as boyfriend material for Buffy?"

"That...I can't answer that..."

He sat up straighter and faced her, pulling her hands up to his chest as he looked her in he eye, "I believe the main question is not IF, it is WHEN this relationship is going to be tried. I believe Dawn has very sound judgment and I believe in Willow and Xander. The decision you must make, is whether to accept the situation, and your daughter, for who she is. Even if that means she is a lesbian; or do you stand in the way and risk her distancing herself from you when she is allowed to leave home in two years?"

Joyce frowned as she thought hard over things she would rather pretend weren't happening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

The four women sat quietly in Joyce's Jeep pointedly ignoring the earlier arguments as they drove toward the Spa. Willow sat in the front seat to avoid physical contact with Dawn who was in the back with Buffy. Joyce kept looking in the rear view at he daughter, and then glancing quickly at the redhead beside her trying to decide how she felt about the budding relationship.

She HAD been to college, and while at college she HAD experimented a time or two before meeting Hank so she couldn't really argue with her daughter about her sexuality. If anything she was happy that Dawn had discovered and accepted something like this about herself at such a young age. But just like everything else it seemed that knowing on an intellectual level was one thing, having it shoved in your face was quite another. She really wished above all else that Dawn actually would have waited until college so that it would have been a detached sort of knowing. Being a Mom and a Friend was proving harder every day.

Buffy was nodding off in the seat behind Joyce but kept catching herself when her chin hit her chest and Willow was busy trying to be invisible. Suddenly she felt something grasping at her lower back and nearly jumped out of her seat before she realized it was Dawns hand. She casually readjusted position to let her right hand dangle down between the door and the seat where Dawn grasped it and squeezed twice lightly. Willow smiled and squeezed back once before casually looking over her shoulder and smiling to let Dawn know it was okay. Both girls jumped when Buffy spoke up and quickly let go.

"Are we there yet?"

Joyce smiled into the rear view, "Almost, honestly it has only been ten minutes. I'd think riding anywhere was a luxury for you?"

"It is! It's just getting comfy back here and I don't want to fall asleep...I think Oz was going to take a nap when we left."

"Oz isn't that bad, you know maybe you two..." Willow started.

"Um, no. No offense Willow but I have no idea what this Icha-guy thinks I see in him but while I'm awake he doesn't do it for me. Also not really digging your leftovers, no offense."

"Buffy!" Joyce chastised.

"What?"

"Just...Just no Buffy, that was crude and I won't have you talking like that around me."

"Sorry."

The car fell back into silence until they pulled into the parking lot at the UC Sunnydale Spa, The four got out and grabbed their day bags from the back before making their way inside to the reception. After being led to the changing area Buffy was relieved to find cubicles with showers for each of them rather than an open locker room.

Ducking inside she quickly disrobed and rinsed off as the sign directed before putting on the large white fluffy robe provided and picking up her discarded clothing and bag. She was just putting her stuff in a locker when the others emerged one by one to do the same. A guide appeared and smiled at the group.

"If you will follow me, we will start with the whirlpool to help loosen you up..."

"Um...bad idea." Willow said quietly.

The guide looked confused for a moment before noting the looks on their faces, "Ah ha...well then...perhaps we will move straight to the steam room?"

Dawn spoke up this time, thinking of Xanders swim-team mishap, "Uh, is there anything funny in the steam we should know about?"

Once again the poor woman looked confused, "There is eucalyptus extract that can be added if you like?"

"Guys stop it!" Buffy said before smiling, "That sounds wonderful."

They were lead to a glass door with several wooden cubbies outside where they could exchange their robes for towels. Buffy changed as quickly as possible and headed into the room with Joyce following behind. Willow and Dawn seemed to be taking their time and Joyce had to remark on it when they finally entered the room.

"Taking the scenic route?"

"Mom!" Buffy said in disgust and both Dawn and Willow were glad to hear the burst of steam which quickly hid their blushes.

"It's not like that..." Willow began.

"Yeah we just weren't being prudes like some people, honestly its not like you don't have anything I don't have...though...thank you for not making me look at it for very long Mom."

"You say such wonderful things dear."

More steam filled the room so that they could barely make each other out now and a pregnant silence seemed to accompany it. Dawn snuck her hand across the inches of tile to playfully wrap her fingers through Willows. The read head was torn between what she knew was right, and what she knew she wanted. Not to mention her sudden inability to think straight thanks to a pounding heart and nerves, all thanks to the proximity of Joyce and Buffy.

She quite suddenly jolted her hand away from Dawns when Buffy started speaking, "Okay fine, I will be the one to point out the elephant in the room."

"W-What are you talking about?" Willow asked in an obviously forced voice.

The slayer stared in the direction of her best friends voice, "I'm talking about You and Xander and my little sister."

"I am right here you know." Dawn said defensively.

"I know, I'm not ignoring you I am just trying to fix what's wrong here." She turned toward the Joyce shaped area of the steam room. "Mom, Dawn told me she is in love with Xander and honestly I believe her even if I don't agree a hundred percent. And even though it wigs me out a little...I believe her when she says she has real feelings for Willow."

Joyce was silent for a good thirty seconds before speaking, "I know and I don't disagree with you."

Dawn was ready with an offensive, "But Mom you can't keep us apart based on some stupid age and stupid laws. I'm going to be with them if they want me to and they do, Don't you Willow?"

"Um...Dawn honey..."

"No!" The girl said standing up and turning toward her...girl crush? "You don't get to run away this time, lets have this out! I love Xander and you love Xander and both of us are at least attracted to each other. There is no reason not to share if he wants to try it, and I think we both know what he really wants despite what he says to our faces!"

"Dawnie you aren't listening..." Buffy tried to interject.

"And you!" The irate girl said turning toward her sisters voice, "You have done nothing but bitch and moan since you found out what was going on! I mean yeah, so you had dreams about Oz and I totally don't get that, maybe its something to do with the demon in you being attracted to the wolf in him. I don't know! And I get it, because I totally don't see what is so special about Oz either," She turned slightly to her right, "No offense of course."

Willow was really confused and angry at Dawn at the moment and felt the need to defend Oz even if she didn't want to be with him anymore. But as she opened her mouth to speak Dawn turned back to Buffy to continue her tirade.

"As for Xander, I think you are completely out of your mind not to want him. I think you are lying to yourself and have been for three years because Willow was posting 'no poaching' signs around him the moment you showed up. Pike the drunk was not exactly the coolest most popular guy in school and you still dated him and Xander has saved your life!"

Now Willow really was angry, "Excuse me? No Poaching signs? What the hell are you..."

Dawn ignored her and turned in her mothers direction, "And you, you want Xander for Buffy and you made no secret of that fact. Why can't you just be happy for me then? This may be a strange lifestyle choice but its My Choice! There has only ever been Xander for me, and now there is Xander and Willow and you just have to accept that!"

"Are you finished?" Joyce asked a bit coldly.

Dawn deflated a bit and sat down...she reached for Willow's hand again but the red head had her arms crossed and was shifted away from the girl. As the silence fell Dawn realized how far into her mouth she had just stuck her foot and apologized, "I'm sorry...yes I'm finished..."

Joyce let the silence stretch once more until she felt that Dawn was chastising herself rather nicely before speaking. "Did you listen to what I said?"

"You agreed with Buffy!"

"Dawn honey, did you listen to what Buffy said?" Willow asked, saving her arguments for later in case she decided to cool down. After all, she'd just witnessed one person sticking their foot in their mouth.

"Buffy has been against this from the start...er...why," She turned towards her sister, "What did you say?"

"I said I believe you and I agree with you, and mom agrees with me."

Dawn very quietly said, "Oh."

"Now lets go back to what you said about me dealing with my issues, how dare you presume to understand how I feel about anyone or assume that this Icha Icha character isn't just messing with my head for the fun of it!"

Willow cleared her throat, "Actually Buffy, I think what she said has merit." She narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice a bit as she looked in Dawns direction, "Some of it anyway."

"Willow not you too!"

"Just listen for a second Buffy, you've been stressed out since before this started, and only worse since it happened; and you're the only one who has really had a problem with the whole thing."

Joyce cleared her throat, "For the record, though I am happy to have admitted my feelings for Rupert due to all of this, I am still none too excited about exposing myself to Prince Xander!"

"Yeah mom, what was up with that? Apparently you're into Xander too? Am I the only sane one in this room?"

Three shouts of "Hey!" came back at her and Joyce lightly cuffed her on the back of the head. "You are ALSO apparently into Xander need I remind you? I'm afraid I have to go against you on this one Buffy, I think part of what has you so stressed out about this situation, is that you simply won't accept a few truths about yourself."

"Admitting you have a problem is the first step." Dawn chimed in.

"Okay, this is not relaxing me anymore, I think its time for us to move on to the next treatment." With that Buffy got up and headed for the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I must say this is not what I expected when you mentioned us spending the day together, however did we have to come in your vehicle?" Giles asked.

Xander had coaxed Giles in to Christine against the older mans judgment, complaining all the while that he would much prefer taking his own vehicle. While Willow had successfully tamed her Xander was still a bit leery of pissing his car off in unneeded ways. So after getting Giles into the car Xander had driven them out into the brush to an off the beaten path shooting range.

"Honestly? Your car isn't likely to get jealous and crush Christine in the middle of the night. Besides, I have the fun stuff in my trunk already." Xander said with a smile before popping the rear compartment open.

Inside was an assortment of pistols, automatic and semi-automatic rifles, a couple of crossbows and a pair of compound bows. Giles eyes seemed to narrow and glaze over at the same moment. "My word...aren't most of these weapons illegal to own in California?"

Xander began putting weapons over his shoulder as well as pulling out a duffel bag of ammunition and handing a pair of slings to Giles full of arrows. "Technically yes, but I luckily still have the codes to the Sunnydale Naval Weapons depot and the authorization to take these off base."

"How did you manage that? That was several years ago, wouldn't they have changed the codes by now?" Giles asked as he grabbed the belt with several holstered pistols on it.

"While I was there I might have found an open computer terminal, and thanks to Willow I might have known how to gain access to the system, and I possibly put myself into the system as a special forces operative so that I could procure that rocket launcher without raising any eyebrows."

Xander closed the trunk lid and began walking toward the firing area of the range, there appeared to be nobody around at all and Giles, still reeling from several revelations wondered just where this range came from. "Who owns this establishment?"

The teenager cocked a grin in his direction, "Well...it was abandoned as a training ground by the military and I just happened to come out here and fix it up. You know those soldier memories I mentioned?"

"I do recall you saying something to Oz."

"Well I've kept it on the down-low but while I don't remember specifics, I found that if I pick up a weapon I seem to immediately have an intimate working knowledge of it. I figured it would be best to brush up on those skills rather than letting them go to waste. I've been taking Judo at the rec center too and a lot of that is muscle memory so its taking longer, but I fought through most of the class except for the instructor and two of his teachers and they started me off as a yellow belt."

Giles was impressed, "Sixth Mons is quite an accomplishment for someone who just started."

"Er...yeah I meant Ninth Kyu...I might actually have a job in the fall as an assistant instructor but I don't know how to teach what I know, I just know it...you know what I mean?"

Giles, who was a bit flabbergasted at this point, just nodded as Xander began setting up weapons on a nearby bench. "Anyway, I thought we could have some fun with the automatics but the real reason I wanted to come out here was so you could try some of the newer model crossbows and take a look at these."

Xander pulled out a heavy duty plastic box and opened it to reveal sleek metal arrow tips arranged neatly in foam padding. "Incendiary and Explosive arrowheads. Ever see Rambo fire one of these? I figure if Rambo can do it then Buffy should have no problem."

"I imagine not..."

After a bit of hesitation on Giles' part the two began joyfully working their way through the firearms, unloading whole clips into nearby posts and hay bales. Xander produced several normal arrow tips when it came time to try out the archery weapons so that they could dial in how to shoot them. The older man was not far behind the younger in being able to hit the bulls-eye out at a hundred yards. And Giles finally relaxed enough to bring up the dreaded topic of discussion.

"I imagine the ladies are working through their issues at this point...I believe it only fair that we broach the subject. Hopefully we can be mature and civil about this."

Xander sighed and sat down his compound bow before turning to his defacto father figure. "Alright G-man, hit me with it."

Giles removed his glasses but didn't polish them, "I believe that you and Willow are wonderful together and I highly approve of the relationship."

"But?" The younger man asked knowing what was coming next.

"Well...Dawn is," he replaced his glasses with a sigh, "A wonderful young woman who is rather more mature than you three were at that age and I do not believe she is experiencing normal puppy-love. I daresay she is a woman who knows exactly what she wants and I'm not certain that there is anything I can do to stop it even if I were her guardian."

Xanders eyebrows drew together as he puzzled out what Giles was trying to say, "So then you...what?"

Giles was fighting fatherly instincts, especially considering he thought of Xander as much of a son as he did as Dawn being a daughter. "I was young once."

"No way!"

Giles glared slightly at Xander, and in that glare was a promise of pain and a reminder that the man had earned the nickname 'Ripper' in his youth. Xander gulped.

"Indeed, and as a young man I had many...interesting relationships. A relationship between Willow, Dawn and yourself while unorthodox is not necessarily a bad thing at all. If I didn't think of Dawn like a daughter I would say I were rather proud of you for attracting two such lovely and talented women and envious that they wanted to share."

"But?"

"But as it is, I can only say that..I urge caution and careful consideration, and as one adult to another I remind you that Dawn is only sixteen and all the legal responsibilities that entails if you enter a relationship with her."

"So you...approve?"

Giles nodded but removed his glasses once more, "However if you hurt either one of those girls I assure you there are many ways to return that hurt to you threefold."

Xander gulped again as he nodded in understanding, "Understood."

"Good then, I'm glad we got that out of the way." Giles said with a smile, replacing his glasses and picking up a pistol and quickly emptying the clip into the target paper hanging at the 200 yard mark. As he reeled in the paper Xander noted that it was a nice tight grouping on five in the chest and five in the head.

"Hey G-man?"

"Hm?"

"You know Joyce is the closest thing to a real mom I've had ever right?"

"Of course."

Xander picked up his own pistol and emptied the clip at his own target, pushing the button to reel it in he turned to head toward Christine. "Good, I'm gonna go get the other box of special arrow tips."

As the younger man walked away Giles looked over to the target at first thinking Xander had missed entirely until he noted a smiley face ripped into the crotch. He spoke quietly to himself, "Touche."

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they caught up to Buffy she was already laying on the massage table so they all made likewise, the guide came in and told them their masseuses would be in shortly. Leaving them once again with an oppressive silence.

"Buffy?" Willow asked from her table.

"Hmm?"

"We really need to talk about this, every time sex comes up you get all uptight and bitchy, that's the opposite of stress reduction."

"Then stop talking about it and let me relax."

"Buffy!" Joyce chastised her, "It isn't healthy to repress your feelings like this, I have to agree with Willow."

The slayer rolled onto her side to face Willow, "Fine then lets hash this out, obviously Dawn isn't the only one who's decided to be all up in my business today."

Willow took a deep breath, she was non-confrontational by nature but emotions were running high at the moment and she knew it was something that needed to be done, "Good, lets take this one step at a time. Lets start with Oz."

Buffy made an 'uhg' sound, "There is nothing there to talk about."

"Actually I think what Dawn said has merit Buffy, don't you think you can accept that completely beyond your control, the demon that powers the slayer, is attracted to the Wolf inside of Oz?"

Buffy was quiet for a few moments before shrugging, "Fine, Buffy is not attracted to him, the demon is."

Willow smiled at making progress while Joyce took up the next part, "Okay then, what about Xander?"

Buffy rolled onto her back and put an arm over her eyes like the light was causing her a headache, "What about Xander?"

"Buffy honey, you have to be honest with yourself. What's wrong with Xander? Isn't he cute?"

Again a silence, "Xander is really cute in a Xander-shaped way..."

Dawn chimed in, "And don't forget Xander in a Speedo! I was there and we were all drooling over him before we realized who we were looking at."

"Not that you weren't drooling afterward too." Willow said with a smile.

"Guilty!" Dawn said with a smile.

Joyce picked up where she left off, "Now honey, it sounds like to me you do find Xander attractive, at least physically."

They could almost hear Buffy grinding her teeth during the silence that followed before she replied quietly. "Fine...Xander is hot, but that doesn't man anything. We were never meant to be together anyway."

"Oh honey," Joyce stood up and went over to her oldest, carefully holding the towel around her and pulling her off the table and up into a hug. "Have you been holding that in the whole time? Why didn't you just say something to him?"

Dawn and Willow were looking at each other wide-eyed and gaping, not sure what to say to that. Buffy wiped her face where a few tears had fallen. "I...I could tell Willow was totally into him and I wasn't going to just butt in, besides he was pretty geeky when I met him." She sniffed and smiled, "Then I met Angel and it didn't seem to matter anymore, Xander kept warning me about him but I couldn't see past the whole star-crossed lovers thing. I've been awful to Xander because I was too afraid to get close to him and hurt him or Willow and then I was too stubborn to admit I was wrong. Now he's with Willow and as the cherry on top he's with my Sister!" She laughed nervously.

"Buffy I didn't know." Dawn said quietly.

"I think I kinda did...but I guess Dawnie was right...I was pretty territorial about him. What did you call it?" Willow asked turning to Dawn.

"No Poaching Signs."

She laughed, "Yeah... I'm sorry Buffy. But I can't say I wish I took it all back. I'm in love with him now more than I was then."

Buffy shook her head, "No its okay, I don't really love him like that. I don't even think we would really work well together, he hates when I tell him what to do and I can't help it, and it's not like I am IN love with him or anything. Just one of those 'what if' things I get to live with..."

Joyce hugged her once more and let her compose herself before pushing forward with the last issue. "I think you and Dawn should both know that before I met your father I had my share of...experiences, with a girlfriend in college."

Two voices shouted at her, "WHAT!"

She pulled a pained face and wiggled a finger in her ear, since Buffy had still been hugging her when she shouted, "I said I had my own experiences so you shouldn't be ashamed of finding other women attractive. It doesn't mean you have to do anything about it."

"But..." Buffy said getting a glassy eyed look, "Ew! Mom! Why did you have to put that image in my head?"

Joyce sighed, "I think it is apparent that you are not even bisexual dear, so you don't have to worry that you are suddenly going to start batting for the other team just because you admit an attraction to another woman. I like to say it is that you are attracted to the person, not the sex of the person."

Dawn smiled, "Besides, Willow is hot. You shouldn't feel bad for recognizing that." Willow blushed.

Buffy turned her head toward her sister, "Double Ew Dawn! I may be okay with you two doing...that...eventually but don't rub it in my face please? You're still my innocent little sister!" She turned to Willow, "And just so you know, if you ever hurt her so help me..."

Willow was half scared, half hurt, and felt the magic responding to the sudden surge of emotions. She quickly stomped both feelings down before she did something she regretted...no use letting anyone but Xander and Christine know about her little slip the night before. "Buffy do you really think I could do that?"

Buffy frowned, "I don't want to think so, but you fluked around on Oz..."

Willow bit her bottom lip and Dawn moved to pull her into a hug, "Buffy that isn't fair!"

"But it's true Dawnie, I promise not to ever intentionally hurt you though. I know what that guilt feels like and I will never do it again!"

Dawn pushed some hair out of the older girls face and smiled, "I know, I trust you. Besides, if you did I'd get Xander all to myself."

"Not on your life Hun." Willow said grinning back and staring into her eyes. She began to lean forward unthinkingly...

"Willow! Dawn! Stop that this instant!" Joyce said though she appeared to be hiding a smile, "We haven't finished resolving anything yet and I think I might be with Buffy on this one. I can accept a relationship between you but I need time to adjust!"

Both girls blushed and moved away from each other back toward their own tables, "Sorry Joyce."

"Yeah sorry mom."

Joyce sighed and hugged Buffy one more time before going back to her table. "So?" She said indicating her subject by looking Buffy in the eye.

"Buffy rolled back onto her stomach and readjusted her towel before mumbling into table, "Fine...I find Willow attractive, but that doesn't mean I want to play doctor anytime soon."

Dawn perked up at that and looked at a blushing Willow with a grin. "Doctor?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Heya there kid! Long time no see!"

Xander groaned as he recognized the white-haired pervert squatting on the arm of the couch opposite where he was laying. "Guess I fell asleep huh?"

"Don't worry about it, nobody else did and I can't summon the power to bring you that redhead right now. I did do a little bit of Sealing on her consciousness though so she can come visit you every now and then when the Seals charge, even after I'm gone. Don't you appreciate my generosity?"

The teen contemplated what that meant but finally shrugged it off, "Thanks I guess, so if you're still here I take it things haven't quite corrected themselves with the girls yet."

Jiraiya frowned, "I swear you are taking all the fun out of my research, no respect for my artwork."

A sudden thought came to his mind and Xander sat up, "Hey since you're here..think you could answer a question for me?"

The man smiled, "You aren't gay, don't worry about it. You and the other guy were sharing the red head's dream not each others. I don't necessarily see anything wrong with two guys...but I'm not really excited to write about it so at best I'd be bored watching you two go at it."

"I guess maybe I can thank you for coming here and royally screwing with my love life, but rest assured if I can ever find a way to hurt you, I will be coming after you."

Jiraiya just shrugged off the threat, "You really have no idea what you are messing with, but it doesn't matter since I'm about to leave anyway. If things don't change I'm sure I'll see you again sometime anyway." Jiraiya disappeared with a grin in a swirl of leaves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Honey we're home!" Dawn called as she entered the front door, Buffy immediately made her way to the bathroom almost too fast for Xander to see as he sat up on the couch."

Willow and Joyce followed right behind Buffy, the latter going to the middle of the living room and stopping before crooking a finger at Xander. Giles walked in from the kitchen just as Xander gulped and stood up. "Uh...what did I do now?"

Joyce enfolded him in a hug and held him their until he realized he wasn't in trouble and returned it, then she turned him around and hugged him from behind preventing his escape as Dawn walked up to him. "Hello lover-boy."

"Wait what?"

Joyce spoke over his shoulder, "Xander, do you want to date my daughter?"

"Uh.."

"I need your answer right now, you might want to answer before Buffy comes back and takes my place."

Willow was just smiling on like nothing was wrong offering no support, and Dawn just stood their with an arched eyebrow. "So?"

Xander closed his eyes, expecting to be hit by at least one of the women in the room, "I think I love her, of course I'd like to date her."

He kept his eyes closed for several seconds before slowly cracking them open when he wasn't hit or shoved or yelled at. Once his face cleared of its grimace Dawn leaned in and spoke softly. "Good answer."

She then softly pressed her lips to his and Joyce let him go when she felt his arms moving. They rose to wrap around behind Dawns back and fireworks seemed to explode inside his head when Dawn slipped him a bit of tongue, deepening the kiss. Dreams had nothing on the reality of holding Dawn Summers in his arms and he only stopped kissing her when he ran out of air. Barely catching his breath before Willow joined the three-way hug and kissed him just as forcefully, nearly causing him to pass out from the pounding heartbeat and sudden lack of blood flowing to his brain.

Giles was busily polishing his glasses and looking elsewhere as Joyce politely coughed into her hand, also looking anywhere but at the three figures framed by the sunset through the front windows. "I think that will be quite enough of that for the moment, thank you."

A joyous shout from the downstairs bathroom caught their attention just before Buffy came charging out holding a panty liner with a single drop of blood on it triumphantly before her. "Ha! Take that you Icha Bastard!"

"Er Buffy?" Dawn said slowly.

Buffy grinned as she turned toward her favorite sister in the entire world, completely ignoring the three-way hug-fest. "Yes sister dear?"

"Um... your um..." Dawn said, trying to clear the words that were stuck in her throat. It was only then that Buffy noticed that all the men in the room were busy looking anywhere but at her and fidgeting like they were fighting their bodies fight or flight response.

Her eyes widened comically as she quickly hid the liner behind her and started walking backward toward he bathroom. "Er...yeah...so I guess we are all good...here..." With that she turned and fled to avoid her own embarrassment.

The others turned back to the center of the room to face each other, "So... Guess that's it then." Xander said with a half smile in Giles' direction, "Kind of unfulfilling when you're used to blowing stuff up to save the world from an apocalypse at least once a year..."

He got smacked on both shoulders with twin cries of "Hey!" for that remark.

"What? I meant the big bad being gone was unfulfilling, obviously I didn't mean you two because honestly...I'm not sure if I woke up from my nap yet!"

"I guess we can take that as a compliment," Willow said with a smile.

Dawn nodded, "Good to know we're the women of his dreams." 

_Beta by Godogma_


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: **_Joss Whedon or whoever he sold the rights to owns the Buffyverse, Icha Icha is owned by Jiraiya who in turn is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, Christine belongs to Stephen King and Transformers or any other fandom's I've missed also, do not belong to me...I own nothing apparently or I wouldn't be writing fanfiction._

Icha Icha Sunnydale: An Epilogue and some Omakes

Xander turned to Willow who was in the passenger seat of Christine singing along to yet another Elvis tune. "Can you believe we are actually here? I mean, we've been planning this road trip since forever."

She smiled back at him, "I know, I can't wait to see Nevada."

"Me either, 4 hours to Reno with me driving, I bet Christine can make it faster without getting caught, what do you think babe?"

The dome light blinked once.

"Cool, well if Christine is driving then I guess that leaves my hands free for more important things." He said this while leaning across the seat and pressing his lips against hers. His hands found her waist and went up under her t shirt to play with the warm smooth skin there.

"Xander! Someone will see us!" She said while giggling.

He wasn't entirely certain she disliked that idea, but the windows went opaque black soon after and he smiled, "I guess that solves that problem then."

She smiled back at him then sighed, "I wish Dawnie could have come with us."

"Yeah, once Giles talked Mrs S down a bit she really didn't have a problem with us dating...though I think she is still in denial about you two." He kissed her nose quickly, "I think what put the kibosh on her coming with us is when she overheard Dawn talking about how the legal age in Nevada is 16 instead of 18. No matter how cool Mrs S is, she's still a mom and Dawn is still 16."

"Yeah...I miss her though. Maybe we can call her when we stop in Reno?"

"Okay, in the meantime, I've been meaning to test out that back seat." he grinned as he vaulted into the back of the car and crooked his finger at her. "Who wants to be a naughty witch in the middle of the I-80?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~IchaIcha~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the trunk Dawn grinned as she heard the springs and the muffled conversation of her hopefully soon to be lovers. "Thanks for letting me stow away Christy, I'm sure once they get over the shock, they will promptly thank you, before probably putting me on a bus or driving me back home. But I plan to make the most of that age law before that happens."

She grinned and hummed along with the Elvis tune she could hear through the deck mounted speakers above her. 'Love me Tender, Love me sweet...'

As Willow shouted out the first of many orgasms Dawn sighed, "This is going to be a long 3 hours."

A/N: Thus completes my NaNoWriMo story, not bad for coming up with the idea in late October and writing the whole thing in November. I admit chapter 10 changed a lot during editing though, adding a few thousand words. Now I welcome you to read an Omake by Stick97 on my yahoo group gml_fanfic. Please please read it and enjoy as much as I did! Some people didn't find it as entertaining as I did but I include it here for you to decide. Also, I didn't edit the omake at all, talk to stick97 if you find a problem. Thanks for reading!

Omake:

"Will? have you seen Christine?" asked Xander staring at the empty  
>spot where his zombie carkinky girlfriend had last been parked.

"um. she kept playing country western sad songs, and then a ad for  
>the car show came on. She started playing some stripper theme music,<br>and took off." replied a blushing Willow.

"huh. well nothing like a little eye candy to rev the engine I guess.  
>Wonder when she'll be back?" wondered Xander.<p>

2 weeks later.

"Christine! You're back! And you're a station wagon!" shouted Xander in shock.

With a loud hi pitched honk, Christin began spraying Xander with  
>windshield washer fluid and shuddering.<p>

"Um, a really stylish and sleek stationwagon?" asked a soaked and  
>shocked Xander.<p>

"Silly, she's a sporty hatchback!" replied an indignant Willow.

"Um, how exactly did you get the uh...upgrade Christine?" asked a now  
>cautious Xander.<p>

"Summer Lovin' Happened so fast..." came across the radio, as the  
>front tires shifted back and forth nervously.<p>

"Aww, did you got some hot greasy loving from a racecar, Christine?"  
>asked Willow with a mischevious smile.<p>

Christine's engine purred with sheer satisfaction.

"My precious car has been violated!" wailed Xander, clutching at his forehead.

"Uh, pretty sure we did a pretty good job of that during that one  
>dream when IchaIcha was still here Xan." blushed Willow.<p>

"Well, yeah, but that, um, well. Yeah, nevermind. But I wanna meet  
>the racecar, ern father, whatever who did this to you. The shovel<br>speech might no work, but my uncle has a carcrusher and a empty slot  
>with his name on it if he doesn't support our girl here.<p>

A few months later...

"Is everything OK, Joe? How is she?" asked a nervous Xander as he  
>paced back and forth in front of the garage.<p>

Joe the mechanic was slightly pale as he wiped the grease and other  
>fluids on his rag. "I ainst never complainin bouts no foreiign cars<br>again. I thought SAABs was bad with that turbo and all but this here  
>takes the cake."<p>

"Is Christine OK? What about Bumblebee. I mean, it's all his fault  
>and all, but there were some scary noises coming out of the garage and<br>all." said Xander.

"Oh, no worries. They are both fine, I just had to do a few spot  
>welds on some of the damages, everytings peachy keen now." replied Joe<br>with a smile.

"Spot Welds! How is everything fine if you are having to spot weld  
>Christine?" asked a panicked Xander.<p>

"Christine? Naw, she's right as rain, just a little low on fluids, and  
>tired. I'll let her rest, and top her off tomorrow and she'll be<br>copasetic. No, the spot welds were on Bumblebee. She nearly tore his  
>hand off and I had to bang out a couple o' dings to his undercarriage,<br>but he should be ok too. Say, you ready ta see the kids?" asked Joe.

Willow, Dawn and Xander all nodded while giving the garage mechanic  
>their best, 'well DUH!" faces.<p>

Joe asked for a drumroll, and after the trio rolled their eyes and  
>cooperated, he pulled the garage door apart.<p>

And was promptly nearly overrun by three small cars that came zooming out.

"Awwwwww, they're like little Power Wheels!" cooed Dawn.

"I think this one likes me," laughed Willow, as a Barbie pink Jeep  
>bumped her leg gently, while honking at her.<p>

Dawn bent down to run her hands down the red mustang converible's side  
>as it beeped merrily.<p>

Xander looked around for a moment. "Hey, weren't there three of..."

"AWOOOOOOOOOGGGGAAAAA!" blasted from the little black F150 that took  
>Xanders legs out from underneath him, as he was knocked head over<br>heels.

"I see my children like you three, I am glad to see they have their  
>mother's good taste." laughed an oddly familiar voice.<p>

"Ch..Christine? Is that you? I, but, how, wha?" sputtered a frazzled  
>Xander as he tried to make sense of the 18 foot tall robots that were<br>standing side by side at the entrance of the garage.

"Turns out, I wasn't a 'zombiecar' after all, Xander. I am a  
>Transformer, and am a recon scout. I got here back in the fifties,<br>but I was damaged so severely at some point that I was locked into my  
>car form. Then Bee and I met, and well, I kinda had to sta stuck in<br>that form until the kids were out. I needed enough steady Energon  
>infusions to be able to transform back." explained Christine.<p>

"Aren't those infusions what got you into the minivan form to begin  
>with" asked a smirking Dawn?<p>

"Hush!" said a blushing Christine.

At any rate, as soon as the kiddos get their training wheels off,  
>they'll be able to transform too, and once they are grown, I want them<br>to stay with you three. It will be good for you all, and I will feel  
>safer about leaving." said Christine.<p>

"Wait, what? You're leaving us, me?" said a suddenly choked up Xander.

The girls grabbed a side and hugged him in support, as Christine went  
>down to one knee. She looked deep into his eyes, and tried to<br>explain. "I won't be leaving right away, but I have been away from my  
>people for far too long Xander. I need to speak with my father, and<br>let him know what I have found. I will be back though, Xander. I had  
>been nearly destroyed when you found me Xander, both physically and<br>spiritually. I was as bad as, if not worse than a Decepticon, and you  
>had faith in me, and the three of you showed me how to trust and even<br>love again. I'll always be your first car Xander. But I'll be back,  
>and I'll always love you three. I'll never forget you three, and<br>that's why I trust you three with our children."

_Beta by Godogma_


End file.
